In the electronic age and the era of "do-it-yourself" mania, a cottage industry for handling your own divorce has developed. Representing yourself, or acting pro se, in a divorce case may be a real blunder for most people. There are pros and cons of when or if to retain an attorney for separation and divorce.

In do-it-yourself divorce you may be at a disadvantage because:

1. You will not understand how the divorce judge makes his/her decisions.
2. Judges are bound by guidelines and precedence of other cases that you know about without a lawyer to guide you.
3. The court will not come to your aid, or help you put on your case. If you don't understand, you're on your own.
4. If your spouse retains an attorney, they will know how to work the system because they have years of practice.
5. Cross examination of witnesses is important, and you may not be effective in challenging testimony.
6. You may unintentionally show your emotions in the courtroom which could antagonize the judge who doesn't consider issues based upon emotions.
7. If there are children, property, pensions, or investments involved, you need an attorney to broker a financial agreement. Custody, support, visitation, alimony, and property division are best worked out by an attorney acting as your advocate.

Going pro se doesn't usually save money because thorny matters may protract the case. Saving a few thousand dollars and promptly losing your half of the house is not exactly a cost savings.

A lawyer may not be necessary in a marriage of less than 10 years with no children, real estate, personal property, alimony or support involved, and when the divorce is uncontested and no-fault. Electronic forms are abundantly available. If you go this route it is best to seek legal advice from an attorney who you do not retain but who makes the procedure understandable.

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Most people cynically believe that well-connected, rich or politically powerful people are given favorable treatment in many instances. And in this case, they might be onto something. Political and personal connections paid off for Georgia state House Speaker, Glenn Richardson, in his recent quickie divorce.

In the same afternoon, his divorce case was filed, a hearing was held in private, and a final decree of divorce was granted by a judge who had been a partner in Richardson's law firm. This was done despite state law calling for a 30-day waiting period before a divorce becomes final. The case documents were ordered sealed immediately, with no time limit, to protect the couple and their three children.

Georgia law requires a hearing on which documents should be sealed and for how long. The facts will be kept from public scrutiny of the press and researchers. Another irregularity was the side-stepping of the judge who, through rotation, should've heard the case. Some observers feel that Richardson was able to select his judge, a friend and former partner, who would hear the case in chambers.

The frenzy swirling around this divorce began last year when Georgia democrats filed an ethics complaint against the Pepublican Speaker, alleging he had an "inappropriate relationship with a lobbyist" at the same time as he was cosponsoring legislation that would benefit her employer. This complaint was dismissed by a committee of the Legislature.

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I was surprised to learn that about two out of every three marriages in South Africa end in divorce. That is an even higher rate than in the U.S. Getting a divorce in South Africa is an expensive and slow process, taking up to two years.  There is a stalemate going on because divorce cases can currently only be heard by High courts in three divorce court centers for this large country. This makes the costs go up and forces estranged couples to place their lives on hold as they await a court hearing. The city of Johannesburg produces more than one thousand cases per month. The courts are challenged with a heavy work load. It's clear that the system is flawed due to centralization. Legislation has been introduced which will remove divorce cases from the High courts and assign them to regional courts, giving the public greater access.  The change will require additional magistrates, many of whom will have to be trained in family law. This legislation will alleviate the backlog and reduce the cost of divorce cases. It's a progressive step for South Africa to make divorce courts more readily available on a local and regional level. I feel confident that the law will be enacted and it will benefit South African families immensely. Click here for more.

If you've been involved in a contentious divorce settlement case, the outcome was likely affected by the discovery rules of procedure. Because spouses tend to secrete or minimize the existence and value of marital property, it's important to undertake rigorous discovery of assets.

I've come across an article by Ed Lederman, a prominent Denver attorney, who is critical of Colorado's special divorce discovery procedures. He believes divorce discovery should be handled like any other civil case. I don't agree with the attorney's basic premise that discovery doesn't require different rules for family and divorce law. I think the mandatory discovery is a good approach. The goal, once a divorce case is filed, is for both sides to be prepared to fully disclose all documentation.

There are generally five steps in discovery:

1. Disclosure: each side lists information wanted from the opposing party.
2. Interrogatories: written questions to the other side.
3. Facts List: Facts stated for each spouse to admit or deny.
4. Document Request: Produce documentation as proof of assertions.
5. Depositions: Sworn testimony from opposing parties or witnesses.

In marital property states, divorce courts are bound to distribute marital property "equitably" — not necessarily equally. Discovery procedures become the tool to facilitate a fair settlement.

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Residents of the U.K. are becoming increasingly concerned by the demand of Islamic courts that they be given expanded legal authority. There is a growing Muslim population in Britain where religious sharia courts are handling an increasing number of divorces.

There is a fear that sharia courts, which have sprouted in mosques, Islamic centers and in schools, would submerge British courts because Muslims would avoid state courts on issues of marriage and divorce.

Muslims who entered an Islamic marriage must also go through a civil ceremony to have their marriage recognized by the state. When they want a divorce, they must secure a civil divorce as well as an Islamic divorce.

The issues of marriage and divorce as practiced by extremist Muslims subjugate women, treating them as second-class citizens. The rules violate the human rights and values of the U.K. Husbands can divorce wives in the presence of two witnesses without going through a formal hearing. Wives then must appeal to the sharia courts for a divorce, and their requests are frequently not granted.

Critics of the Muslim regulations are alarmed at the erosion of the U.K. justice system. They point out that these courts are registered as charities and they qualify for government tax credits. A recent news story describes the frustration of a Muslim lady who had already received a civil divorce from her estranged husband who she has not seen for two years. Meeting with a senior sharia court judge, she wants to know why she must wait three months before she can remarry. He replied "these rulings are all in the Koran. The rulings are made for all." As a devout Muslim, she is obligated to wait for the sharia court to act on her divorce.

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Personal finance expert Suze Orman recently wrote a piece for women in the middle of a divorce, outlining some of the critical steps for women in this part of their lives.

One of the hardest decisions of life is the one to end your marriage. Both spouses are in the same situation the settlement process isn't easy for either party — except women generally face a more difficult economic challenge. Women must be extra careful in protecting themselves, especially when they have left money management to their husband.

Here's a mini check list for women to consider in making an appropriate settlement:

1. Gather recent financial statements of banking, CD's, investments, credit cards and loans.

2. Check into your spouse's retirement benefits, 401K and IRA accounts and bonuses.

3. Credit card debts should be paid off prior to the divorce. If not possible, the agreement should indicate who will be responsible for which debt. Both spouses are liable for joint and individual debt.

4. Get an appraisal of the family home. Determine the equity amount and whether either party will remain in the home. Should it be sold? If one party is to stay in the home, insist that they refinance the mortgage to remove the name of the other so both parties are not liable.

5. Create a projected budget, anticipating income and expenses as a guide to post-divorce money needs. Can you get a job or will you need some retraining? This will help determine a request for spousal support for a limited time.

6. Can you afford the upkeep of the family home considering your potential income?

7. Determine the value of personal property, investments, and automobiles for decisions about their division.

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In countries all over the world, married women endure domestic abuse. In most countries, though, they have an out-clause. While divorce is never pleasant, at least it's an option. I was shocked to read that divorce isn't allowed in the Philippines — or Malta — and that these are the only two countries in the world that don't permit divorce.

Both are Catholic strongholds that attempt to support and keep families whole. But how can family life be called viable in light of documented rampant domestic violence and physical abuse by husbands against Filipino women? This cruel spousal treatment violates basic human rights and often keeps women in bondage. Due to embarassment, as well as a societal attitude that domestic violence is unimportant, abuse is chiefly unreported

If women cannot legally escape from the abuse by securing a divorce, they are trapped in hostile marriages, believing nothing can be done about their situation.

I'm highly concerned about the children who witness physical acts of violence against their mothers. This may damage them psychologically for life and the children may perpetuate these acts in their own relationships with girlfriends and wives.

An added dilemma is the communities in which indigenous priests and tribal leaders perform marriages. Attempts to enact divorce legislation have the burden to satisfy diverse communities as well as the Catholic Church.

It appears that most Filipinos side with the Church, claiming you have to stay married for the sake of the family and "you will be rewarded in heaven." I find this reasoning to be offensive and a danger to women who experience acts of violence by a spouse.

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On January 1, New Hampshire became the fifth New England state to bestow Civil Union or Domestic Partnership rights to same-sex couples. These "Yankee" states have become increasingly gay-friendly, displaying rainbow colors intending to make CU rights equivalent to marriage. It is inevitable that the winds of change continue to recognize and provide partial relief from discriminatory practices against gay/lesbian couples.

A November 2007 poll by the Washington Post and ABC shows 55% of Americans think same-sex partners should be allowed to form legally recognized CU's. This is a ten point increase from the June 2006 poll.

CU provides same-gender couples with the rights, benefits and responsibilities as opposite-sex civil marriage. In most CU states, these benefits include health care and pension rights, health-care decisions, family leave, child parentage, custody and adoption, among others. Domestic Partnership status provides a tad fewer rights. CU and DP are partial measures meant to fend off the obvious denial of equal protection under state law. No matter the label, these couples still do not possess 1,138 federal benefits that heterosexual couples enjoy.

There are strict guidelines for entering a CU — parties must be 18 years of age, of same sex, not close family members, and not involved in another CU or marriage. Procedures for dissolving a CU are the same as for divorce of a heterosexual marriage. Divorce action must be filed in a court and the issues of child support, custody, alimony, division of property are determined by a judge.

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"One of the benefits of marriage is divorce," says, Joyce Kauffman, a lawyer who handles same-sex divorce in Massachusetts. She has made some incisive observations about what gay and lesbian married couples go through to achieve a divorce. When these couples split up, they run into barriers of institutional discrimination not experienced by heterosexual couples or in any other area of the law.

Yesterday, we talked about custody issues. Child support in a lesbian divorce action becomes a problem in situations where the former wife has not adopted the children of the biological mother. Without a legal or biological connection, the custodial parent was unable to collect child support. Kauffman strongly advises each party to adopt each other's children so gay couples would be in a similar legal position as straight couples in seeking child support.

Alimony is another area where same-sex couples are treated differently. In Massachusetts, there is equality in marriage for all, but those laws are not applicable in other states, nor at the federal level. Under IRS rules, alimony paid by a heterosexual to an ex-spouse is tax deductible, but the same rules do not apply to same-sex couples, even though they were legally married.

To me, this is unfair and discriminatory. Why should the federal government, the tax office no less, determine that gay alimony is different from straight alimony? This amounts to government sanctioned discrimination rationalized on the basis that their marriages are not recognized by the feds. As divorce attorney David Epperly put it, "federal law looks at gay divorcées as strangers."

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No matter how you cut it, gay and lesbian couples who marry face legal discrimination in seeking divorces. These couples generally do not enjoy the same benefits in divorce as heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples encounter complicated issues regarding a host of issues like custody, alimony, property distribution, taxes, and child support.

I'd written earlier in December of the Rhode Island couple who married in Massachusetts but were denied the right to a Rhode Island divorce. This case has been re-filed in a court with wider jurisdiction in the hope that Rhode Island will recognize their legal marriage.

In reading The Washington Post article about same-sex marriage and divorce, I've come to realize the thorny divorce situations these people endure. One Massachusetts couple is finding child custody a major hurdle in their divorce. These women split after a three-year marriage and it was assumed by the bread winner, a doctor, that she and her ex would divide the marital property and jointly parent their two children.

The stay-at-home spouse wants sole custody and intends to move the children out of state. Adding to the dilemma is the fact that this doctor and her female spouse, each gave birth to one child, fathered by the same sperm donor. They each adopted the other's sons, who are legally full brothers.

What is a court to do when both filed a petition, as the mother of the children, requesting full custody? Courts have a natural inclination to place children with the mother, but here we have two biological mothers.

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