Psychology Today blogger Dr. Stephen T. Sinatra tipped us off to a recent study on the effects of marriage and heart health. Turns out, staying in an unhealthy relationship can do more than damage your psyche: It can calcify your arteries. Says Sinatra:

Married people experience less cardiovascular disease than single people, however, a bad marriage can be disastrous to the heart.

Researchers studied married couples' communication styles while also tracking their heart health, concluding that women who experienced severe hostility during marital disputes had the highest level of calcification. Husbands who exhibited the most controlling behavior during marital disputes had the highest of all men in the study.

What's happening? The body is producing stress chemicals, and the angrier or more controlling you are, the more your arteries suffer.

I'm thinking a new slogan here: "Divorce: It does a body good."

Along with qualities like “devoted,” “adventurous,” “successful,” and “cute,” the checklist of women deciding what they want in a man may now include “the fidelity gene.”

A study by a behavioral geneticist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockhom confirmed what we already knew — when it comes to monogamy, it’s not about us, it’s about them.

Some guys, well, can't help themselves. You can blame the genes when he can't keep it in his jeans.

The gene in question controls the number and location of vasopressin receptors in the brain. Vasopressin is a hormone secreted during sexual activity that increases the likelihood of pair bonding.

One allele, or alternate form of a gene, and there are fewer vasopressin receptors. Two alleles and there are way fewer vasopressin receptors.

As The Washington Post reported, the finding is striking because it not only links the gene variant — present in two out of five men — with the risk of marital discord and divorce, but also appears to predict whether women involved with these men say their partners are emotionally close and available, or distant and disagreeable.

The presence of the allele also seems predictive of whether men get married or live with women without getting married.

"Men with two copies of the allele had twice the risk of experiencing marital dysfunction, with a threat of divorce during the last year, compared to men carrying one or no copies," said Hasse Walum, a behavioral geneticist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, who led the study. "Women married to men with one or two copies of the allele scored lower on average on how satisfied they were with the relationship compared to women married to men with no copies."

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Losing a job often means a spouse can’t afford to pay a divorce settlement. When Steven became Susan Stanton at age 48 after a sex-change operation, the Largo Florida City Commission fired Steven/Susan from his/her job as city manager — a job that paid $157,000.

The grounds: after 20 years on the job, and just when he decided to become a woman, they lost trust in him/her, and felt he/she was no longer leadership material.

That left Donna Stanton, the wife of the new Susan Stanton, in a quandary when they tried to figure out equitable distribution.

According to a story in “The Tampa Tribune” by reporter Stephen Thompson, and court documents, Steven/Susan Stanton amicably mediated his divorce from his wife of 18 years. The wife, Donna, would get $4,756 in alimony and an additional $799 a month in child support for their 15 year old son. Their marriage lasted 17 years.

Because Steven/Susan no longer has a job, he/she offered Donna Stanton a lump sum of $50,000 from his/her retirement account to cover the roughly first ten months of alimony.

That would make him current through December.

But — and here's the kicker — according to the settlement, if Steven/Susan doesn't get a job by then, even though he/now/she has applied for 100 city manager jobs, Donna Stanton is entitled to more from the retirement account.

One good thing: sex change and broken marriages make for great movies, or at least they did in 2003, when Tom Wilkinson starred with Jessica Lange in the highly-regarded television drama “Normal,” about a man who wants to become a woman after 25 years of marriage and two children.

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A new sleep study reports that women in unhappy marriages suffer from more sleep problems than those in happy unions, and sleep problems, in turn, lead to other health issues. This is the first study to track marital satisfaction and sleep. Unfortunately, divorced women are prone to sleep issues, as well. Not getting the most out of your eight hours? Check out a directory sleep clinics.

The magic little pill may spell trouble. According to a June 2008 report, a Harvard Medical School study said Viagra may add to marital stress. A couple used to dutifully kiss and go to sleep. Now he's popping pills, looking to reclaim his sexuality. Some wives may say Hallelujah, others may feel ambushed into re-creating his sexual fantasies. And all that while the laundry needs to be done.

Then there's another possibility. The study doesn't say it, but it's also possible he's met someone new, someone young and frisky. That's why he's taking Viagra.

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I ran across an interesting article the other day. A young couple married, lived together, had a child in their seven-year relationship and got divorced. I know. There's nothing earth shattering about that. Keep reading.

It was a same-sex couple, except one of the two didn't know it.

Jennifer Jack married Andrew Mireles at 16. They parted ways after one child and seven years. Jack decided to flip through a high school yearbook one day, and she found a picture of her ex-husband, Andrew - or should I say, Phyllis?

Phyllis Mireles changed "gender" at some time in her life, taking on the name Andrew. No sex change, no funky surgery, and all the equipment was perfectly female, reports Fox News. Mireles claims Jack knew of Mireles' true gender all along — and I'm having trouble swallowing that Jack states otherwise.

It seems a judge is swallowing Jack's shocked disbelief - he's allowing an annulment.

I must be missing something. I mean, seven years, people. And a child. It's pretty tough to hide that you don't have a penis for that long. The courts buy this?

Mireles now finds himself in a custody battle for his (her?) kids. Jack's attorney states that Mireles is "a convicted felon and has some indiscretions that would put him back in jail if his probation was revoked."

I'm wondering where this came from? Were these issues before Mireles was outed from the proverbial closet? Was Mireles a bad person with his kids? Is this just some scheme to get back at him for being cross gender?

And what about Jack? Why the horrified reaction now? Is Jack embarrassed that she lived with a woman and now wants to protect her self-identity through revenge?

Remember — seven years, one child. And Jack didn't know her husband was a she? Yeah. Right.

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With Valentine's Day coming up, every form of media is full of images of people getting engaged or married and the jewelry stores are obviously doing big business. But for the large segment of the population that is divorced, it's an entirely different thought process when it comes to wedding and engagement rings. The San Francisco Chronicle ran an interesting story on Friday about the question of what should happen to your rings once your marriage is over.

The accepted protocol on engagement rings seems to be that you get to keep it. Legally, it's not considered part of the marital assets because it was a gift given to you before you were married. And aside from that, a guy would have to really be a greedy bastard to ask to have it back. I can see a guy doing that, though, if the ring was a family heirloom. I think I'd have a hard time holding on to the engagement ring if it had belonged to my ex's grandmother, or something like that.

The wedding rings are a whole different story. Some people attach a lot of emotional meaning to them and choose not to part with them. Some people have them melted down and made into other pieces of jewelry. Some women sell both the wedding and engagement rings to pay for lawyers. One man quoted in the story said his wife sold her rings so she could get a boob job.

I think it's all a matter of personal preference. And it's probably a function of how amicable the breakup is, too. If it was angry and bitter, you might be more inclined to get rid of the rings, along with everything else in your house that had anything to do with the guy. One woman said she wanted both of the wedding rings to be kept together after her divorce, just because it seemed to her like the right thing to do. Her ex didn't see it that way, so it didn't happen.

So let's hear from all of you. What happened to your rings?

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It seems like it just gets worse and worse in Afghanistan.

In what seems to be a not-very-uncommon tragedy, an Afghan woman set herself on fire outside a courthouse in Mehtaralam. A judge had just chastised her for seeking a divorce, and without much else to do instead, she doused herself in gasoline that she'd smuggled into the courthouse under her burka and set herself on fire.

The international press knows little about the details of the incident, except for the woman's first name — Pakhtana — and that she's 25. Back in December, we wrote about a similar case with a girl going through a divorce at the age of 11.

While Afghanistan has officially lossened the rules for women in the post-Taliban era, tragedies like this are occurring almost daily. It is so common in that part of the world that incidents like this one are barely making the papers.

I have to wonder — are these women doing this because they want to die? Or is it like the ever-increasing trend of cutting and self-mutilation that takes place among young women in the West? Experts say that the victims of this type of self-abuse do it not as a suicide attempt, but because the pain is so great on the inside that any kind of physical expression of it is a relief.

Pakhtana is in a local hospital, recovering from her injuries.

It looks like when Amy Winehouse's incarcerated hubby threatened divorce, he thought it was the only way he could make her see reason. Both Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy's mother believe that she is flirting with overdose and may have only months to live.

"I've already come to terms with her dead," says her mother, Janis. "I've steeled myself to ask her what ground she wants to be buried in, which cemetery. Because the drugs will get her if she stays on this road. She's invited me to the Grammy awards next month, but part of me thinks she won't be alive by then."

Recent TV stories have shown grainy video footage of Amy lighting and smoking a crack pipe, and everyone around her is worried. It looks like Blake's pleas have worked in the short-term, at least, and Amy checked herself into rehab on Saturday.

"Every day I fear the prison chaplain is going to walk into my cell and break the news that Amy is dead," says Fielder. He has given up drugs for good, and wants her to do the same. He says he wants them to grow old together and sees no possibility for that while she's still spending $1000 a day on cocaine.

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The public turnaround of Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, is an inspiration to divorced women everywhere. Where our own marriage and personal failings and mistakes are embarrassing in front of our families, friends, and maybe the readers of our blogs, Fergie's have been published everywhere. Yes, splitting up with my husband was difficult, but not as difficult as waking up to find you've been renamed The Duchess of Pork by the entire British press.

No wonder she gained so much weight.

Fergie gave a talk in California on Monday night as part of their Distinguished Speakers program and talked about her divorce, her kids, her weight issues — the whole gamut. "My only friend was food," she said. "My pet ponies and food got me through."

She went on to explain that she and Prince Andrew still share a home together, where they raise their daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, although they have no plans to reconcile. It's simply a convenient and secure environment in which to raise their daughters. "I still do love my handsome prince, but it just works better for us this way to keep things the way they are."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were all that well adjusted?

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