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What can we learn from celebrity break-ups, billionaire settlements, straying husbands, downright daunting divorce laws, or scandalous politicians? PLENTY! Meet our contributing writers and professional advisors who are tickled pink to ponder all of the news, views, gossip and buzz that we love to hear!

We've said it before, and we'll say it again: Britney has gone off the deep end.

Last week, we reported that everyone from her mother to her manager are running for the hills. Now, Britney Spears has fired her old new-lawyers and gotten a new new-lawyer. Marci Levine didn't even last a week.

According to Access Hollywood, Britney will now be represented by Sorrell Trope, well known for representing Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman. That is, until next week, when he'll likely be jumping for cover as well.

As if the lawyerpalooza wasn't enough, it's also been reported that Spears is ignoring the court orders handed down last week. Commissioner Scott Gordon ordered that nether Spears or ex-husband Kevin Federline is permitted to consume alcohol or drugs around the children, or for twelve hours before picking them up. Spears was seen out partying the same night — presumably, a slap in the face to the already agitated judge.

Additionally, Spears must submit to twice-weekly random drug and alcohol screenings, due to what the Court called "habitual, frequent and continuous" drug and alcohol abuse.

Apparently, the judge is very concerned someone will figure out that Spears is higher than the space shuttle. The court ordered all test results sealed, that they can't be faxed to the court, and that anyone distributing them without Court permission will be fined $2,500. Oh gee, now we'll never know.

Spears also has to undergo various types of counseling, including eight hours of parenting classes per week, and individual counseling to address "parenting issues." We think it'd be helpful if they also ordered her into fashion counseling, and perhaps some time with a personal trainer.

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Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Posted by Rianne Walker on Wed, 09/19/2007 - 11:00am
The courtrooms are on fire this week, as accusations flew from all sides in several high-profile divorce cases.

Country singer Sara Evans was in court yesterday to defend against allegations by her soon-to-be ex-husband, Craig Schelske, that she's been sleeping her way up and down the A-list. Schelske made headlines last week when he filed a 118-page manifesto with the divorce court, demanding that Evans admit to affairs with eleven other celebrities, including Kenny Chesney and Will Smith.

Attorneys for Evans denied the charges, noting that Evans has only met Smith once, and it lasted a mere five minutes. Chancellor R. E. Lee Davies, the presiding judge in the case, ruled against Schelske as well, finding the couple had already reached an agreement and no further hearings are required. Read more on Evans here.

Meanwhile, embattled pop-star-cum-disaster Britney Spears was in court Monday, facing a mass exodus of advisors and turncoat employees.

Spears' divorce attorney, Laura Wasser, appeared at a hearing to formally withdraw as counsel for the singer. Meanwhile, Spears' managers at Hollywood-based the Firm have dropped her as well, citing "current circumstances" as "prevent[ing] us from doing our job."

Adding to the damage was the surprise appearance of Tony Barretto, a bodyguard fired by Spears several months ago. Though Barretto didn't testify, sources reveal he was prepared to allege "nudity by Ms. Spears, drug use and safety issues involving the children." The Spears camp characterized Barretto as disgruntled.

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Tracy Burke of Rineyville, Kentucky was due to appear in Montgomery County, Tennessee today to finalize her second divorce, from Brent Burke a Ft. Campbell military policeman.

Instead, her family is in mourning while police search for the person responsible for murdering her and her former mother-in-law, Karen Comer, on Monday.

Burke's nine-year-old son called called 911 on Tuesday afternoon, after he and his two siblings found their mother and grandmother murdered.

"Somebody broke into our house last night and I don't know who it was but they killed everybody here except for my sister, my brother and me."

According to the boy, the children hid from the killer all night. Police said the three children, aged nine, five, and two, were found unharmed by Kentucky State Police.

It is unclear from news reports if the boy witnessed the shootings, or if the children only heard the gunshots. The boy reported the intruder wielded a handgun, and shot his mother, grandmother, and one of his grandmother's dogs, but also that he and his siblings hid after hearing shots fired.

According to papers filed in the Tennessee divorce case, Tracy wanted to end her marriage due to "inappropriate conduct, cruel and inhumane treatment and adultery." She filed for an emergency protective order after a May 27 incident.

Tracy alleged that on another occasion, Brent intimidated her by twirling a gun on his finger, and bragged to a friend that he could "kill everybody and it wouldn't bother him in the least."

Police have yet to name any suspects, though they are interviewing Brent Burke, and have cleared Tracy's first husband, a solider based in Washington state.

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We all know that you really can't have your cake and eat it too. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to stop people from trying.

Stacy Phillips, a Los Angeles divorce lawyer, issued a press release yesterday with an excellent commentary on the effect of celebrity divorce on children, motivated by the public antics surrounding the divorce of Michael and Dina Lohan, parents of Lindsay Lohan.

Phillips represents the exes of a pantheon of celebrities, including the ex-wife of L.A. mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Tori Spelling's ex-husband, and the ex-wife of Jean Claude Van Damme.

Phillips makes a number of excellent observations of value not only to celebrities, but to any parents navigating the waters of divorce.

"Have you asked yourself if the divorce war in which you are engaged is about you or your children?" writes Phillips. "Are you engaged in a legal battle to get back at your ex or are you sincerely in a custody fight because you feel being in one is in the children's best interests?" I think we can all say "amen" to that.

As insightful as the piece is, though, I have to question how much Phillips practices what she preaches. As reported here on First Wives World, Phillips recently filed a motion in Orange County Superior Court on behalf of Bobby Brown, seeking to overturn his divorce from Whitney Houston. Brown claims that since the judgment became final in April, custody and visitation issues have arisen, depriving him of contact with fourteen-year-old Bobbi Kristina.

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According to papers released last week, Bobby Brown has filed a motion to dismiss the final judgment issued in his divorce from Whitney Houston.

According to Brown's attorney, Stacy Phillips, there was insufficient time for him to respond to the divorce filings, resulting in Houston being granted full custody of Bobbi Kristina, the couple's 14-year-old daughter. Brown claims he should have custody, and that Houston has prevented him from having contact with Bobbi, a claim Houston disputes.

The judge scheduled the matter for a hearing on October 22, stating "I cannot determine credibility on paperwork. This really boils down to credibility." Stephen Kolodny, Houston's attorney, indicated his belief that the judgment should stand, noting that Brown can request new custody and visitation orders without overturning the original judgment. Presumably, a dismissal of the entire judgment would leave the door open to contesting issues beyond custody and visitation.

Houston testified in April that Bobby was "unreliable" and uninvolved in their daughter's life, while Brown claims he was the child's primary caregiver. The October 22nd hearing will likely see both sides attacking the other's credibility, especially Houston and Brown's past problems with drugs. Whitney Houston underwent drug rehabilitation twice in the course of the couple's fourteen year marriage, while Brown was arrested on alcohol and drug charges.

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