divorce polls

When did you meet the woman who became your kid's new Step-Mom?

Fri, 09 May 2008 10:24:48 -0400

* Before the Wedding * After the Wedding * I'm planning to...someday... * Why? Has Hell frozen over?

How do you celebrate family milestones?

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:24:42 -0400

* As a large, happily-blended family * Together like oil and water * My Ex and I plan two separate but equal functions * My Ex and I compete to out-do each other

Broken Vows

Marshall — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 17:11:18 -0400

The Midlife Crisis: New Cause Of Divorce

Maureen Dempsey — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 13:15:24 -0500

A midlife crisis is the cause for:

a) a shiny new sports car in the driveway
b) your husband’s suspicious fascination with the new (younger) girl at work
c) a divorce
d) all of the above

If you answered "d," you are correct! We all know that the first two answers are no-brainers, but a recent article in the Guardian newspaper reported that growing numbers of divorcing couples in the U.K. are citing "midlife crisis" as a cause for separation.

"Midlife crisis" ranks second, just behind extramarital affairs, for reasons for filing and has risen from just 2% in 2006 to 14% for 2007.

Bonus fact: In 93% of midlife cases, the man was the one having the crisis. Surprise, surprise!

Hey Guys, Get To Work!

Amanda Lockhart — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:00:00 -0500

Here's a fun story that's sure to make men uncomfortable — couples are less likely to divorce if the guy does his share of the housework.

How's that for a fun conversation starter in the break room at your office? Run that by a few men you know and see what they think.

According to a study by Britain's Economic Social Research Council, couples where both the man and woman work outside the house are more likely to get divorced if the man doesn't pitch in at home. It seems unlikely that a lot of marriages break up just because the guy is a lazy bum and won't do the laundry. But as one researcher mentions, disputes about housework can be a "flashpoint" in a marriage that can add to other strains on the relationship.

The findings coincide somewhat with the rising number of working women in England, and the whole idea seems like it's teetering on the brink of suggesting that women should stay home. I don't think it's worth dredging up that debate. But it is worth wondering if couples should start doing some serious talking about how the housework gets done.

Click here for more.

Is Divorce Ruining The Planet?

Brian Kilroy — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:00:00 -0500

As I toggled through today's news, I was surprised to find an article linking divorce to the decline of our green planet. I thought I'd heard it all, but I guess I was wrong. Now it seems that the Center for Systems Integration and Sustainability at Michigan State University is pointing it's fickle middle finger at divorce, claiming among other things, that divorce contributes to "resource inefficient lifestyles". No kidding!

The article goes on to say that divorce was responsible for "73 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity that could have been saved in the United States (2005) if the energy use of divorced couples had matched that of married couples". Remember that phrase from the movie "Network" where Howard Beal says "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore"? I'm there.

Just what in the world are these scientists thinking? More importantly, don't they have better things to do than worry about how much water divorced people use? Maybe I'm not the best informed person in the world, but I don't need to conduct a clinical study to know that two people living apart use more electricity, and require more washing machines than two living together.

Dear MSU,
Thank you for confirming and quantifying what we already knew. Now, how about joining us at FWW to see what can be done to improve life for the millions of Americans involved in divorce?

To read the entire article, click here.

Communication Is Everything

Amanda Lockhart — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0500

If there's one simple truth about marriages — or any relationship, for that matter — it's that communication is everything. You get an idea just how important it is when you consider some numbers I saw from a Japanese survey.

According to these statistics, nearly 40 percent of Japanese married couples speak to each other less than 30 minutes a day. Slightly less disturbing, nearly half the women surveyed said they had contemplated divorce at some point.

Now, the numbers were collected by an insurance company. I'm not sure what motivation they'd have in showing that marriages are struggling. But the survey also found that the chief complaints women had about their husbands was that they smoked and drank too much. Maybe it's part of some healthy living initiative.

But let's not get bogged down in analyzing the numbers. I think the bottom line here is really very simple: A lot of married couples don't spent a heck of a lot of time talking to each other. I wonder what the results would be if you asked American couples how much time they spend every day talking to each other. Come to think of it, I take that back. I'm not sure I really want to know.

Click here for more.

Divorce: Help Me Jesus!

Amanda Lockhart — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 09:00:00 -0500

With apologies to those of you who feel strongly about your religious beliefs, it always rubs me the wrong way when religion and social conservatism are mixed together to create "how you should live" dogma. You want to worship and be a believer? Fine. Just don't tell me what I should believe.

I got annoyed when I read a piece about a dust-up between Christians debating what the Bible has to say about divorce. I'm sure there's a worthwhile theological discussion to have about this. But the whole thing — as reported in a Time Magazine story — seems so meaningless to me. Honestly, I've got more things to worry about than what Jesus said or what he meant, or what someone 2,000 years after he died thinks he meant.

What is interesting is that there seems to be a significant percentage of Christians who feel that strict interpretation of the Bible isn't such a good thing. According to the Time story, an essay in Christianity Today that questioned the church's long-held disdain for divorce drew a very mixed response. Forty percent agreed that modern realities of life cause them to question some of the Bible's teachings. So there you have it: Christianity and open-mindedness may not be mutually exclusive after all.

Thank God!

Click here for more.

Do You Have A Plan B?

Amanda Lockhart — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 13:30:00 -0500

I read a really interesting piece about financial planning that ought to make everyone do a lot of thinking. TD Waterhouse did a poll of Canadian women and found that 65 percent said they became more involved in their household finances after getting divorced.

Now, on the surface, that may seem obvious. Everyone knows a big part of going through a divorce is managing your finances. But if you think about it a little more deeply, it means that a lot of those women weren't paying all that much attention to their financial well-being prior to their divorces. And that's no good.

Experts quoted in a Financial Post story about the TD Waterhouse poll recommend more women taking an active role in money matters, regardless of their marital status. And further, they emphasize the importance of formulating a backup plan. Even if you like your present circumstances, you never know what's around the bend. Everyone needs a Plan B.

Perhaps it's something that comes with age, because the poll found that older women generally do have backup plans. But this is something that you should think about if you're in your 20s or 30s, regardless of where you are in your life.

Even if it's just putting some money into a 401k, or a CD if you don't want to tie up your money long-term, anything you can do to save now is in your best interest. If you've been through a divorce, you know that already.

Click here for more.

Silver Divorces On The Rise

Rachel Small — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 09:30:00 -0500

At a time when divorce rates are falling, it turns out that people over 60 are divorcing at an alarming rate. What are some of the reasons for dumping a spouse after 40 or 50 years?

In a study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) in 2004 of people aged 40-79, it was found that 66 percent of the women instigated divorce actions. Some said they could no longer endure drug or alcohol addiction. Others divorced because of physical and emotional abuse or for infidelity.

Researchers claim retirement is a strain on marriage, just as the empty nest may start the process of thinking about divorce. In Japan, women called retired husbands a nuisance. Some women can't stand their spouse home all day. In the U.K., gray divorce is becoming an epidemic. In Italy, married couples 55 and over seeking legal separation rose by three and a half percent, and those filing for divorce grew by three percent from 2000-2004.

U.S. census figures reveal divorce rates for those over 65 have doubled since 1980. Divorces in this age bracket grew to eight percent of all divorces in 2004. Older couples experiencing problems are less likely to seek professional counseling because they often consider it a stigma. Women from traditional backgrounds are rebelling late in marriages which subsume or suppress their individuality. They are often disappointed that an equal union, which is expected to provide personal fulfillment, has not been a reality.

It appears that older people are learning from younger generations that it's better to be happy and alone than miserable and married. While they are looking forward to a longer and healthier life, they may be seeking new partners or entering into new marriages. But if they do not find a new partner, who will they rely on if they become ill or incapacitated?