"Back in 1990, if you had divorce or separation in your background, you weren't allowed to speak [in churches]," says Michelle was married to Joe in 1982. Despite their faith, the two insist that religion alone is not enough to sustain marriage.

"We were told that as long as we were both going to church and both praying and both Christians, that our marriage would be saved," Michelle says. "But that's not true. It takes much more to save a marriage."

The problem, says Joe, was that "our focus was on each other instead of God."

For Michelle, "I would say the major issue was that I didn't know how to communicate my frustrations to Joe. I would tend to stuff things, and Joe did, too."

"The biggest thing I want people to know is that even if their spouse is unwilling to work on the marriage, they can take the tools we use and totally change their marriage, because it changes the dynamics in the home," Michelle says.

Added Joe, "The people we work with usually have the issue I call ‘she-he'. She does this and he does that. The husbands work and provide and then divide because their focus is their wife — they want their wife to be happy, and they don't focus on God. If they focus on God, the happiness will be a byproduct."

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But why are we telling you about it? Firstly, because the same people who host Daddy Divorce Camps are in the process of putting together a Mommy Divorce Camp. And second, because while these getaways are intended specifically to help daddies, mommies and the rest of the family are supposed to benefit as well.

For about $600, attendees receive crash courses in a range of divorce-related issues — from legal and financial, to family and child matters — along with anger management and stress reduction techniques. Workshops take place to rebuild confidence and assist in the healing and closure process. Campers can also indulge in some extracurricular activities like sports, a comedy show, and poker.

The poker skills aside, it would seem enormously beneficial for at least one member of a splitting couple, if not both, to get better acquainted with the above issues — and take an anger management course or three. Also, as long as Daddy's new confidence doesn't turn into bullying, we'd much rather be dealing with a man in the process of finding himself, than one lost in a sea of fear, anger, and self-pity.

"In military-speak it's about surveillance and reconnaissance," King says of keeping track of documents, old check statements, and credit card account balances. "It is war. Do not share lawyers. Remember it's war and that's the way to address it."

Thinking strategically like a general leading troops is essential. Discussing impulsive retribution, King explains: "Whatever pops into your head, don't act on it. It could end up hurting you later in court with your settlement, with custody issues."

In King's army, however, emotions are standard issue. "There was nothing out there that says it's OK if you're feeling terrible — only dry lecture books," King says of her experience when she went through her own divorce. "You need a friend to hold your hand through the painful moments. There's so much you don't know."

But like any general, King had to make her share of tough decisions. Her first order of business was to put her ex's family off-limits. As for friends, there were three camps: hers, his and theirs.

"Oh, let him have them," said O'Connell. "She had plenty of players in her army."

Seems a bit odd, but it could happen sooner than you think. Filed under "Field Notes," the Weddings & Celebrations section recently profiled a newly divorced 35-year-old Atlanta man named Dominic Thomas.

Apparently Thomas, who emailed an announcement of his divorce to 100 people this summer, represents a growing trend. Also this summer, Robert Olen Butler, a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist and a professor at Florida State University, made headlines when his breakup announcement made it into the press.

In Thomas' two-and-a-half page message, he expresses his appreciation for the emotional support he received from friends and family during the custody battle over his son, among other things. By writing his announcement, Thomas said he was "reclaiming" his life. "I don't want it to be a taboo subject."

Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist who specializes in the study of American families at Johns Hopkins University, tells the Times how divorce announcements would have been unthinkable two generations ago.

"It would have been like announcing an out-of-wedlock pregnancy," he says. "The fact that people aren't embarrassed to send out a divorce announcement tells you how routinized divorce has become."

The practice of divorce announcements can be a risky one, mind you. As the Times notes, the latest edition of Emily Post's Etiquette warns that "announcements can backfire, making the celebrant appear cold-hearted and insensitive."

Sharon Bush, our President's ex-sister-in-law, is now telling anyone who'll listen about how she achieved grace after her divorce from Neil Bush by becoming a devoted follower of the Houston-based TV evangelist Joel Osteen.

"He is like family to me," Bush said of Osteen at a private reception she recently hosted for him and his pastor wife, Victoria. "He helped me heal after my divorce. For 23 years I was a member of the most powerful family there is, and with Joel's help I turned to the most powerful force in the universe."

She says Osteen saved her from the depths after Neil Bush left her broke and devastated in a bitter split four years ago: "I went to church with the Bushes, then they basically put me on the street with a shopping cart. Joel helped me. I'm now working on forgiveness."

Well, we're glad Sharon Bush is doing better, but there's something off-putting about her finding solace in the flashy preachings of a Texas TV evangelist.

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Take the story of Xiao Li, a pint-sized 12-year-old girl from Shenyang, Liaoning Province. According to China Daily, Xiao hasn't grown an inch since her parents divorced four years ago. Poor Xiao now stands a wee 3.9 feet tall and is towered over by her larger classmates.

Apparently, Xiao has suffered from depression ever since her parents split, an ailment doctors say can affect the production of growth hormone even to the point of slowing a person's physical growth.

Now we can't confirm the accuracy or science behind any of this. But that doesn't take away from the power of Xiao's heartbreaking story. The awful truth is that divorce does tend to damage the kids, or at least affect their emotional and, it seems, physical development.

Yours truly had front row seats to a painful separation and divorce as a child which left emotional scars that may never completely heal. It's important to remember, however, that bearing witness to divorce will likely do less harm to a child than witnessing a lifetime of family dysfunction.

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The women's already spent her career laying bare the breathtaking heights and crushing lows of love. More recently, the singer/poet's been on tour promoting her third album, "The Real Thing: Words and Sounds, Volume 3" — which she began just as her 13-year-marriage ended — along with her heart-wrenching role in Tyler Perry's new movie, "Why Did I Get Married."

"That's what I do," she tells the Associated Press. "I share the light and the dark and everything in between."

To pull off her role as an emotionally afflicted wife in Perry's new film, Scott referred to her own failed marriage. "That was her stuff coming out," Perry says of Scott's performance. "She brought everything that she had experienced in life to that role."

What position does this Nobel Prize winner take on her ex? "He's a good person," Scott says of Lyzell Williams." He's very kindhearted in a lot of ways, and he should never be vilified by anyone because they didn't live in our house."

But, in her work and her personal life, Scott says she's now free to grow and get back in touch with the real Jill Scott. "I've stepped more into my original me than I have been in a long time — just coming from underwater," she says. "I didn't even know I wasn't breathing, but I'm breathing again."

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Imagine Macy's doing a fall ad campaign based on broken marriages. Never, you say?

Well, that's exactly what Debenhams, the British department store chain, is doing with the "Separated and Successful" Club — a 21st Century First Wives Club of well-known women, carrying the message that any hardship can be overcome with confidence, a steadfast support system, and a spankin' new wardrobe.

The SAS Club is made up of some famous British ladies who've
conquered divorce — and looked fabulous doing it — like TV personalities Coleen Nolan and Trisha Goddard, along with author and journalist Bel Mooney, and divorce coach Kirsten Gronning.

It wasn't until her break from actor Shane Ritchie — and an endorsement deal with Debenhams — that Nolan truly discovered the rejuvenating power of shopping.

"It's really hard getting over divorce, especially when a partner has been unfaithful, as this can really knock your confidence — you think that other men won't fancy you," she says. "A new hair cut and a couple of glam outfits is a real confidence booster that will set you on the right
track."

So, on one hand you have a retailer trying to sell some "glam outfits." But, on the other you have a big name brand — in the U.K., at least — using the issue of divorce to convey a message of strength and the potential for positive change. Pretty impressive.

Maybe not as impressive as the Dove brand spending tens of millions of dollars stateside to promote a broader definition of beauty for women of all shapes, sizes, and generations. But, we'd say it's just as groundbreaking and just as ballsy.

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Yep, Britney Spears — America's candy-coated sweetheart — has hit an (old) Elvis low at the tender age of 26. And to that we say? Super!

The girl was clearly engaged in a dogged day-to-day media campaign to ruin any credibility she had left with fans, family, friends, and, most important of all, her destiny-deciding judge. Her part conscious/part unconscious young woman on-the-verge display was a painfully off-key, glaringly obvious cry for help.

Any why not? The marriage is toast, the career is in the later stages of decomposition, Britney's brain — judging by all outward appearances — is cooked. And now, Commissioner Scott Gordon has ordered Britney to surrender her two sons, ages one and two, to ex-husband and consummate father-figure, Kevin "Pass that Shit" Federline.

With this latest development, we are now firmly encamped with that kid under the yellow bed sheets on YouTube. Enough! Leave Britney alone!

Get the girl some help and let this be the end of her nightmare, because the next stage in this highly-illogical man-made disaster follows far too closely on the red stiletto heels of Marilyn Monroe.

Take our favorite kvetcher, Larry David, who friends insist has never been happier. His wife, environmental crusader Laurie, left him this summer — after 14 years of marriage — for the contractor who worked on the couple's Martha's Vineyard estate.

"Since she left, he is a different man," sources tell The New York Post. "He is so happy. It's like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders."

It must be the weight of saving the world. After all, Laurie's impassioned activism inspired her to produce Al Gore's Oscar-winning documentary "An Inconvenient Truth." As anyone will tell you, misanthropy and philanthropy just don't mix.

Still, the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" star has his grumpy image to uphold. "I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word happy has ever crossed my lips," he tells The Post. "I am not now, nor have I ever been, ‘happy.'" We know, Larry. We know.

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