Tough Times For Divorcing Dads

Tough Times For Divorcing Dads

I read a rather stirring column in Canada's National Post the other day about the difficulty many Canadian men face in their nation's legal system when it comes to child custody cases. Ironically, the piece was written by a woman, but she boldly and rather forcefully makes the point that men frequently get the short end of the stick in these cases.

She says there are statistics that back up her claim that there is a gender bias in the way the courts handle these situations, though she never cites the numbers. Still, her argument has merit on a number of levels. First and foremost, if a man is an attentive father to his children, nobody should keep him from them — especially not a court system.

Beyond that, I think the writer raises a valid concern about men being labeled as bad fathers simply because the courts more frequently award custody to mothers. Obviously, there are some guys who fit into that category, but it would be easy to paint a lot of men with that brush, and it's not fair.

Now, I'm not going to attack feminism, as the writer does. She gets upset at the notion that men who lose custody cases are dubbed "losers," so how is it any better to make a blanket statement blaming women for the problem? I just think cooler heads and common sense need to prevail when a family splits up.

As we've written here before, you're divorcing each other, not your kids. If your ex is an ass and doesn't demonstrate that he cares about the kids, that's one thing. Bury him in court. But if he's always been there for the kids and he's trying to make post-divorce life work as best he can, that should count. A lot. Don't forget that your kids need both of you.