What can we learn from celebrity break-ups, billionaire settlements, straying husbands, downright daunting divorce laws, or scandalous politicians? PLENTY! Meet our contributing writers and professional advisors who are tickled pink to ponder all of the news, views, gossip and buzz that we love to hear!
Did You Know...?
Factoids about Women, Divorce, and the Legal System
Posted by Editor on Mon, 07/07/2008 - 4:02pm
In Rome, 449 AD, a man could divorce his wife if he could prove that she was leaving home at night without his permission, that she was going to the circus, the theater or the amphitheater after he forbade it.
Delicious
Digg
Reddit
Google
Yahoo
TechnoratiIs Divorce Becoming a Luxury?
Posted by Editor on Sun, 07/06/2008 - 8:24pm
Is it possible that times are so bad, and divorce is so expensive, couples are staying together? It seems that divorces have moved into the luxury category, along with gas-guzzling cars, soy lattes at Starbucks, and big homes. Fine for those who can afford it.
That's what an article in the Newark Star-Ledger says, with statistics to prove it.
The number of couples signing on with mediators has fallen 21 percent in one year, according to Keila M. Gilbert, president of the Alpha Resource Center, a nonprofit divorce mediation network based in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. Part of the reason, she thinks, is housing prices. If the home is a couple's only real asset, and it can't be sold, or it would be sold at a loss, that makes it very difficult to resolve a divorce.
Moreover, with some husbands and wives losing their jobs, or not being able to find work at their previous level, it becomes clear that it's a bad time to split up: all expenses will be higher for two separate households, starting with health insurance and ending with cable TV.
For couples who are barely making it now, divorce becomes a near impossibility.
A divorce mediator in Metuchin, New Jersey, Michael Grodjeski, said: "They end up getting stuck living together. It's not easy, but don't forget, couples who come to mediation tend to be more amicable about their divorce. They can continue to live together, not happily maybe, but they are trying to make the best of things."
Of course, for some women, divorce isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. It may mean renting their home out and keeping it in both names until the market improves, or it may mean biting the bullet and making a break. Even reduced circumstances are better than living in an unhappy home.
Do wealthy celebrities and athletes get divorced more often than the rest of us? Sure seems like it. The Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, and his wife, Cynthia, have announced their separation after six years of marriage. She gave birth to their daughter Ella in Miami just this last April. Ella joins their first daughter, Natasha, 3.
Cynthia has been licking her wounds with Lenny Kravitz, a friend represented by the same agent, in Paris. No hanky-panky there, Kravitz says, just a shoulder to lean on. You go, girl! And A-Rod has been said to share an interest in, shall we say kabbalah, with the Material Girl herself, who is or is not separated from her husband, Guy Ritchie.
Meanwhile, we’ve had Kobe Bryant splitting with Vanessa, Michael Jordan splitting with Juanita, Jason Kidd splitting with Joumana, Dwayne Wade splitting with Siohvaughn. Bill Murray, Robin Williams, Reese Witherspoon. Hmmm, what do athlete couples and actor couples have in common?
They are beautiful physically, and/or celebrities.
They spend a lot of time away from home, usually without their spouses.
They have oodles of money, and extra time on their hands.
Most women can’t do anything about changing No. 1 and No. 3. But, girlfriend, if your husband is away from home a lot, you might check out the 2006 book “THE SCRIPT: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat.”
Or if you really want to feed your suspicions, try the 2002 book “Is He Cheating on You: 829 Telltale Signs,” which includes, among other things, 27 signs about travel and 39 signs about absences.
Two shocking divorces in Yemen have drawn attention to the plight of child brides. The first case involved a 10-year old wife, Nujood Ali, shown, who walked into a courthouse in April and demanded a divorce. In May another girl, 9, ran to a hospital in Jibla, and told the staff her husband had been beating and abusing her.
The 10-year-old girl, Nujood, The New York Times reported over the weekend, is barely 4 feet tall. Her father, a beggar, married her off to a 30 year old man, he said, for her own good. He wanted to protect her, one of his 16 children, from abduction and forced marriage to someone else, as had happened with her two older sisters.
Her father’s argument was that it’s better if I force her to get married than if someone else forces her to get married.
During Nujood’s time with her husband, she said, he beat her and forced himself on her. She took a taxi to the courthouse in Sana, the capital, her first trip ever alone, and once there found both a lawyer and a kindly judge. When she appeared before him in court, he asked her if she wanted a separation from her husband or a permanent divorce. To see what she answered, in front of her father and her husband, go here.
International Planned Parenthood reports that pregnancies are the leading cause of death for girls between 15 and 19 worldwide. Those below the age of 15 are five times more likely to die in childbirth than women over 20. The problem exists in Yemen, where the typical age of marriage for girls is 12 to 14. According to a 2005 Unicef report, 60 percent of girls 15 to 19 in Niger are married. In Mali, 39 percent of girls are married by age 15. In Ethiopia 50 percent of girls are married by age 15.
read more »
Lesson of Christie Brinkley Divorce
He or She Who Has More Money Will Have Prenuptial Challenged
Posted by Jill Brooke on Wed, 07/02/2008 - 3:14pm
It really isn't a surprise that architect Peter Cook was seen having a manicure. His claws were being sharpened for his divorce trial with model Christie Brinkley. Mr. Cook, who was the architect of his marriage's demise by having an affair with an 18 year old, apparently didn't fully realize how much he would lose, especially custody rights, as a result of his wandering weenie. Life with Brinkley included beautiful children, beautiful homes, a glamorous social life, boats, first-class plane rides and the access his wife's success provided.
And then poof, it was all gone when she threw him out. And naturally, he missed it.
Having been married three times before marrying Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley obviously insisted on a pre-nup. Like many well-heeled people, she thought her lawyers had written a solid agreement.
She married a Frenchman in the 70s and divorced him in 1981. With musician Billy Joel, the divorce was dissolved amicably and both maintained their own incomes and self-respect. Then came developer Rick Taubman, whom she reportedly paid $1 million for freedom and sole custody of their son, Jack Paris, now 13. Having been financially burned by her relationship with Taubman, Brinkley understandably was insistent that the pre-nup with Cook would be ironclad.
“Unfortunately the word ironclad is a bit of a myth,” says divorce lawyer Clifford M. Solomon, partner of Solomon Tanenbaum in Westchester. “Anyone can challenge a pre-nup. And it has worked in some cases. Someone will challenge that the person didn't reveal income or assets in the pre-nup and then the agreement is revisited to their advantage.”
Often the wealthier of the two sparring spouses will throw in some extra money or property beyond the pre-nup to just make the case go away. After all, a court trial is as ugly as Christie Brinkley is beautiful.
read more »
And then poof, it was all gone when she threw him out. And naturally, he missed it.
Having been married three times before marrying Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley obviously insisted on a pre-nup. Like many well-heeled people, she thought her lawyers had written a solid agreement.
She married a Frenchman in the 70s and divorced him in 1981. With musician Billy Joel, the divorce was dissolved amicably and both maintained their own incomes and self-respect. Then came developer Rick Taubman, whom she reportedly paid $1 million for freedom and sole custody of their son, Jack Paris, now 13. Having been financially burned by her relationship with Taubman, Brinkley understandably was insistent that the pre-nup with Cook would be ironclad.
“Unfortunately the word ironclad is a bit of a myth,” says divorce lawyer Clifford M. Solomon, partner of Solomon Tanenbaum in Westchester. “Anyone can challenge a pre-nup. And it has worked in some cases. Someone will challenge that the person didn't reveal income or assets in the pre-nup and then the agreement is revisited to their advantage.”
Often the wealthier of the two sparring spouses will throw in some extra money or property beyond the pre-nup to just make the case go away. After all, a court trial is as ugly as Christie Brinkley is beautiful.
read more »
Can a guy cheat on his wife and be involved in Internet porn and still be a good father? This question is being debated not only in the divorce trial between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook but in kitchens and cafes and around water coolers across the country.
Some of my guy friends have argued that they know plenty of men who are great fathers but have cheated on their wives. And a few have also said that they have watched porn – though not $3,000-worth a month – as though the amount dissolves any sleaziness.
And do you know what I say to them? “How do you define a great father? Sure, a guy can be loving, generous, play baseball or Barbie doll games with their kids and even dote on them and do homework. But they are also the moral template of their children's behavior. If a kid sees that a parent can betray the family, what makes you think that deep down the child will not have trust issues with either men or relationships?”
This usually shuts them up.
Children of divorce are forced early on to compartmentalize their emotions. To manage the trauma of divorce, especially when it was a result of an affair, they have to attach themselves to what they like about the parent and accept that there will be qualities they do not. It is a painful juggling act.
Although Christie Brinkley is fighting for full custody of Sailor, the 10-year-old daughter she had with Peter Cook, and Jack Paris, her 13-year-old son whom Cook adopted, it is highly unlikely that Cook will not have some access to his children.
Many women I have counseled as a stepfamily coach have questioned how their kids could want to see their father after he caused the family so much agony. “Shouldn't he be punished?” they cry. “He shouldn't be allowed to be with our children.”
Naturally Cook's lawyer, Norman Sheresky, is arguing that Brinkley's court case is motivated by revenge and not by the best interest of the children.
read more »
Robin Williams and his wife, Marsha Garces Williams, have announced in court papers that they are going to have a collaborative divorce. (Which means we won't see them and their children paraded on special editions of Entertainment Tonight.) In their court filing they said they would be "honest, cooperative and respectful" and put their children first.
A collaborative divorce allows the couple to make final decisions on the division of property, custody, child support, and other matters, and not leave the decisions to the judge. The idea is to look at long-term interests instead of short-term anger, according to The Wall Street Journal.
In mediation, the husband and wife seeking a divorce meet with a trained mediator, try to work out an agreement, and the agreement is sent to their respective lawyers. Mediation is sometimes ordered in the midst of litigation, as a way to resolve problems. Mediation, on average, will cost around $7,000.
In a collaborative divorce, the couple agrees that they will reveal all pertinent information and their lawyers agree that they will not go to court. If the husband and his lawyer and the wife and her lawyer cannot come to an agreement on something, a neutral expert – a psychologist, an accountant, a real estate analyst, whatever – is brought in to offer advice.
The sides agree not to take advantage of mistakes made by each other. (If only this process had been around during the marriage!)
Everything about the settlement remains confidential. (Thus the results of the Robin Williams divorce will not hit the tabloids.) And finally, if the process breaks down, which it does in less than 10 percent of cases, the two sides cannot continue with their lawyers. They have to start over from the beginning.
read more »
On Saturday, at sunset in the Bahamas, the tennis star Chris Evert had her second encore wedding, this time to the golf star Greg Norman. There were 140 guests including Matt Lauer and the singer-songwriter Corey Hart, according to People magazine.
More importantly, her three sons were part of the wedding party: the youngest, Colton, as the ring bearer and the teenagers Nicky and Alex walking her down the aisle in her Carolina Herrera dress. Her sister was her maid of honor.
His daughter, Morgan, 23, was there to watch and his son, Gregory Jr., 21, served as his best man. The newlyweds, both 53, got engaged six months ago while traveling in South Africa.
And who says it can’t be a romantic wedding even if she is marrying her ex-husband’s best friend?
The festivities, which began on Friday night with golf and tennis before the rehearsal dinner, were estimated to cost $2 million. The couple took over the entire One and Only Ocean Club Hotel on Paradise Island for their guests and, according to various media outlets (none of them allowed even close), exchanged their vows either on a beach, in a fenced off area, at the Blue Shark Golf Club or on the top of a hill under “the dramatic arches of the replica of a 12th-century Augustinian cloister boasting spectacular sunset views over Nassau Harbour.”
All agreed vows were exchanged at sunset.
read more »Madonna Lawyering Up
Posted by Editor on Sat, 06/28/2008 - 2:06am
She Is! She Isn’t! She is? She is! It seems that Madonna is getting divorced after all, or at least she has seen a highly placed divorce lawyer in London. Her press person keeps repeating that Madonna and her husband, the movie director Guy Ritchie, are not getting divorced.
Could this all be a publicity stunt to promote his new movie and her European tour?
Madonna has a 13-show European tour “Sticky and Sweet” starting in Cardiff in August, and is planning her 50th birthday bash on August 16. Richie will turn 40 in September, and has a new film, “RocknRolla” opening in September in London, and in October in America. His film has nothing to do with Rock ‘n’ Roll and everything to do with Russian gangsters in London.
The whole thing has certainly brought enough attention to the two of them. (Like, did you know he had a movie coming out before this?) People magazine online has been having a field day reporting day-by-day updates. On Tuesday night, for instance, they breathlessly reported that the couple was holding hands after having dinner together in New York. Perez Hilton, meanwhile, is bragging that he predicted they would make a very public dinner date. And that this is a well thought out ploy. And then there are rumors elsewhere that Madonna is seeing A Rod.
If there is a divorce filed, dividing up the marital property will be intense. There is no prenuptial agreement, but the assumption is that Ritchie won’t try to drain her of her millions, or try to take away her newly acquired British accent.
read more »Dr. Deadbeat Dad
Posted by Editor on Fri, 06/27/2008 - 2:03pm
Wonder how you’ll collect child support? Some states like Mississippi throw deadbeat dads in jail. In Ohio they put delinquent dad’s mug shots on pizza boxes. And California will pull a deadbeat doctor’s medical license. You’d think that would kind of get his attention, but it happened twice to the Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who operated on Kanye West’s mother, Dr. January (Jan) Adams, most recently on Wednesday night.
The California Department of Consumer Affairs, which oversees the California Medical Board, wrote to Adams on May 21 informing him that he had to pay back child support or alimony by midnight on June 25. The Associated Press reported that he had been working under a temporary 150-day license, part of a debtor’s program run by the Department of Consumer Affairs, which issues temporary licenses until deadbeats pay up.
On June 26, the Medical Board announced in the matter of Dr. Adams that, “as of midnight last night, he is not allowed to practice medicine in California.” His license had previously been suspended for three months in 2006, for the same problem.
Turns out, that’s not his only problem. The Medical Board was already investigating whether or not to suspend his license because of two arrests for drunk driving. (You’d think that would be enough, wouldn’t you?) A few hours after his medical license was suspended he was arrested about an hour from Oakland by California Highway Patrol for driving his gray Jaguar up an off ramp on Interstate 680. He flunked the sobriety test. Oh yeah, and he was driving with a suspended license.
His website lists him as “a physician, author, lecturer, television personality, and entrepreneur,” and says he graduated from Harvard and has created some top cosmetic products. Maybe, but he also apparently doesn’t pay court ordered child support or alimony.
read more »