Guys use sex to reduce the increased pressure in their lives. With the Dow dipping, no prob if they were turning to wives and girlfriends. But according to a New York Daily News story, they’re down and getting down with sources of gratification that are potential trouble — with a capital T.

On lunch hours they are visiting massage parlors. They are hiring prostitutes. They are going to strip clubs after work. And they are indulging in Internet porn, sometimes at their office computers… and getting caught. They are becoming addicted to sex to relieve their stress.

In a tight job market, this is not an appealing thing to have in one’s file. Most of the men, by the way, are married.

In the Daily News story, psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert reports a jump in sex-addicted men at his Manhattan practice in the past six months.

"Since early spring, maybe late winter, there's just been an increase, and I believe it might have something to do with the economy," he says. "A lot of the Wall Streeters use sex as a way to cope with stress. Bankers do tend to rely on pretty unhealthy ways of coping with stress — drugs, sex.

"A lot of them will use adult services," Alpert adds. "Some of them come right out and say, 'I'm stressed. This is how I deal with it. It's not the worst thing in the world. I'm not using drugs.' But when it starts to increase, then it's a problem."

How do these testosterone titans practice safe sex? According to Alpert, they consider going to an Asian massage parlor to be permissible. To some, as long as they don’t go all the way, being masturbated doesn’t count as cheating.

read more »

Warren Buffett, the world's richest man, admits he made a poor choice. No, not that he didn't invest more in Google than Microsoft, but that he didn't work harder on his relationship with his late wife, Susie, the mother of his three children.

"The biggest mistake I ever made was letting her walk out the door," he says.

As with many separations, Susie was driven to it.

Buffett, 78, who spent hours and hours talking with the author Alice Schroeder for the book The Snowball, regrets that he gave Susie so many reasons to leave, say Rush & Molloy in The Daily News.

One was Katharine Graham, publisher of The Washington Post, and Newsweek. Buffett was 46 when Graham, then a 59-year-old widow, became smitten with him. They spent time at her Martha’s Vineyard home and traveled widely.

What is surprising is that Graham's own marriage was ruined by her husband’s infidelity. And who knew before this book that Katharine Graham was one of the early cougars? (While we at FWW approve of dating someone who's fabulously younger and cute, it is verboten to date a married man no matter what his age.)

Graham, it turns out, was pretty open about the affair with Buffett, and was seen tossing her house key to Buffet at parties. Schroeder writes that Susie "made it plain to several friends that she was furious and humiliated," but reports that she sent Graham a letter granting her permission to date her husband.

"Kay showed the letter to people as though it let her off the hook," Schroeder says.

Naturally the humiliation at home marinated into resentment.

read more »

The Washington Post recently reported on Japan's declining marriage rate. Short story: Men are looking to wives to take over maternal roles, and that scenario isn't very appealing to most single Japanese women:

"There is the rarely stated but almost universal expectation of Japanese men to be fed, clothed and picked up after. 'I am willing to take care of and give comfort to a man whom I care about, but that does not mean I want to be his mother,' she said."

In fact, WaPost found that women who had married were less likely than their male counterparts to remarry after divorce. The article states that post-divorce, men are unhappy and remarry quickly, while "the women are relatively happy and often delay remarriage." Perhaps it's the "burn me once" theory?

In addition to the lack of women looking to take on the mommy role, a stalled economy and a posh home life are keeping adult children in their parents' homes. A Calgary Herald piece from early August reported that Japanese parents — fed up with housing, feeding, and taking care of their single adult children — were taking matters into their own hands and organizing events exclusively for parents to find mates for their children.

"A government report from 2005 showed 71.5 percent of men aged 25 to 29 were unmarried, compared with 47.1 percent in 1990. For women, 32 percent from 30 to 34 years of age were single, compared with half that number in 1990."

read more »

Phil Collins isn’t having Another Day in Paradise this week, because he will be paying his third wife, Swiss-born Orianne Cevey, around $47 million in their divorce case, the largest payout ever by a British entertainer.

But at least the 57-year-old singer-songwriter has had a Groovy Kind of Love in the past few years with WCBS-TV anchorwoman Dana Tyler, a divorced woman, 49, who at least is closer to his age.

The two met when Tyler interviewed him in 2005 and they realized there was something In the Air Tonight.

Cevey acknowledged in a later interview that the couple had grown apart in 2005, and were leading Separate Lives. “We really got on well and then we realized our interests were not the same anymore,” said Cevey, 35, who met the singer when she was 22.

But she says, he will always Be in My Heart since she is looking on the “positive side.”

He has agreed that That’s Just the Way It Is, and, frankly, I Don’t Care Anymore.

Collins will keep a home in near Lake Geneva, in Switzerland, near their two young sons, Nicolas, 8, and Matthew, 4, as well as a bachelor pad in New York and a home in England.

But this is shaping up to be a far more amicable divorce than his previous two. Maybe he has learned from experience.

To end his relationship with his second wife, Jill Taverman, after he met Orianne, Collins gave her the heave-ho via fax. Apparently he couldn’t wait One More Night.

(The fax maneuver was worthy of the Artful Dodger.)

However, he still was generous in his divorce settlement, which at the time was more than $34 million for a 14 year relationship. They had a daughter, Lily, together.

Collins also had an earlier marriage to Andrea Bertorelli, which ended in 1980, and produced two children, Simon, 28, and Joelyi, 33.

read more »

It seems like every week we report on a new country experiencing an upswing in divorce, and India is no different. I read an eye-opening piece the other day about the rise of Indian divorce, and some of the possible causes.

The article basically said that three things are at the root of the Indian divorce boom. One, couples have more money, making them less dependent on their families for support. Two, women are becoming more economically self-sufficient than ever before, making them less dependent on their husbands. Three, and probably most notably, Western influence has become more ingrained in Indian culture, making the traditional Indian marriage not good enough anymore.

Couples want love, instead of just family-sanctioned baby-making. It seems Indian couples are in a real catch-22. The only way they can break free from traditional cultural norms is to distance themselves from their parents and extended families. If they do that, however, they lose the support structure that is inherent within that way of life. While it's easy to look at a rise in divorce as a bad thing, I think it rarely means that more marriages are failing. It means that just as many marriages are failing, but now the parties involved are empowered enough to do something about it.

The piece referenced one woman, Christina, who ran home to her family because her new husband was beating her and kicking her out of the house in the middle of the night. Her parents' first reaction was the old-style one -- they sent her home and told her to make it work. Later, Christina found out that her husband was gay, and went back to her parents. This time, they welcomed her back, understanding that the marriage wasn't going to work.

read more »

When we last heard from pro golf great Greg Norman, he was squabbling with his ex-wife over their multimillions while he was running around with former tennis star Chris Evert, who also broke up with her husband.

Well, it seems Norman and Evert are more than just a rebound fling for one another. Word came yesterday that wedding bells are going to be ringing soon. The sports power couple has gotten engaged.

Considering the legal wrangling he's been through with his ex-wife, you have to figure Norman is going to have his attorney draw up the mother of all prenups. Color me cynical, but do these celebrity couples ever really survive?

Click here for more.

Wouldn't you hate it if things said behind closed doors were suddenly made public?

Former New York Stock Exchange chairman Dick Grasso might be sweating a little. A new book discussing Grasso's time on the NYSE reveals that he was questioned about having an extramarital affair and fathering a child with his supposed mistress.

In 2004, then-State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer filed a suit against Grasso seeking to reclaim over half of the money he made during his eight years as chairman. Mr. Grasso was paid around $190 million dollars, which Spitzer contends is a violation of state laws governing not-for-profit organizations.

Most of the testimony was released to the public already, but this particular interview was kept under wraps until now. Grasso was interrogated about a woman named Karen Ross, a childhood friend of his.

The personal nature of the questions stemmed from emails that Spitzer seemed to think were indicative of an affair. Whether the alleged affair is current or past wasn't specified. Apparently, Grasso paid part of Ms. Ross's daughter's college tuition, and Spitzer asked him point blank if the child were related to him in some way. The only way she could be is if he had fathered her.

Grasso never lost his cool, but his attorney fired back that the subject matter being discussed wasn't related at all to the case and it was private information. The question was asked again and Grasso simply replied, "No."

Admittedly, this doesn't make Grasso look nearly as bad as the Attorney General's office, but still — if I were Mrs. Grasso, I might be checking out his emails just in case.

Click here for more.

You've heard of the prenup, now comes another oh-so-romantic tool that appears designed for well-heeled, bold-faced names: Welcome, if you will, the postnup. Nothing screams "love" and romance like spelling out the terms of your divorce before you're even married, or while you're still supposedly happily married.

Actually, postnups are mostly used in situations where the marriage is falling apart anyway, according to a piece in Portfolio, a magazine for the kind of high-powered folks who typically pursue prenups and are candidates for the rather newish postnups. The article says 49 percent of the members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported an increase in postnups over the last five years.

The key issue that postnuptial agreements seek to settle involves wealth that one spouse accrues during the marriage and whether it should be considered marital property when assets are split.

You could look at prenups and postnups as a way for people to protect themselves. But it's awfully hard not to view anyone who would pursue one of these agreements as incredibly cynical. If you're so worried about protecting your assets, maybe you shouldn't get married in the first place. And don't tell me it's not that simple. I think it is.

I guess it's just hard for me to view things from the mindset of someone who has that much to protect. "Regular" people—as in everyone I know, aren't in the same ocean with this sort of thing. I'm reminded of the "Seinfeld" episode where George, desperate to break off his engagement to Susan, asks her for a prenup. Jobless, bumbling George wanted a prenup. Susan laughed in his face and told him, "sure, bring it on, I'll sign it." Don't know about you, but that's the world I'm used to.

Click here for more.

What’s the deal with these Hollywood May-December marriages?

The latest word from the entertainment capital of the world is that Viacom Chairman Sumner Redstone wants out of his marriage. It’s a second marriage for the 84-year-old Redstone. His current wife, Paula Fortunato, is a 44-year old school teacher.

Unnamed sources say Redstone has been unhappy in the marriage for some time and that he asked Fortunato to leave their house. According to sources, the couple’s prenuptial agreement stipulates that she only gets $1 million if they divorce. Fortunato, you may remember, helped influence Redstone to end Tom Cruise’s production deal with Viacom’s Paramount Pictures after Cruise’s couch-jumping display on the Oprah Winfrey show.

I guess you can’t ever explain love, but what compels people to get married despite a 40-year age difference? Those rich, powerful Hollywood moguls — they really do get whatever they want, don’t they?

Click here for more.

I just read a piece by a couple's financial advisor who wrote about the psychological and economic impact of divorce. After listing reasons why divorce is so expensive, emotionally and financially, he advised couples to "avoid divorce at all costs." I don't agree.

This suggestion may have merit in some splits, but not in all cases. Married people agree that marriages and relationships change, precluding the bliss of courtship days. He believes that problem marriages can survive with dedicated effort and good counseling. Perhaps some marriages can be saved but say you're married to a drug or alcohol abuser, those tendencies may never be changed. Anger management classes can improve physically abusive behavior, but in some cases women and children must escape that environment.

Couples that see divorce as their best recourse will realize that the cost of the procedure almost matches the emotional anguish. Why does divorce cost so much?

Marriage is an economic partnership which requires complicated steps to undo. Two households must be maintained along with the attendant household expenses. Attorneys fees, appraisals, if there is real estate, the splitting of investments and court costs add up. An assessment of the income and earning capacities of each party must be made. Child support, day care, health and educational expenses must be allocated to each party. Neither party walks away unscathed.

The sad thing is that divorce leaves women and their children more economically disadvantaged than men. No matter how you slice the pie, I have found that women and children usually end up with the smallest slice. Women and children can be extremely economically dependent upon men.

Saving a marriage is one route and divorce may be the ultimate step, regardless of economic consequences. What do you think?
read more »