Drew, 53 and a police sergeant in the Chicago suburb of Bolingbrook, just resigned after being named a suspect in the disappearance of Stacy, his fourth wife. Stacy, 23, was last seen October 28, and authorities are now calling the case a potential homicide.

Peterson says he believes his wife has left him for another man, and so has no plans to look for her. "Why would I look for somebody who I don't believe is missing?" he told NBC's "Today" this week. "She's just gone. She's where she wants to be."

Also, Drew said Stacy had asked him for a divorce, but he wrote it off as a case of female hormones in overdrive. "I'm not trying to be funny, but Stacy would ask me for divorce after her sister died [of cancer] on a regular basis," Peterson said. "It was based on her menstrual cycle."

Speaking of asking for a divorce, the interview aired a day after the body of Peterson's third wife, Kathleen Savio, was exhumed in Illinois as authorities look for clues about how she died.

Savio was found dead of a head wound in her bathtub in 2004, just before the couple's divorce settlement was finalized. The death was ruled an accidental drowning, but investigators now say evidence suggests foul play was involved.

On "Today," Drew had a message for Stacy: "Come home," he said. "Tell people where you are." We've got a message for Drew: Good luck.

As we dished yesterday, British heiress Stephanie Allen is in the process of divorcing Tony because he and The Lohan allegedly got too close at the Cirque Lodge clinic in Utah last month.

This week, Stephanie — whose family makes billions making McDonald's boxes — filed an affidavit claiming the "defendant's conduct with another woman" has lead to the union being "irretrievably broken."

But, Lohan's people are screaming bull. "It's unfortunate Stephanie Allen is blaming the demise of her marriage on Lindsay," her rep told US magazine. "Stephanie needs to look at her marriage to determine the reason why things went wrong because it has nothing to do with Lindsay. Lindsay and Tony are friends and that's all. They are supporting one another through a similar experience. This is a friendship based on trust and mutual support and nothing else."

Officially, Tony is denying the rumors. "We're great friends. We share a common affliction, and we just talk about life sometimes."

Off the record, though, one report has the Tony bragging about the celebrity conquest in typical rock star fashion. "C'mon, it's Lindsay Lohan. Hell, yes! Wouldn't you?"

For the record, we have to point out how pandering handlers contribute to their celebrity client's addictions and general bad behavior. The solution? Get rid of the enabling reps, and let Stephanie and Lohan — uh — "talk" it out.

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Remember the British grandmother we told you about several months back? The plucky 51-year-old who decided to marry Osama bin Laden's youngest son, 25 years her junior?

Well, thinks didn't work out. Under the threat of murder and the disapproval of Osama's influential Saudi family, Jane Felix-Browne has thrown in the towel and decided to divorce the 26-year-old Omar.

"We are both in fear of our lives," she tells the British paper the Sun. "It was a really, really good marriage, a strong marriage," she says. "But I cannot stand by and watch my beloved husband die before my very eyes. I love him enough to let him go. I want him and his son, who is just three, to return to as normal a life as possible.

According to Jane, Osama's family had been humiliated by their marriage, and were threatening to have Omar imprisoned in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, where he runs his scrap metal dealership.

In a desperate move to save their marriage, Jane, a Parish councilor from Moulton, Cheshire, wrote to Saudi Arabia's king last week for help, but has received no reply.

"I will never marry again," Jane says. "My heart will always be with Omar and I will take my love for him to the grave."

We would have loved for dear old Jane to get her happy ending. But, as Shakespeare illustrated so well in Romeo and Juliet, sometimes outside forces do triumph over — well, if not love, than at least good sex with a wealthy 26-year-old.

Next to his wife of 38 years, Romney's wholesome, Norman Rockwell-esque image stands in stark contrast to that of Giuliani, who suffered a very public divorce from second wife, Donna Hanover a few years ago, while still involved with his twice divorced wife Judi.

Still, only 9% of Americans say a divorce would make them less likely to vote for a presidential candidate, according to a Pew Research poll cited by the Monitor. Ronald Reagan, considered a god by most conservatives, was a divorced man. And the percentage who claim "old-fashioned values about family and marriage" has declined, dropping over the past two decades from 87% to 76%.

Like Hollywood, Washington is a funny place where the reflection of our social mores is often contorted as if by a funhouse mirror. And Giuliani's high-paid contortionists are no doubt doing their best to keep voters focused on issues other than personal history. Not to say there's anything un-American about divorce. But, you have to ask: Without Giuliani's personal history and skeletons, would Americans have been introduced to Barack Obama, let alone considered electing him to the highest office in the land?

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