Should Your Parents Remain Close With Your Ex-Husband?

Should Your Parents Remain Close With Your Ex-Husband?

Posted to by Amanda Lockhart on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 9:42am

I read a report recently that really sort of disturbed me, even though it was about a trend that a lot of people think is a positive thing.

The story is about “friendly ex-laws.” Apparently there are a lot of divorced people who maintain friendships with their ex’s parents. I suppose every situation is different, and admittedly there is something to be said for having everyone maintain their maturity and civility after a divorce. But my gut reaction is to wonder how anyone could really be comfortable with this.

Even if your divorce was amicable there’s still an inherently negative vibe that permeates everything and every relationship that was associated with the marriage. I don’t see how anyone can compartmentalize their relationships like this.

There was one woman quoted in the story who said her mother-in-law told her: “You’re divorcing my son, not me.” I’m not sure I could live with that. If you’re uncomfortable with your parents maintaining a relationship with your ex, then your parents should respect you enough to honor that. Divorce is hard enough without having to endure situations like this that make it even more complicated.

Comments

My parents divorced when I

My parents divorced when I was 23 and to this day, my mom is good friends with my dad's mom and family. They call us all the time and we exchange gifts and visit. I think it depends on the amount of time you have known the exes and how well you got along while married. Ultimately, I think if you can make it work, than that is a great thing!

I am friendly with my ex's

I am friendly with my ex's family and I really do consider it a blessing. How do we do it? We do not discuss him in any way whatsoever and we refuse to put our relationship in the middle of the relationship (or lack thereof) I have with the ex. We worked hard to cultivate a relationship over the time that the ex and I were together and I really do treasure these people as folks that do care about me and goodness knows I care deeply about them. I feel truly blessed that they still want to have me in their life in some way. Truly.

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