Before I agreed to move back in with my ex, Sam, we spent more time breaking down the "how will this work," than we have ever negotiated anything in all our 15 years years together (and apart).

Communication still and after all this therapy (and I suspect forever) is our biggest problem — the problem at the root of all other problems. We just don't talk it out enough, and when we do, we seem to get two entirely different things from one conversation.

But before we moved back in together a couple of weeks ago, we negotiated a detailed "love contract."  Okay, we didn't actually write it out and sign it, but talked about it, and so far we are honoring it.

I have an office that is just my office, and Sam is all for it. I'm thinking up a two-day trip with a girlfriend next month and he says go for it.

It's working out beautifully, just like it would appear on paper, if there was a paper it appeared on, except it's not because I don't know how to make this work.

I don't know how to have my children in the house and check out into my own little work world. I feel guilty when they are banging at the office door and then I feel pissed-off that Sam is not stopping them.

Could be a big case of the grass is always greener, but right now there's a lot I miss about co-custody single parenting, and most of is the down time I had three days a week. Every week. I miss my down time.

I miss knowing I will come home to an empty house Thursday night and not be in charge of the morning shuffle on Friday.

I don't know how to set the boundaries I need to take the space I claimed in that contract. I just don't.

Help!