https://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/vibrant-voices/maya-halpen/a-few-thoughts-settling Comments for "A Few Thoughts On Settling" en https://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/vibrant-voices/maya-halpen/a-few-thoughts-settling#comment-5389 good point. i am one of those woman. i got the kids though, and here i am, tortured about the price i paid. was 34 really so old that i couldn't wait? it's sickening. thank you. Thu, 08 May 2008 11:16:39 -0400 Guest comment 5389 at https://www.firstwivesworld.com https://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/vibrant-voices/maya-halpen/a-few-thoughts-settling#comment-4627 I'm sorry, but what a stupid piece of advice. Settle for someone because that may be all you can get? Talk about selling yourself and that person short! CM Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:40:23 -0400 Guest comment 4627 at https://www.firstwivesworld.com https://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/vibrant-voices/maya-halpen/a-few-thoughts-settling <p>I read Lori Gottlieb's buzz-worthy <i>Atlantic Monthly</i> article <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry">&quot;Marry Him!&quot;</a> with a sinking heart. Her thesis that older singletons hoping for motherhood should settle for Mr. Good Enough seems dangerous.</p><p>Yes, it's silly to wait for an ideal Mr. Right who doesn't exist. Yes, you and your child will have the immeasurable benefit of a participating father. Yes, you get a co-manager in the maintenance of your home and lifestyle. But you must be sure the price at which you procured these things for yourself was right. And you have to be certain you are capable of living with your decision.</p><p>Worse than remaining partnerless — and now I'm talking as someone who did what Ms. Gottlieb suggests and regrets it — you could find yourself spending days, months, years in secret agony wondering, is my husband indeed Good Enough or not? Do I ignore the needs he cannot meet, perhaps forgoing them for the rest of my life? Do I just need to focus on settling my mind as I did my life? Or perhaps, am I worth a bit more than I bargained for?</p><p>To anyone thinking of settling, I'd say be sure you can live without the things you bartered away in exchange for the security, motherhood, or whatever it is you settled for. Of course, women considering settling are likely not surfing the blogs at <b>First Wives World.</b> But perhaps some women who have settled, and who are contemplating reversing that course, are.</p> https://www.firstwivesworld.com/community/vibrant-voices/maya-halpen/a-few-thoughts-settling#comments Mind and Spirit Sex and Love Kids and Family Contemplating Divorce Mon, 10 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0400 Maya Halpen 5774 at https://www.firstwivesworld.com