Perhaps you’d like to make an appointment with a divorce lawyer for the first week in October. Forget it. The first week of October is when lawyers who specialize in separation, divorce, and custody issues will be going to Scottsdale, Arizona, to play golf.

Well, they also go to sit through a series of Mandatory Continuing Legal Education lectures. Most states require their lawyers to bundle up the spouse and rug rats and travel to some far off destination to sit through lectures and earn continuing education credits.

In some cases, MCLE points can also be earned if lawyers listen to audio CDs, or do interactive online coursework, or — old school — actually read some printed matter.

The idea is that they keep up with what’s new in their field.

So what’s new in Family Law?

The American Bar Association conference at the Camelback Inn in Scottsdale is offering the following courses for CLE credit:

• (At Least) 10 Things Every Family Lawyer Should Know about Assisted Reproductive Technology Law. Issues like who’s the mother, who’s the father, and who gets custody of the embryos.

• Retirement Benefits, Part 1 (led by a QDRO expert, as in Qualified Domestic Relations Order, the thing that gives a spouse a right to the other spouse’s pension benefits.)

• Retirement Benefits, Part II (ERISA, Employee Retirement Income Security Act, which applies to COBRA for health insurance, retirement and other benefits)

• Understanding the Sweeping Changes to the Bankruptcy Code as it Affects Divorce and Divorcing Parties (Just as it says)

• Ethical Consideration in Collaborative Law: Can I Do It? Should I Do It? Where Are the Potholes? (This one is a puzzler… lawyers are concerned that they can’t or shouldn’t do collaborative divorces… like what? What potholes? That they have to promise not to take the case to court?)

Japanese husbands may want to cry “entrapment” over the practices of a company that hires professional seducers to help unhappy wives get rid of their husbands.

In most U.S. states, you can just say sayonara to husbands who are belligerent, boorish or belching bores. But In Japan, where women’s rights are not highly valued, wives now see the value in fetching divorces by using fetching women to lure their husbands, thus giving them the necessary grounds for divorce.

The Times of London ran an excerpt from Lesley Downer’s new book, The Last Concubine, which reports the blow by blow — pardon the expression — of several of these stings. Here’s one:

“3.30 pm. Mr. A is outside a bank in a busy part of Ikebukuro, a faintly seedy area of Tokyo, waiting for his date. He beams as she teeters across the road on high heels. Kyoko, 20, is half his age. She has a mane of black hair, sloe eyes, a fetching smile and a cute giggle. Her blouse is open to reveal her cleavage and she has on a short skirt and sheer black tights. Mr. A is a bald 40-year-old salesman in a crumpled gray suit and glasses.

“Mr. A doesn’t know that a team of private investigators is recording his every move. The boss, the ebullient Mr. Tomiya, lurks behind a lamppost on the other side of the road and takes photographs as Kyoko meets Mr. A. Tomiya’s equipment includes a packet of cigarettes and a pen, both of which are actually cameras. Shimizu, a heavy-set man with a bullet head and cropped hair, carries a black bag. It contains a camera with which he films continuously through a tiny hole in the bag. A third man acts as a lookout. …

“When presented with the evidence, the embarrassed husband not only agrees to the divorce but agrees to favorable terms for the wife.”

Although the current record stands at $180 million, The Mirror is projecting a Michael Spencer, a brokerage firm executive and Tory party treasurer, and his wife's divorce could top that figure.

Spencer and wife Lorraine were married 25 year when they split late last week. He's ranked 62nd wealthiest person in Britain; she's looking at a major payout, as recent settlements have awarded as much as 50 percent to exes.

The Telegraph reported on his vast sums, ranking Spencer Britain's fifth most powerful banker:

"...he has homes in Holland Park, New York, and Suffolk, a large private wine cellar and an extensive art collection. For his 50th birthday, he threw a $2.75 million party near St Tropez, with live music from Robbie Williams."

Yes, pop star Robbie Williams, who played one hour of his greatest hits for a mere $1 million.

Just as Spencer indulges, he also knows how to hand over the cash to just causes. His brokerage firm, ICAP, which he founded in 1986, rings in the holidays every year with Charity Day. Traders compete to raise the most money, donating all profits to organizations of their choice. Last year's total: $12 milion.

Get ready for a hefty settlement. Looks like Charity Day might come twice this year...

Photo: thisismoney.co.uk

If your sister was emotionally battered by a bitter divorce and custody battle and you became your ex-brother-in-law’s boss, what would you do? Would you want to fire the guy?

Most likely.

But politicians and elected leaders are supposed to control those impulses and not use their power irresponsibly. Again, stress the words supposed to…

That is the dilemma that is facing Gov. Sarah Palin, Alaska’s Annie Oakley and the new vice presidential pick of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.

Over in Alaska, a legislative panel has launched a $100,000 investigation to determine if Palin dismissed Alaska’s public safety commissioner Walter Monegan because he would not fire Mike Wooten, her ex-brother-in-law.

According to the AP, before Palin became Governor of Alaska, the Palin family accused Wooten of drinking a beer while in his patrol car, illegal hunting, and firing a Taser at his 11-year-old stepson. The Palins also claimed Wooten threatened to kill Sarah Palin's father.

Wooten was suspended over the taser incident and another allegation for five days in 2006. He has since been cleared on all other charges, and is still on the job.

Personally, if I thought someone threatened my father, abused by nephew and hurt my sister, I wouldn’t want the guy around either. And if his boss was working for me – i.e., public commissioner Walt Monegan — and didn’t see the merit in finding cause for firing, I perhaps wouldn’t think too highly of him either.

At the very least, Monegan, who was appointed by Palin, should have been more sympathetic. Or given Wooten rotten hours. If he does this to his family, he's likely going to be aggressive with others while working on his job as state trooper.

With her bare hands! Pardon the exclamation points, but this is something out of a Stephen King short story. According to the LA Times, what was thought to be standard B&E is now turning out to be much more.

Fifty-one-year-old Susan Kuhnhausen returned home in September of last year to an intruder, hammer in hand, ready to bludgeon his victim. He did, in fact, get one blow in, but before he could do further damage, she wrestled the hammer out of his grip, then proceeded to strangle him to death.

Police have been investigating since the September attack, and recently uncovered a link between Kuhnhausen's ex-husband and the deceased attacker.

Investigators believe that Michael Kuhnhausen, distraught over the divorce, hired the attacker to kill his wife. Bits and pieces of a paper trail are slowly revealing that the attack was premeditated and Kuhnhausen to be the mastermind.

Michael Kuhnhausen was taken into custody and charged with conspiracy to commit murder and attempted murder and held on $500,000 bail.

Fortunately, Susan Kuhnhausen is in the clear: Police say she acted in self-defense. She acted very well, indeed.

Football great Michael Strahan has been granted a Giant relief. A New Jersey state appeals court has ruled that he didn't have to pay $18,000 a month in child support of his 3-year-old twin daughters as part of his divorce settlement with his ex-wife, Jean.

But Jean isn't going to be shopping at the Dollar Store any time soon. In their bitter divorce, where nasty accusations flew like fumbling footballs, she caught a $15.3 million settlement, slightly more than what was specified in their prenuptial agreement. Strahan paid around half of that, and they recently settled a dispute over the remaining $6.5 million.

The court sent the child support case back to a lower court in Essex County and ordered it to recalculate the amount. Judge Lorraine Parker, one of the three judges involved in the decision, wrote, “Both parents have a shared obligation to support their children.”

In the decision, Judge Parker said that “as a healthy, educated, 41-year-old, [Jean Strahan] is capable of earning her own income.”

Perhaps Jean Strahan overstepped when she made certain claims for her daughters’ expenses, including $30,000 a year for landscaping, designer handbags, and $22,000 for baby pictures.

The three-judge panel also ruled that Strahan doesn’t need to pay for his wife’s lawyers, nor does he need to get a multi-million dollar disability policy.

Strahan announced yesterday that he has not accepted a request from the Giants to return to the team. Vacationing in Greece, he said he preferred to stay retired. It would have been his 16th season of professional football.

His salary would have been $8 million a year.

Instead he will receive a $2 million salary working for Fox Sports pregame Sunday show covering the National Football League.

Losing a job often means a spouse can’t afford to pay a divorce settlement. When Steven became Susan Stanton at age 48 after a sex-change operation, the Largo Florida City Commission fired Steven/Susan from his/her job as city manager — a job that paid $157,000.

The grounds: after 20 years on the job, and just when he decided to become a woman, they lost trust in him/her, and felt he/she was no longer leadership material.

That left Donna Stanton, the wife of the new Susan Stanton, in a quandary when they tried to figure out equitable distribution.

According to a story in “The Tampa Tribune” by reporter Stephen Thompson, and court documents, Steven/Susan Stanton amicably mediated his divorce from his wife of 18 years. The wife, Donna, would get $4,756 in alimony and an additional $799 a month in child support for their 15 year old son. Their marriage lasted 17 years.

Because Steven/Susan no longer has a job, he/she offered Donna Stanton a lump sum of $50,000 from his/her retirement account to cover the roughly first ten months of alimony.

That would make him current through December.

But — and here's the kicker — according to the settlement, if Steven/Susan doesn't get a job by then, even though he/now/she has applied for 100 city manager jobs, Donna Stanton is entitled to more from the retirement account.

One good thing: sex change and broken marriages make for great movies, or at least they did in 2003, when Tom Wilkinson starred with Jessica Lange in the highly-regarded television drama “Normal,” about a man who wants to become a woman after 25 years of marriage and two children.

Most American 8-year-old girls are thinking about The Suite Life with Zack and Cody and not a married life with a man in his fifties. But in Saudi Arabia, girls just can't have fun, and how they're treated is no laughing matter.

According to the BBC, an 8-year-old girl is pleading to a Saudi Arabian court for a divorce. She was married off to the man without her knowledge — by her father. (How do you say jerk in Farsi?)

Child-protection organizations say Saudi children are sometimes given away in return for large dowries, or as a result of beliefs that marriage to cousins or other known persons will protect young boys or girls from illicit relationships.

What should be illicit is selling a daughter before she becomes of age to make her own choices and treating her like property instead of a prized individual.

Now, following the publicity, the child's mother is reportedly asking for an annulment. Although women have limited power in Saudi Arabia, annulments have a precedent with underage children.

Last April, a court in neighboring Yemen annulled the arranged marriage of a 9-year-old girl to a 28-year-old man.

Perhaps the court of public opinion will help make a ruling in Saudi Arabia as well that young brides have an age requirement.

Most often, the government stepping in to the average citizen's life is not so much of a good thing. But what do you expect in Shanghai? But sometimes, stepping in isn't such a bad thing, after all. The Chinese city now offers divorce counseling free of charge to couples filing with Shanghai's Songjiang District, reports web site china.org.cn.

Since last June, all couples have had access to psychological consultants from the district's Psychological Consultant Association. Consequently, 30% have accepted the offer, and 70% of those couples have reconciled. Overall, more than 300 divorce petitions have been dropped.

And for the remaining husbands and wives who would like to proceed? The counselors help to negotiate custody and division of property. Did we mention this is free of charge?

China isn't the only country stepping up to the divorce-mediation plate. Australia's Family Relationship Centre offers "providing free information for families, the centre has qualified, professional staff to help families with the difficulties associated with separation or divorce," says the Manning River Times.

A spokesperson for the organization says she hopes families see the center as an alternative to court entirely.

Doesn't seem like such a bad idea, does it?

I have a secret. My name is Naomi, I am a journalist, and I don’t watch the news. I used to try and hide this fact, sort of skimming the headlines so I could fake my way through conversations involving current events. But I got a news alert today that tells me exactly why I am completely in the right. I am vindicated and I never have to watch the news again.

Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda is a preacher. I’m not totally sure where “preacher” ends and “cult leader” begins, but that’s neither here nor there. In the beginning of his illustrious career, Miranda got famous because he convinced everybody that he was the second coming of Jesus.

Then he changed his mind and proclaimed he was no longer Jesus. He was the Antichrist.

His wife filed for divorce, although I can’t imagine why.

Since nobody knows exactly how much money the second coming of Christ has stuffed under the holy mattress, Miranda was ordered to pay interim alimony to the tune of $15,000 a month and he’s five months behind. He figured that instead of paying, he’d just disappear and go out on the lam. But what would you expect from the Antichrist? Post-dated checks delivered by courier?

The good news is that the preacher — and you know he’s a preacher because he has “666” tattooed on himself, as do his constituents — never physically abused his wife. She is, however, seeking compensatory damages from the emotional turmoil caused by his repeated threats that he’d send the “angels of destruction” on her and the kiddies.

And they ask me why I don’t watch the news.