Women's rights activists are up in arms about a contentious divorce case in Tennessee that may result in the local marital property laws to be changed. According to an article in Tennessean.com, "a wage-earning husband gets to keep $1.7 million in stock. His homemaker wife gets nothing."

Okay, I admit, when we're talking about the rights of the stay-at-home spouse — and let's face it, while many husbands including my own are starting to stay home, it's generally the wife — and there are a few million dollars in play, I can see why people are getting concerned. Some are suggesting that if this settlement goes through as is, it could be precedent setting and go against state laws.

But, and there's a really big but, I don't think that this case has anything to do with the wife being a homemaker. The court says that the husband is being allowed to keep the stock and not share it because all he did was hold it after receiving it as a gift from his father. Her employment status is irrelevant.

In my opinion — and I know this is going to make me the bad guy — when you decide not to work, you take a risk. A gift given to one individual is just that — a gift with only one intended recipient. If Daddy had given him a cheese knife, is she entitled to half of that, too?

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The rate of divorce among those in the armed forces held steady last year at 3.3 percent, which is leaving some wondering whether the figure — which was reported by the Pentagon — is an accurate one.

Consider for a moment the amount of stress that having a spouse in the military, on active duty, can put on a marriage, especially if there are children involved, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if at least half of them divorced. So, why aren't they?

One Army spokesman, Paul Boyce, credits the military's "strong programs ... and a sense of real teamwork among the families," for the fairly low divorce rate.

For example, the Marines have offered workshops to teach couples to manage conflict, solve problems, and communicate better, and the Navy started a similar program.

The Army has started paying for what it calls its "Family Covenant," a broad initiative of services and facilities to improve the quality of life for military families nationwide and overseas. It includes improving health care, schools, housing, and child care to relieve stress on spouses.

Army chaplains have trained some 60,000 active duty and reservists in the "Strong Bonds" program for strengthening personal relationships. Troops also get mental-health training in a program called "Battlemind" that teaches about common problems to expect at home as troops readjust to domestic life.

Still, the numbers tracked do not speak of marriages that are in trouble or falling apart, just those that have ended. In 2006 troops were given a mental health survey, 20 percent of those questioned said that they or their spouse were planning a divorce, compared with 15 percent in 2005.

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There was big news in the divorce blogging world a few weeks ago when a study was released saying that divorce was bad for the environment. When a couple splits up, there becomes a need for two apartments or houses, two beds, two cars, even two toasters. We salute the people who are able to divorce but voluntarily stay together. But imagine being forced to stay together even after the split.

This is the situation currently going on in Cuba. The tiny island is facing a severe housing shortage, estimated to be about 500,000 homes short of demand. People who divorce in Cuba — and there are a lot of them, with a divorce rate of 64 percent — are often forced to live together for years, or sometimes even their entire lives, simply because there is nowhere for them to go.

Mirta, a 45-year-old Cuban national, divorced her husband in 1997. Now, more than 10 years later, she and her ex are still living in the same two-bedroom apartment with their adult children. While many Cubans do not want to be on record as openly criticizing their government for the housing shortage, it's not difficult to imagine how many people must be affected by this issue.

The result has been a type of black market for housing, where people meet strangers on the beach, looking to swap their two-bedroom apartment for two one-bedroom units. This is a black market because under the communist rule, all housing changes and moves must be first approved by the government.

The article I read referred to this as a testament to "Cubans' ability to stay friendly — or at least civil — under the most awkward of circumstances." I guess, but I'm glad I don't have to do it.

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We do a lot of writing here at FWW about how to navigate through a divorce and then move beyond it. And there's no shortage of advice on the topic. I read a lot of these types of "tips" articles, quoting one expert after another, all of them pretty much saying the same things. Like anything else repetitive, it begins to lose its meaning after a while, particularly since the advice always seems like it's being offered in a vacuum. There's only so much "divorce theory" you can read before you wonder how much of the so-called insight really holds any water in practical application.

Well, I saw a piece in the Vancover Sun about a book on divorced couples compiled by a radio producer for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Each chapter is an essay about a divorced couple that has managed to put aside their own differences and sometimes go to extreme measures to keep life on an even keel for their children. The writer, herself, is divorced and shares a house with her ex husband. He lives on one floor, she lives on another, and their kids have both parents under one roof, so to speak.

It sounds like this book might offer a lot of real-world solutions for families that are breaking up. Of course, there's no such thing as one size fits all, and what these people have done may not work for you. But maybe some variation on the solutions they've come up with will prove useful to you. And maybe reading their stories can offer a little bit of hope that it can all work out for the best.

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A couple of my colleagues here at FWW wrote this week about a study from Michigan State University claiming that divorce is bad for the environment, since it means one household becomes two households.

Now, I'm going to skip over the no-brainer element of this, not only because Naomi Dunne and Brian Kilroy have already covered it, but because I read a column with another take on it that I found hilarious.

The columnist wrote a dialogue between a fictional divorcing couple and their children. Mom and dad sit down with the kids for a family dinner and to break the news that they're getting a divorce. And one of the kids is so concerned about the environment that he forgets to get upset that his parents are splitting up. I thought it was pretty effective — as if anyone is going to give a damn about the environment at a time like that. Give this one a read. It's pretty funny.

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Most of the time when you think about the way a divorce impacts kids, you think about young children who aren't emotionally mature enough to deal with what's happening. Well, it's not just younger kids who have that problem. College students whose parents get divorced may be able to handle things on the surface. But it's a strain on their emotions nonetheless.

I read a piece in the student newspaper from California State University-Chico that really shed some light on the subject. And it's a poignant subject for this time of year as college students get ready to come home for the holidays. A lot of them have two homes to go to. Balancing time with both parents can be a struggle, particularly if the divorce happened while the student was away at school.

One student quoted in the piece talked about making a trip home while her father was moving out of the house because she wanted to see his bags packed so the divorce would become real to her. She didn't want to come home for the holidays and find her father completely gone from the house. It lessened the blow for her to see it while it was happening.

Of course, all of the same rules about parenting through a divorce still apply to college kids. You can't expect them to take sides. And I think you have to be realistic about how much time they have for you and your ex. Remember what it was like to be in college. You're starting out your life, making your own decisions, budgeting your own time. And with your family split up, it becomes a bigger challenge. It takes patience and understanding on all sides.

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Thumbs up to Gannett News Service for a nice, long, comprehensive point-by-point breakdown of all the financial matters you need to think about when you go through a divorce.

With the number of divorces there are in the United States, every media outlet in the country could do this story once a month and it still probably wouldn't be enough. There are so many things to remember, and considering it's the worst time in your life, you're bound to overlook some of them.

Long story short, getting divorced is like getting ready to buy a house. Just make off that you're about to go through a loan application. Take stock of all your assets. One tip that jumped out at me was to think about assets that might not typically be on the top of your head, like frequent flyer miles and store reward club memberships. These things may seem insignificant in the grand scheme, but they should be considered and divided up nonetheless.

Another thing lots of people forget is the need to update wills and change beneficiary information. This one is particularly easy to overlook because for at a lot of us, that involves an appointment with a lawyer or financial advisor — and that's just one more thing you have to make time for.

One expert Gannett talked to says one of the key mistakes people make is trying to hold on to their house at all costs. You may get the house, but that means you also get the mortgage and property taxes and upkeep of the house all to yourself. Can you afford that? If you're staying in the house for the benefit of your kids, so they won't have to move and change schools, you should be entitled to more spousal support so you can afford everything you need.

There's lots more in this article — it's a must-read if you're going through a divorce.

Later this month in Austria, they’re going to have what is being called the world’s first divorce fair. The event will bring together all sorts of resources to help people navigate their way through the end of a marriage -- everything from legal information and tips for spying on your cheating spouse to advice on how to help children deal with what’s happening.

Provided that this doesn’t just turn into a way for money-grubbing attorneys to drum up more business, I think it’s a great idea. As prevalent as divorce is in the U.S., it seems like it’s only a matter of time before events like this one take place here.

The only drawback I can see is that it could be rather awkward to walk up to someone at a booth in a crowded convention hall and start asking for advice or talking about your own situation. Divorce is such a personal thing, it seems like the dynamic of the interactions at an event like this might be a bit stilted. Still, it’s an interesting and worthwhile-sounding concept.

One rather ironic thing, though. The organizer of this event also organizes wedding fairs. Isn’t that versatile?

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Here’s another story that shows things aren’t always so rosy in religious families. We’ve written a couple of times about the mis-matched ministers, Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks.

Well, here’s a story out of Alabama about a pastor whose wife walked out on him and their two kids six months ago. Actually, according to a report in the Mobile Press-Register, Beth Smith is still seeing her children on a regular basis, and sources say she is a good mother.

But in March, she hocked her wedding ring while attending a religious convention in Louisiana and bought a bus ticket to New York without telling her family anything. To say the least, details like that make her sound unstable. She was living in a women’s shelter in New York when authorities finally located her in July and brought her back to Alabama.

Her husband, Rev. Jason Lee Smith, has filed for divorce and it seeking custody of the kids, who are 10 and 7. Beth Smith’s attorney said there was conflict in the marriage and that the couple had grown apart. And he talked about the toll that keeping up appearances can take when you’re married to a religious leader. Indeed, if you start to question the life you’re living, that’s a difficult place to be. But walking out on your family? She’s going to have a tough time explaining that away.

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It appears - at least during Shaq's engagement to his soon-to-be-ex-wife Shaunie - the NBA star was spending some serious quality time with Karinne Steffans, the infamous "Video Vixen" who's been indulged by a list of celebs, including Jay-Z and Usher.

"On the first date, he gave me $10,000," Steffans told The New York Daily News. "Over four months, [he spent] more than $40,000 on me, as far as I can remember."

Coming out swinging, Shaq is accusing Shaunie of being "secretive about her assets," according to a petition filed by his lawyer, Ira Elegant, in Miami-Dade Circuit Court on Tuesday.

The petition also requests that the court require Shaunie to give a "correct accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities (including bearer securities)" obtained during their marriage. An existing pre-nuptial already "contains extensive provisions providing for confidentiality and non-disclosure," according to the petition.

We're dying to see what comes to light tomorrow. We're just hoping that Shaunie's lawyers are as well prepared to deal with whatever new revelations should service in the coming day and months. Particularly with Steffans now involved, we know which team we're rooting for. Go, Shaunie! Go!

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