We all know divorce has some predictable consequences, but there is an unprecedented development in Ireland among divorcing couples. A rising divorce rate, coupled with skyrocketing land values, has meant splitting couples are unable to make a clean break.

Because neither party can buy out the other at today's inflated real estate prices, couples are being forced to sell their property as part of divorce settlements. Thousands of acres of family farms are being sacrificed at land auctions in order to get quick sales.

One agricultural consultant predicted that in the next year, more land will be coming onto the market because of marital breakdown. Some couples, although legally and emotionally separated, are staying together to save the property.

This is not the best way to get on with your life. It may be desirable for the custodial parent to stay in the marital home, but not economically feasible, given rising taxes and maintenance.

In the states, with a decline of real estate prices in many parts of the country, resale is a struggle. If the property is not sold, the parties will not have the capital to make a new purchase.

For non-married co-habiting couples, the problem of jointly-held real estate, becomes even a bigger headache when they want to split. If a buy out is not possible, they may have to stay together, living separate lives.

The ironic twist is that the rising real estate prices actually prompted some of the divorce actions. It was believed that there would be sufficient money to be divided among the parties, to allow for new beginnings. As real estate sales decline in this changing market, divorce may have positive as well as negative consequences.

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Financial experts suggest that the biggest economic burden from divorce falls on women and children. On average, after a divorce they suffer a 45% reduction in standard of living.

At this time of great emotional pain, making ends meet becomes a daunting task. I've put together a few strategies for money management and living within a budget for all the women out there facing the post-divorce financial crunch.

Changing your lifestyle isn't easy, but if you keep these tips in mind, you can survive post-divorce financial troubles. Don't let yourself and your family become part of the rising debt statistics — manage your money wisely.

Create a Budget:

1. List predictable amounts and sources of income. If employed, use your take-home pay.
2. Record your monthly recurring expenses: rent/mortgage, utilities, food, medical, insurances, transportation, car payment, credit cards, telephone, cable, internet, education, clothing, charity, gifts, misc.
3. For three months, record all of your expenditures — this helps you know where your money is going.
4. If you have more expenses than income, adjustments will have to be made.
5. The final divorce decree should have allocated debt responsibility. Include your share of payments in the budget.

Trim Expenses:

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A recent column in the Daily Herald of suburban Chicago brought up the issue of whether both spouses are liable for a mortgage when they split up.

The couple in question are going through a divorce and agreed that the wife would remain in the marital home until their child graduates high school. The wife would pay the monthly mortgage payment and after two years, she would either sell or refinance the home and split the funds from the sale.

Now the husband is renegging on the agreement since his friend warned him that if the wife fails to make regular mortgage payments, the bank could still come after him for payments. The friend is absolutely correct.

Both signatories to the loan agreement remain liable for payment and both could be sued. A written agreement to absolve the one spouse from financial liability, won't be recognized by the mortgage company. Banks wouldn't release the husband from his liability on the note. If the wife could qualify and applied for a new mortgage, then the husband's name would be removed. This isn't a practical or cost-effective solution if they might sell the property in the near future.

Another possibility is for the spouses to make an agreement that would be included in the divorce decree that if the husband has to make any mortgage payments, those funds would be deducted from the wife's portion of a property settlement, when the home is sold. It's unfortunate that this couple, of modest means, may both be sued if the wife fails to live up to her bargain to pay the mortgage.

Meanwhile the husband is demanding that his estranged wife either refinance the home or that they both sell the property now. Both of these demands may be impossible especially given the current downturn in the real estate market.

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Simon Baker's book, How To Be A Great Divorced Dad gives practical advice on setting up a home to accommodate the needs of visiting children. Fathers with children sleeping over need to have a gameplan so that their home offers an atmosphere where children will feel welcome and comfortable.

Here are a few tips:

1. Provide a home with sufficient space so that children will have a sense of security.

2. Bring familiar furniture, toys and other things to which the children are attached.

3. For children under age 5, follow the mother's routine and consistency.

4. Older children should be given funds to decorate their room or space.

5. Configure space for clothing and personal effects which will remain at dad's place.

6. Don't overdo it with buying kids material things; there's a fine line between making them feel comfortable and spoiling them.

7. Respect the privacy of older children.

8. Make sure your home is childproof and childsafe.

9. If a child requests, allow your ex to visit the child's room or space.

These are great suggestions to help dads who may be clueless on how to establish a wholesome atmosphere. Dads should have a washer and dryer at home especially if there are smaller children. Guys living in one-bedroom apartments, because of limited income have space challenges. Murphy beds or sleep sofas are possibilities. Or it may even be necessary to give the children the bedroom.

Legal systems sometimes work against non-custodial parents, but that shouldn't deter them from providing for the best interests of children. Sometimes men, after making support payments, must resort to living in public housing where they don't qualify for larger apartments if children don't live there a certain number of nights per year.

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In a protracted divorce case in Rhode Island divorce, the estranged husband claims that he can fire his wife's attorney as well as sign her name on a contract to sell the couple's home.

He based this outlandish right on a little-known section of the state's "Married Women's Right" law which says a husband "may act as his wife's attorney or agent." Relying on this alleged authority, the husband signed his wife's name on a contract to sell the home, without her knowledge, nor consent. The company, which is attempting to enforce the sales contract, has successfully intervened in the divorce.

The Family Court Magistrate rejected the attempt to dismiss the wife's attorney and appointed a lawyer as a commissioner to sell the house.

A fair reading of the statute indicates, to me, that its intent is to allow either husband or wife to act as agent for the other when they have each agreed. The language, "may" provides permission but doesn't mean it's mandatory or permitted, unless both parties agree.

There are great and serious implications if the Court should rule in favor of the husband's position. If upheld, this case could undermine some aspect of thousands of divorce decrees, especially where property distribution was made. The wife, as joint owner of the home, has legal rights that can't be swept away by a warped interpretation of a law. This would take women back to the old Common Law when women had no property rights.

I don't think the Rhode Island State Legislature meant for that to happen. If the husband's contention is upheld, married women would lose the right to make contracts if their husbands thought otherwise. I agree there is no contract binding the wife. The next hearing date in this divorce is August 8. Stay tuned, we haven't heard the end of this one yet!
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Divorce usually means reaching a property settlement agreement, including an agreement on the marriage home. In many cases, the house must be sold because neither party, on a reduced income, is able to maintain the mortgage payment plus expenses.

Agreeing to a financially fair settlement is the goal. But getting actual possession of the real estate poses a critical problem in a falling market such as the one we're in now.

In 2006, housing prices declined in 149 different markets. Nationally, 40 states reported reductions in real estate sales, averaging 10.1%.

This bleak picture prevents a couple, eager to finalize a divorce, from dividing up the marriage assets. It also may mean economic agony and renegotiated property settlement agreements. Due to the dismal real estate market, one Sarasota, Florida couple that couldn't sell their house, came up with a contingency plan. They agreed that "either party may unilaterally demand a 10% drop in the selling and listing price every 60 days."

Since early 2005, Sarasota has seen a 400% increase in homes for sale and prices declined by 13%, according to a published report. Sellers could sell at bargain basement prices resulting in reduced funds, or hold out for the targeted sales price. Even worse, spouses may have to remain as co-owners despite a broken marriage and real financial difficulty.

If a wife keeps the property and wants to sell at a later date, she will be responsible for all selling costs. Her share of assets would be substantially diminished. Studies show that after one year of a typical divorce, the standard of living of women and minor children, drops by 27%.

In my opinion, declining prices and a slowing real estate market will have a disastrous impact upon people going through divorce. Unfortunately, women will suffer the most. Write and tell us of your experience.
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