It seems like everybody has got a piece of advice for Silda Spitzer, but I found the advice given by New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams to be shocking.

In an article titled "Stay With Shpritzer, Smart Lady," Cindy Adams said (among other things):

"I want to tell her — so what. She may not longer be New York's first lady, but a husband hooking up with a hooker is not reason enough to no longer be a married lady."

and

"Sex, a primal need, outpoints fear, hunger and love as mankind's No. 1 driving force. Unless you're a pig or a monk, many an able-bodied — and I use that term deliberately — 48-year-old husband of 21 years has grazed. I'm not advocating it. I'm merely saying, so what? It's like takeout food. Less work for mother."

and then added

"Paying a pro isn't disrespect to his wife."

Whoa. I completely disagree. I think that "a husband hooking up with a hooker" is not only enough of a reason, but a fabulous reason to no longer be a married lady. In my book, and I think that a lot of women will agree with me here, it's grounds for instant divorce, no discussions.

And what's with the "so what" attitude? This is a big deal. Infidelity is heartbreaking. I can't believe she is making it seem so trivial. Then comparing hiring a hooker to takeout food?! You know, a lot of married women enjoy having sex. I did. In fact, I don't think I know any who don't. Besides, has anyone here ever spent $80,000 on takeout food?

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The rate of divorce among those in the armed forces held steady last year at 3.3 percent, which is leaving some wondering whether the figure — which was reported by the Pentagon — is an accurate one.

Consider for a moment the amount of stress that having a spouse in the military, on active duty, can put on a marriage, especially if there are children involved, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if at least half of them divorced. So, why aren't they?

One Army spokesman, Paul Boyce, credits the military's "strong programs ... and a sense of real teamwork among the families," for the fairly low divorce rate.

For example, the Marines have offered workshops to teach couples to manage conflict, solve problems, and communicate better, and the Navy started a similar program.

The Army has started paying for what it calls its "Family Covenant," a broad initiative of services and facilities to improve the quality of life for military families nationwide and overseas. It includes improving health care, schools, housing, and child care to relieve stress on spouses.

Army chaplains have trained some 60,000 active duty and reservists in the "Strong Bonds" program for strengthening personal relationships. Troops also get mental-health training in a program called "Battlemind" that teaches about common problems to expect at home as troops readjust to domestic life.

Still, the numbers tracked do not speak of marriages that are in trouble or falling apart, just those that have ended. In 2006 troops were given a mental health survey, 20 percent of those questioned said that they or their spouse were planning a divorce, compared with 15 percent in 2005.

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Leave it to Dr. Drew to get this whole Britney Spears thing figured out.

Drew Pinsky — the guy who hosted "Loveline" on MTV and who now hosts "Celebrity Rehab" on VH1 — was quoted recently by US Magazine saying that Britney's emotional and addiction problems and her divorce simply were unavoidable. He says that having a parent with an addiction — which Britney does — puts you at a significant risk of developing a similar problem. And the fact that Britney had an unstable home life as a child goes a long way toward explaining what we've seen from her in the last couple of years.

Of course, Dr. Drew may just be angling to get the pop princess booked onto "Celebrity Rehab." Tell me that doesn't scream ratings bonanza. Who needs Hollywood writers when there's Britney and cheaply made low-brow reality programming?

In all seriousness, the guy does give a lot of insightful answers and it's worth reading through the Q & A he did with US Magazine. One of the big points you take away from what he says is that when parents have a messy relationship, there's a really good chance the kids are going to struggle emotionally, both in the short term and in the long term. If you have kids and your marriage is ending, at a certain point you have prioritize their well-being.

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Sometimes you read a story about a family in crisis and it gives you more than a little perspective. Everyone has pain and suffering and frustration during a divorce. But there's a family in England that is living a nightmare.

Angela Cannings was in custody for four years for allegedly murdering two infant sons. She was eventually freed four years ago when a court determined that SIDS was to blame for the deaths. As if that's not bad enough, she also lost another child to SIDS. Upon being released from jail, it seems Cannings and her husband tried to start rebuilding their life. But last year, she left for a "fresh start." The two have shared custody of their only surviving child, but now Cannings is seeking a divorce and full custody of the child.

I barely know where to begin talking about this story. There is no answer. This family has been ripped apart on multiple levels. They have lost three children. Their surviving daughter spent four years without a mother. And now, on top of everything else, they're having to navigate a divorce. I guess in a strange, cruel way the divorce is the least of their concerns after everything that's happened. But I don't mean to be callous about it. This is a family that's been through unspeakable pain. Here's hoping the three of them — mother, father and daughter — can find some help and some peace.

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We've written more than once on First Wives World about the traumatic effects that divorce has on children. Many readers and writers here have experienced for themselves the dramatic changes in their kids' behavior, school performance and relationships.

On the other hand, many men and women who have gone through a divorce themselves have struggled to find ways to cope and even thrive in the post-divorce period. Marvin Gaye wrote an album about it. Anastasia Royal wrote a novel. And Libby Rees wrote a self-help book — when she was 10.

"Help, Hope & Happiness" was a "runaway success," offering advice and encouragement to children going through their parents' divorce. When Libby was going through it herself — her parents divorced five years ago — she said that she received a lot of support from the adults in her life. The problem was, she — and others like her — feel that parents and other adults are just telling children what they want to hear. She felt there was a huge gap in information for children old enough to understand what was going on, but still too young to really know how to handle it.

Turns out, she was right. Her book has been translated into five languages, and she's taking part in a television series based on the information she gives.

So what did she do to get through the hard times? "One of the first things I did was go for walks to help me think more clearly. I would pick up a stick, label it with whatever was worrying me that day, then fling it away. It was my way of distancing myself from it."

It's good to get a little common-sense advice during a crazy time. As we've written before, a lot of marriages break up during this time of year. And a piece I read in the Washington Post did a nice job of summing up a few things to think about if it happens to you. The writer talked to five divorce experts (three men, two women, four of them divorced) and offered up a few tips that I thought were worthwhile.

Get counseling. Don't rush into a lawyer's office or be in a hurry to file paperwork. First go talk to someone. Ideally, you do this as a couple, but I think it would be valuable to do on your own if you feel like your marriage is falling apart and you need to talk it out.

Be careful about the tone. This one is hard. If you're initiating a conversation to end your marriage, there's no easy way to do it. Maybe the holiday season isn't the best time to have that talk. But when you do, you need to try to be as calm as possible. Sure, you may end up shouting at each other. But eventually, you're going to need to sit and have a real conversation about it.

Give each other time. This one is important if you're the one who initiates. You've already made your decision, but he hasn't. And even if he realizes you're right, he will probably still need time to digest it.

Stay out of court. Wow, glad to see someone besides me pushing this one. Mediation is the way to go. Dig in with lawyers and you're going to cost yourself time and money that you'll never get back.

Once again, someone is trying to make the case that divorces are prone to happen at a certain time of year. This time around it's a columnist from the Toronto Globe & Mail. She points out that many therapists say they see a rise in the number of initial consultations about divorce this time of year.

The holiday season can be stressful for a lot of families, and that stress can obviously exacerbate a marriage that is already teetering on the brink. So when the final straw comes during the holiday season it's easy to chalk it up holiday stress. But I think it goes far deeper than that.

In fact, I think the last thing you want to do is break up right around the holidays, because then you'll be left to wonder whether you overreacted to the stress of the season. The thing to remember is that even when a marriage does break up, the timing is less important than the build-up to that moment. It didn't end all at once. It took time.

And if the holidays hold special significance for you, there's a risk of permanently changing the way you experience them. The writer recounts the beginning of the end of her marriage, which occurred during a family Christmas vacation to Hawaii. The holidays will never quite be the same for her.

If your marriage is going to end, it's going to happen whenever it's time. I'm not sure you can truly control that. But it's no fun if it happens during what is supposed to be a festive time.

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Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

In the Czech Republic, there is a battle taking place over little Tereza. Young Tereza is 10 and her parents have been fighting for her custody for eight years.

The father claims that the mother is poisoning Tereza's mind against him, and I lean to believe him. Tereza apparently has full emotional breakdowns just at the thought of seeing her Dad. The mother claims that it's because he's a stranger to the Tereza.

Now perhaps it's just me, but I think that if the mother sat down with the daughter and said, "your father is a good man and he just wants to spend time with you and get to know you as a father should", then Tereza would be good to go.

Since the parents couldn't work out a visitation schedule on their own, the judge ordered Tereza to live in a mental institution. This isn't because she's ill, but because the judge felt she needed time away from her mother. Tereza is said to be behaving very well at the institution. She's had regular visits from both her parents, but has not formed a better relationship with her father.

It's sad to me that the judge ordered the daughter to spend time in the institution when it is clearly the parents — especially the mother — who should be spending time in a mental facility. They're not looking out for the welfare of their daughter — they're acting selfish and petty. If they cared anything about Tereza they would put all their issues aside and focus on what really counts — raising a healthy, well-adjusted daughter with the mental foundation to not only function but excel in society.

What are you opinions? How do you feel about the judges decision and what would you do in this situation?

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I stumbled across a column in a small Georgia newspaper written by the president of the Georgia Family Council. Not surprisingly, he was advocating the benefits of sticking it out through the bad parts of a marriage and not getting divorced.

I always cringe when I hear about organizations like this. They have an agenda — usually a conservative political agenda that is religiously motivated — that I don’t care for. And you can start to get that vibe when you read the writer’s "strengthen the family" message. But rather than simply being critical on socio-political grounds, I think it’s wise to read what he has to say and then see if you agree or disagree with it on a point-by-point basis.

He says the National Survey of Marriage and Families reported that 77 percent of people who said their marriage went through a period where it was "not good" reported that it was "good" or "very good" five years later. We don’t know what "not good" means. But I think anyone who starts contemplating divorce would characterize their marriage as a lot worse than "not good." So right away I find the logic faulty.

He says that some couples survived their troubles through stubborn endurance. Anyone else laugh out loud at that idea? He suggests stubborn endurance can even help a marriage survive infidelity. Got news for you, mister: I don’t believe in surviving infidelity. That’s just crazy talk. I believe in kicking his cheating ass to the curb!

He says couples should be committed enough to work through their problems. I agree with that. No problem there.