You’ve seen them at dinner, the couples whose fighting escalates to shouting matches or those who close their eyes into slits, purse their lips and fire off sarcastic put downs at their mates over their Chardonnay or Coors Light.

They seem like they’re heading for divorce.

Not necessarily. Some people fight and like it.

John Gottman, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, says there are three types of fighters:

• The ones who validate the other person’s experience and work it out together. (“I understand why you spent the rent money on a motorcycle for your mid-life crisis.”)

• The ones who fight vocally. (“You middle-aged, mindless jerk! How could you?”)

• The ones who agree to disagree. (“Ok, I guess I’ll have to figure out another way to pay the rent.”)

As long as the verbal fighters understand each other and aren’t bothered by it, they can stay together. Husband and wife know it’s a way to let off steam and so they manage their expectations.

In a study, Gottman discovered that couples argue about the same issues 69 percent of the time. As reported in “Psychology Today,” his long-term study of 670 couples showed that couples don’t actually resolve their problems, but learn to live with them.

Should they change partners, they’ll just get a different set of unresolved issues.

So what’s the key to happiness? “Establish a dialogue with the problems, learning to live with them much the same way someone learns to live with a bad back," he says.

The trick is to acknowledge your partner’s limitations.

Uh-huh. That’s not hard.

Gottman, however, also pointed out that the positive interactions in your relationship have to outweigh the negative arguments five-to-one.

Otherwise the couple won’t last until their silver anniversary, or even their fifth.

I was shocked. I stared at the first sentence and thought, "What is wrong with this world?"

"Alarming." That word tripped my whole reaction. "An alarming 70 percent," the news report began.

Yes, it's true. 70% of the American population thinks that divorce is morally acceptable, according to Gallup's 2008 Values and Beliefs survey.

Oh, I'm not shocked at the statistic or large figures. I'm not upset that people think it's okay to get divorced. Divorce doesn't compromise my personal morals in any way.

I was shocked because some poor news reporter out there hadn't hailed the 21st century along with the rest of us.

Aaron Leichman claimed that the statistic of 70% was an alarming number. What's alarming about the majority of people believing that it's acceptable for two people to end a relationship? I get the feeling that Aaron was one of the 30% of the people polled that day.

Ask the people who suffer emotional, physical or financial abuse in a relationship whether they believe divorce is an acceptable moral choice. Ask the people who live hollow relationships or simply co-exist with a stranger in the same house whether they believe separating is immoral.

Immoral means a deliberate violation of the rules between right and wrong. Is it a violation to say, "Oops, I made a huge mistake. Help, please?" Is it a terrible moral conflict to say, "I'm sorry. I fell out of love. I don't want to cheat you or me at a chance to be happy."

Of the other 16 ethical issues covered in the Gallup pole, divorce breezed right on through. No issues, really.

The 30% that believe divorce to be an immoral act are those who identified themselves as conservative, religious or over 65. In short, the opinion that divorce is wrong is an outdated one.

"Powerful" — "A Masterpiece" — "Highest Recommendation" — "Nearly every page sent chills up my spine" — "Everyone should read this book"

Reviews like these are generally reserved for authors like Cormac McCarthy, John Grisham, or Alice Walker.

But all the raves are for FWW contributor and New York Times bestelling author Debbie Ford and her new book, Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy.

Since its release in March, the book has been flying off the shelves and wowing readers and critics alike. Like Debbie's previous books Spiritual Divorce and The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Why Good People Do Bad Things both inspires and guides readers to achieve personal growth and transformation.

If you'd like to find out more about Debbie and her work, click here. And to see her features on FWW, click here.

We've covered the wedding-ring coffin biz in depth (check it out here, here, and here), and it's gaining even more popularity. Atlanta divorce attorney Melody Richardson now gives them to clients as a token of appreciation for their business.

Richardson had gifted champagne and massage kits in the past, but says she found these apropos and couldn't pass them up. I don't know about you, but if I just shelled out a few thousand for legal fees, I'd prefer the liquor. (Guess it depends on how the court ruled.)

Click here for more.

During audiences at the Vatican on Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI called divorce and abortion "grave sins" and warned that a "culture of death" may even put the lives of the elderly at risk.

The pope says divorce and abortion harm the dignity of human life, cause suffering to those involved and hurt innocent victims, such as the unborn child or the children of a divorced couple.

He told participants in a Catholic congress that "The ethical judgement of the Church on divorce and abortion is clear and well-known, they are serious offences... which violate human dignity, inflict deep injustice on human and social relations and offend God himself, guarantor of conjugal peace and origin of life."

However, he did add that there were those that have committed such "errors" and have "suffered" from wounds of the soul and sought peace.

"Divorce and abortion are choices....which sometimes develop in difficult and dramatic circumstances... and are a source of profound suffering for those who take such decisions."

He then called on the Catholic church to be merciful to those that have experienced such events.

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It's an image we've seen far too often lately: The supportive wife standing beside her man, doing her best to remain stoic while he reveals his extramarital blunders to the entire nation.

The media's response seems to follow a strict pattern. First, there is speculation ("Will Clinton be impeached?"), followed by the questions ("Who was McGreevy's lover?"), and finally, a healthy dose of political spin ("Senator Craig wasn't soliciting sex, he just needed some toilet paper").

Only after all the dust has finally settled does the media's eye turn to the most obvious victim: Yes, the supportive wife in the smart pantsuit, still standing beside her man.

So how does the media handle "the wife"? Much the same way it handled the husband — even though she wasn't the one cavorting around with interns and prostitutes (both male and female).

Take Silda Spitzer. Fox News speculated on whether she would leave her husband or not. The Washington Post questioned her choice to stand by Eliot's side during his announcement. By the time the spin came, Silda was all but forgotten - the "other woman" was discovered on myspace, and the whole cycle repeated itself again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Looking for a good, cathartic read? Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert might be just it. Gilbert's memoir chronicling her year abroad following a painful divorce has become a huge success with more than 1 million copies in print and published in 30 languages.

This is not a huge surprise to us at First Wives World. With all of the divorced men and women out there, why wouldn't this book be a success?

Eat, Pray, Love details Gilbert's journey from a divorce to an enlightened, if more spiritual, place. She spends four months eating in Italy, four months praying and meditating in India, and four months finding a balance in Indonesia.

Gilbert, who begins her first national book tour this Friday in Arizona, says that her book tends to speak to all people, and said, "Even if you're not into the spiritual journey, you can enjoy the pizza."

She says that after her divorce, she desperately need to do what she did in order to "grow up" and get her life "back together."

Sounds like a great idea to me. But according to Gilbert, there are those have disagreed and told her that a year long vacation was nothing but a "selfish escape" from her "romantic failures." What do you think?

Click here for more.

The Economic Times ran an article recently on how Muslim men and women might soon have equal rights. It seems that the All India Muslim Women Personal Law board wants to instate some western culture into an eastern world through the "Shariat Nikahnama." Good for them.

The board wants to overrule divorce carried out through SMS, e-mail, and video conferencing.

Hold up here... People in New Delhi can divorce via email? "Hi. I'm divorcing you. Signed, your new ex-husband." Um, yeah.

On the other hand, why is this such a bad thing? From what the media tells me, women are treated pretty shabbily in many places of the world, to say the least. There are countries where stoning is legal and where exposing a cheekbone or an ankle results in punishment.

In fact, the article quoted Shaista Amber, the AIMWPLB president as saying that the "Shariat Nikahnama" would entitle a woman to separate from her husband if there was any kind of ill treatment or torture.

Torture? Hold up again. Wouldn't it be smarter to make torture against the law first?

Here's my line of thinking: If a man tortured me and wouldn't have to live up to any consequences, I'd be firing up the laptop pretty fast for that quickie divorce a la email. "Which account would you like to use, honey? I'll set it up for you... would you like me to write it out and you just hit send?"

The other 90 percent of the proposed changes perfect sense, and they'd allow women to divorce after the discovery of an affair, a lack of family support, bad treatment and more. They're all perfectly justifiable reasons. Women should be allowed to part ways with someone who blew the concept of marriage out the window.

It seems like everybody has got a piece of advice for Silda Spitzer, but I found the advice given by New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams to be shocking.

In an article titled "Stay With Shpritzer, Smart Lady," Cindy Adams said (among other things):

"I want to tell her — so what. She may not longer be New York's first lady, but a husband hooking up with a hooker is not reason enough to no longer be a married lady."

and

"Sex, a primal need, outpoints fear, hunger and love as mankind's No. 1 driving force. Unless you're a pig or a monk, many an able-bodied — and I use that term deliberately — 48-year-old husband of 21 years has grazed. I'm not advocating it. I'm merely saying, so what? It's like takeout food. Less work for mother."

and then added

"Paying a pro isn't disrespect to his wife."

Whoa. I completely disagree. I think that "a husband hooking up with a hooker" is not only enough of a reason, but a fabulous reason to no longer be a married lady. In my book, and I think that a lot of women will agree with me here, it's grounds for instant divorce, no discussions.

And what's with the "so what" attitude? This is a big deal. Infidelity is heartbreaking. I can't believe she is making it seem so trivial. Then comparing hiring a hooker to takeout food?! You know, a lot of married women enjoy having sex. I did. In fact, I don't think I know any who don't. Besides, has anyone here ever spent $80,000 on takeout food?

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A recent CNN article highlighted divorce parties — and made a strong argument for the growing trend. Much like a wedding ceremony, a divorce party celebrates a pivotal transition in life. In fact, L.A.-based Christine Gallagher runs The Divorce Party Planner, a company devoted solely to planning such events.

Gallagher says divorce is a part of life, yet it's the only major milestone for which there is no ritual.

One divorcee that was interviewed agrees, adding that something as simple as a toaster, a common registry gift, means much more after a split than on the wedding day and recently set up a divorce registry for a friend. (Especially after hefty legal bills.)

Another ceremoniously reclaimed her maiden name. Former beauty queen Shanna Moakler held a Vegas bash, complete with a knife-wielding-bride cake topper. The groom? Dead. (The miniature one, of course. The real groom, Travis Barker, is alive and well.)

We're pro-divorce party. What better way to usher in a new perspective on life than with your closest friends and family.... Out with the old, in with the new, right?

Click here for more.