5 Financial Actions to Take Before You Even Think About Divorce

5 Financial Actions to Take Before You Even Think About Divorce

Posted to by Lili Vasileff on Tue, 10/06/2009 - 7:08pm

Divorce is a complicated process emotionally, legally, and financially. Thoughtful planning and patience, however, can make your decision to divorce — and the process itself — smoother.

Planning should begin from the moment you have a single notion about getting a divorce. Trust your instincts that divorce may be in the cards and begin to plan logically while you still can. Take note, for example, that much of the business of private investigators comes from spouses engaged in pre-divorce planning. Savvy divorce lawyers tell prospective clients to find out as much as possible — as early as possible — before the papers are even served. Divorce lawyers Steven Fuchs and Sharon Sooho advise women to "win" the divorce battle with the ancient Chinese tactics of strategic planning, stealth, and deception.

So put an end to your natural inclination to be a "good girl" who only wants "what is rightly mine, fair and reasonable" — because you may be in for a big surprise. Men are used to planning, and preparing for battle is the key to winning. Don't lose your divorce because you enter unprepared. Plan for your divorce and learn what is needed to get the best possible divorce outcome.

Here are five critical financial actions you should take before you even think about divorce:

1. Make copies of all financial records and statements; compile your list of assets and debts. Know where your money is and what you owe. Make a list of all institution names, account numbers, title on accounts, balances, credit lines, interest rates, type of investments, etc. Knowing exactly what is at stake financially will alleviate surprise, hasten discovery, and avoid delays later on. Find a safe place to store everything confidentially.

2. Obtain a credit report on yourself and your spouse. Do you have access to credit in your name alone? If not, establish credit in your name alone. Open your own credit card and a bank account. Determine what financial resources you have access to in order to budget for divorce.

3. If you know that divorce is in your future, you should do all you can to decrease liabilities, such as paying down joint debts, the mortgage, and home equity line of credit. Not only do you relieve your marital stress with reduced debt in the short term, but you increase your access to available credit in the future should you need it during the divorce.

4. Make sure you have enough money set aside for at least three months of daily expenses (especially for house payments if your spouse leaves you), and/or for hiring an attorney. Know what it takes to live on, how much is available to you, and how you might have to adjust your lifestyle to make sure you survive financially.

5. Talk to a divorce financial planner who can educate you about the basics of money; explain the concepts of child support, maintenance, and property division in divorce; help you advocate for your needs with your lawyer; and help prepare tactical strategies for litigation, mediation, or settlement. Most importantly, a divorce financial planner can help you plan for financial independence and peace of mind.

Set up a starting position to create a favorable settlement. Build your skills in the financial arena and negotiate from a position of empowerment. Ensure your financial success with a divorce financial planning expert on your team and pave the way for your transition with confidence and knowledge.

 

Related content:

How Much Is This Divorce Going To Cost Me?, by certified divorce financial planner, Lili Vasileff

Don't Get Even, Get Smart — a video interview with financial expert, Maryann Kelly, explaining the importantce of keeping your cool, understanding your assets, and keys to a smart negotiation.

Click the following to return to the directory for Your Finances and Divorce.

Comments

Divorce

My brother is going through a divorce right now with his wife of 7 years. He is currently paying child support on his two daughters by this wife. He is also looking into taking his wife off of his atlas group insurance plan. He says she should get her own plan.

help

what do I do first? want to get a divorce after 22 years - but have been a stay-at-home mom nearly all that time, what can I expect form the court in regards to what "he" has to give me? I'm trying so hard to find employment - but money is the only thing keeping me here. I want out now!

Divorce possibility and liver cancer

I have been married to my husband for 33 yrs. In that time our marriage has never been great. We have fought off and on for that entire 33 yrs about anything and everything. We do love each other.....we both agree with that fact....and that is about all we agree on. I was diagnosed 4 yrs ago with vascular liver cancer. He has been there for me the entire time. But....we still argue and fight. I am so tired of it I could scream. I'm worn out from it quite honestly. I want peace...but I don't know how to get it in this marriage....other than getting a divorce to get away from him. Problem is, I don't know if I could survive financially . I get a disability check each month, and that is my only source of money. If I divorce, I wouldn't have health insurance , and having cancer, I need it more than ever. As far as him having to pay me alimony, I'm not sure if I would even get anything. As you can see, I am really torn and uneducated on this topic. I need advice from anyone out there that is willing to advise. Thank you ~

Love him

In my opinion you should try to love him not divorce. Have you made sincere effort to love him and make him feel good. Guys are soft hearted. Try it.

Is it only me?

I think I am facing a divorce after 25 years, my husband has been abusive towards me verbal and emotional. (he does not think so, he fells he is a stand up man and I hold onto the past issues which keep us trapped in a bad marriage) The way I started to deal with it about 9 yrs ago was to sleep ( I could not do anything right anyways ( cooking, laundry , taking care of or son, do not know how to talk publicly the list goes on) He denies it all and blames I am too sensitve and just want to ba a victim). 3 months ago he pulled me to the ground during an argument. I told him before we were married if there was any physical abuse I would leave him ( my dad beat my mom and I knew I could not live that way). I asked for a divorce he is now telling me he will not be punished for 1 incident in 25 years..............I can't think straight ( I feel I might fail going out on my own). I do go to counselling, am on a antidepresant and antanxiety . I feel strong while talking to my counselor or friends that I can make it on my , but get sooooo weak when I talk to him ......................................ADVICE PLEASE

Need a good plan before I file for divorce

I have been married for 13 yrs and have 3 boys in these 13 yrs I have been verbal abused and physically abused. Three years ago my husband was diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder. This answered alot of questions and I chose to stand by him knowing that he would be taking the proper medication. The medication made him feel like a zombie he stopped interacting with the children and became very dependent on me for every thing on top of that I worked a full time job and my children also depended on me. I was under alot of stress and to make things worst he became addicted to cocaine and this really but a strain on our marriage and our finances. He became violent with me and the kids. I have left him three times and have come back this last time to make sure we do not lose our home and with intentions for filing for divorce once we got everything settled with the mortgage company. I quit my job because of one of my children acting out on all of this craziness and not being able to make it to work on time. I am planning to find another job soon. I'm waiting for my retirement distribution check so I can hire a lawyer and get the ball rolling but on top of that I have a lot of signature loans, car loan, and personal loans that ar piling up I am not sure if filing for bankrupcy would be a good idea although it would relieve alot of stress. Right now I am able to have control of all the money but after the divorce it will be just child support and my income once i start working.

Divorce Advice needed

Hi I am in an extremely unhappy marraige and have decided after many many years of depression and 3 failed suicide attempts, that its time I left him. I have a aproblem tho. I have been a stay at home mum, and have been supporting my husband becoming self employed living factory work to build a business. He now earns twice per week what he was earning. I have been suffering with devere deprassion for many years and am under my GP, have been reffered to an Neurologist as it s supected I have MS. I have had sever depression sinced Ihad my last son, have had two emotional breakdowns and have sepent 6 weeks in hospital folllwing my wanting to take my life. y husband has not been emotionally supportive ever, since I fell ill and had resented my needing any help. We are now divorcing and I have no idea what to do as am waiting for treatment options etc and it loooks as tho I probablyw ill never work again as I am becoming more and more disabled as time goes by. The mental abuse is not obvious, but he knows he is doing it as he understands how I feel about stigma and he knows how hurt I feel that others have judged me for not being able to work. He says he will not be paying any maintenance to me for me, and that he will provide for the kids how he sees fit. He has left the home, and has no intention of paying any bills. I am now going to get into so much debt as there is no way i can work and I cant live on family allowance and tax credit of 130 per week..... What are my rights, can I take a legal order oujt on him to ensure he maintains the family home until our divorce is settled or do I have to go into debt, having been supported by him our entire marraige, I want to work and am crying now as I write this, but I have been so intimidated by his arrogance, and silent bullying. He shows no remorse or emotion and never has done, he hurts me by neglecting my emotional needs and has done ever since my first son was born. I have felt like a baby making machine, who has been cast asisde now I cant cope and wont be able to work. He has no interest in my mental health. I have been suffering for so long and he finds it bemusing. he uses it against me at any opportunity. Today he told me that if I think he is gonna support me while I sit here all day, living a life of riley then I can forget it. I have no life, I am so ill and I go nowhere without it being massive for me. The last night I had out was December 8th 2010, before that it was November 2009! I live with mental misery and just want to get back up on my feet and be well again! What wiloll I do. and do I have any rights?

Sharon, I feel for you

Sharon, I feel for you deeply. I can understand to some extent what you are going through and it must be extremely tough. I don't have any legal advice for you but I do want you to know that someone is thinking of you during this time. Like I said I feel for you but please know that you can pull out of this and you are stronger than you think. All you need is legal advice to help you figure out what exactly your rights are and what you can do. Right now that is important and I hope that you get that from an expert. Again please know that I am thinking of you and hang in there!!! You can do it!!! Take care.

Husband wants his name off morgtage-

I have been supporting my husband for three years. He is on disability. He now wants a divorce and wants his name off of the mortgage- we are upside down. This is a recent developement since the economy has had an effect on my employement. I have so many decisions to make, I am hurt and overwhelmed.

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