How to Curb Dating Expenses
How to Curb Dating Expenses
Dating is fun and good for you, but the cost can be significant, especially if you factor in the price of childcare.
Dating after divorce should be something you look forward to and enjoy. In my case, because I had small children and was embarrassed by how quickly my marriage failed I wasn't ready to date again until three years after my divorce. In fact, my friends had to drag me back to the dating pool kicking and screaming. One even sat me down at a coffee shop and wrote my bio for online dating site Match.com. Even so, it took me another six months to post good pictures and start dating.
Once I was online, I was highly discerning, deleting anyone overly suggestive, outside my geographic area, or not in my age range. In short, you need strong boundaries in this arena. I never met anyone until I was able to verify some major piece of information about them -- their last name, place of employment and the like. When I did go out, the first meeting was always just for coffee, and I told a friend where I'd be.
Here are some of the financial costs of dating:
Wardrobe: Out with the old and in with the new. My friend (the same one who wrote my bio for Match) gave me four hours with a closet organizer for my birthday. Boy, did we have fun throwing out my ponchos and pleated khaki pants.
Don't get me wrong: I dreaded having her coming over. She was a Texas oil baroness and the idea of her judging my jumpers and pleated skirts was excruciating, but I endured it. Then we met at Ann Taylor and the Gap, where I bought some new outfits and a great pair of jeans. She paired them with some blazers from my old wardrobe, and we were of to the races.
Internet dating sites: Please be ready for this undertaking and have some strong and clear criteria. Be prepared to delete about 95 percent of the men that contact you and look for inappropriate partners. After all, you have learned something from your divorce, right? I joined three sites: SingleParentMatch.com, Match.com and Eharmony. Today I'm only on one site.
Childcare: You need a safe, consistent child care provider. If you have family great. I often hire a great babysitter and invite one of the children's friends over for dinner and a movie. With a buddy to keep them company, my children don't miss me as much. In fact, they love it.
Your date should pay the first few dates in a traditional situation. If there is still chemistry after six dates and he seems like a safe and healthy partner you might pick up a movie or pack a picnic for a hike.
The total expenditure could range from $500 to $3,000 but it's worth budgeting for. Enjoy!
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