This is one for the record books! A 26-year old Cuban resident must really like marriage but has completely avoided divorce. It is alleged that Eunice Lopez, who landed in the U.S. in 2002, married 10 illegal aliens between 2002-2006, without shedding any previous husbands.

Research by the Miami Herald has uncovered seven more marriages listed under this lady's name and birth date. None of the men had "any type of residency" according to authorities.

The Prosecutor's office alleges she was paid for each marriage and made subsequent demands for money long after the ceremony, threatening to expose their illegal status if they did not pay.

Released on a $18,000 bond, she faces an arraignment January 2 on bigamy charges. One Latino blog calls this an "underground industry" wherein undocumented men can gain legal status by paying citizens for a marriage of convenience. Such things are said to be "common in the Latino community where residents often are asked and offered money to marry [an] undocumented friend of a friend."

There's a flaw in the immigration system. The U.S. policy, allowing all Cubans with one foot on American soil to become legal, seems to be contributing to this "cottage industry." Ms. Lopez isn't the only person working the system. She just went way beyond the usual one-time favor. If she had to go through nine divorces, she'd never have time to get married.

She faces nine counts of bigamy and if she's convicted, five-year prison terms for each count could be imposed. If she's found guilty, I don't think Americans should have to pay for prison time. The best punishment would be for Immigration to deport her back to Cuba. Meanwhile, what will they do about the nine undocumented men who legally weren't married? Should they also be deported? I think so.

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The Ft. Lauderdale Sun Sentinel announced the arrival of electronic filing for divorce in Broward County, Florida. Following the lead of Palm Beach County, the clerk of courts heralded the fact that county residents can file for divorce "without leaving the house."

The self-service divorce system in South Florida allows internet access to official state forms which can be downloaded. This simplifies the paperwork and guides applicants through the process by asking pertinent questions and giving legal definitions to determine which forms they need to file.

Today, the majority of states allow some version of electronic filing for a no-fault divorce. While I applaud the efforts to make divorce more friendly and simple, I have some reservations about the process.

Since no-fault doesn't require proof of wrongdoing by either party, a no-fault divorce is possible if you and your spouse have reached an agreement on dividing marital assets. If there are children, you also have to agree on custody, support, and visitation rights.

This procedure allows a no-fault divorce even if your spouse does not consent. I would feel more comfortable if there was a way to enforce agreement and consent. Some states require both parties to sign the petition for divorce.

I would also be wary filing for divorce using internet forms since there are too many opportunities for error. You can't provide the explanations and the nuances in the answers like you can when an attorney files your paperwork. It may be necessary to go to court to enforce the property agreement for which you'd need an attorney anyway.

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Last week, I discussed the role of parents in divorces of adult children. Now I want to look at the consequences of senior divorces on their adult children and grandchildren.

When Grandma or Grandpa decide to divorce, adult children tend to side with the abandoned parent. When this happens, grandchildren follow the cues of their parents, resulting in estrangement from one grandparent. Adult children have the burden of explaining the divorce to their own children who can worry that their parents will also separate.

Grandparents don't want to become distant from their grandchildren, but family separations do occur. In an article I was reading, one 12-year-old wondered if she would be seeing her Granddad anymore. The answer? "Yes, but not with Grandma." It was awkward for her when Granddad came over since she was closer to her grandmother.

One daughter, angry that her father left her mother, experienced "horror" at meeting his new "companion." Children also wonder if their potential inheritance will be lost to a stranger. Divorcing seniors divide family loyalties, with adult children caught in the middle.

In one family, a grandmother refused to attend the christening of her grandchild because her son had invited her ex-husband's new partner. The son found himself in a no-win situation.

Just as parents of adult divorcing children need to stay neutral and build good fences, there are rules for adult children to follow when their parents divorce.

1. Allow yourself to grieve over your parents' divorce.
2. Let your parents know how you feel to avoid anger from surfacing later.
3. Assure your children they will still see their grandparents.
4. Don't take sides — stay clear and neutral.
5. Don't try to mother or smother either parent with caring advice.

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Anybody who has been through a divorce will admit it's painful, combative and often destructive of future family relationships.

Some splitting couples have found a new approach, called a collaborative divorce (CD) — it minimizes adversarial conflict and avoids litigation. Instead of litigating the various issues in a divorce court, represented by adversarial lawyers, a Minnesota attorney designed CD as a more respectful way.

In CD, the couple meets together with their individual attorneys, and perhaps a joint financial expert, a child specialist and separate divorce coaches, who help assuage the anger and hurt feelings. The CD attorneys, usually members of collaborative practice groups, are found all over the US.

Frank and Stephanie Ellis, separated three years, decided to end their eight-year marriage, taking the CD route. They resolved the custody of their child, but difficult financial issues remained. At the first group meeting, the parties brought an agenda of items. At the second session, they stated their position on each issue. After four sessions, the Ellises finalized their divorce in a fifteen minute meeting.

This is an excellent model for couples who aren't out to hurt each other. It was accomplished in a short time and for less money than if had they gone for a court determination. The cost here was about $14,000. I don't think this is a cheap divorce. Divorces need not cost that much, providing the parties have already agreed on major points of contention.

In CD, if the team of counselors cannot find a solution, the two attorneys withdraw and each party secures trial attorneys to litigate the unresolved matters. The costs will mount, and hard feelings and positions will ratchet up.

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I wrote previously about the challenges faced by orthodox Israeli women when they attempt to secure a get — a religious-sanctioned divorce.

The Jerusalem Post did an in-depth interview with Rabbi Ben-Dahan, Administrative Head Rabbi of the Rabbinical courts. Ben-Dahan points out that divorcing couples with mutually acceptable agreements win a get in two months. But he admits that about four percent of the cases take longer than one year to resolve.

Rachel Azaria, director of Mavoi Satum, an organization which advocates for and aids women who have been denied a get, states there are thousands of women left in limbo. This group asserts that many husbands who refuse a get for their spouses go on to live with other women.

Azaria believes the rabbis have tools to use against recalcitrant husbands. The court can freeze the husband's bank accounts, revoke driver's license or send them to prison.

I think these men use "financial blackmail," hoping to talk their wives out of support, division of property and child support. Women, willing to give up their rights, finally end up with a divorce. Or, wives with greater financial means buy themselves out of a marriage.

I read in The Christian Science Monitor that the rabbinate acknowledges there are between a few dozen and 200 dead-ended cases at any one time. Others say those numbers are incorrect.

It is clear to me that women in the Israel orthodox community enjoy an inferior status. In hearings for a get, women are told to sit and listen, be quiet and allow the husband to present his side only. Because of the number of complaints, the rabbinate called a conference to address the get issues but women and media were to be excluded. Because of dissension, the conference was canceled.

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Mike Wells, Esq., writing in the Winston-Salem Journal, has keyed in on some important strategies to prepare for divorce. When couples marry, they don't anticipate the possibility of divorce. Yet almost 50% of all marriage end up broken.

If measures have been taken to mend a troubled marriage and the outcome seems hopeless, both parties need to take steps to prepare for a legal split. Wells stresses that at this time enlisting the advice of a domestic-law attorney is essential.

Conferring with counsel does not mean you will file for divorce, but the attorney could lay out the options open to you including how to protect yourself financially. Part of the process is inventorying the marital assets and start to figure out your life afterward, if divorce is inevitable.

If you are the victim of abuse and violence, time becomes of the essence in order to protect yourself and your children from these dysfunctional acts. You must prepare to get out.

Most experts agree, that once the decision to divorce is made, don't make foolish decisions regarding marital property. These matters require careful negotiations and should never be the result of a rash judgment in order to escape an emotionally-draining situation.

Some women have been left with little or no money to finance a divorce, after spouses have cleaned out checking and savings accounts. It then becomes difficult for women to negotiate divorce settlements from a position of equality. If a peaceful and equitable settlement can be arranged, that is the best and cheapest way to go. Two lawyers, pursuing client disputes over minor issues, raises the cost. It also depletes assets and denies resources to the children of the marriage.

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The Sydney Morning Herald reported recently that Australians are divorcing less than they did six years ago.

Today's divorce rate of 2.5 per 1,000 people is down slightly from 2.9 per 1,000 in 2001.

I'm not sure this is good news, as fewer divorces doesn't mean more long-term happy unions.

The slight decline in Australia — and in the U.S. — is due to several factors:

1. A decline in the number of marriages, possibly resulting in fewer divorces.
2. The practice of co-habiting has grown.
3. There is a decrease in the tendency of divorced persons to remarry.

Still, one in three Australian marriages end in divorce. The most likely divorce candidates are in marriages just over twelve years, men aged 40-44, and women 35-39.

For men it may be a mid-life crisis: they aren't achieving their life goals, and seek new adventures with younger partners. A third of all Australian divorces occur in marriages of five years or less.

While Australian divorces follow the same trend of Western countries, the U.S. still has the highest rate of divorce. Despite a slight decline, the U.S. rate is between 40-50% of marriages. Experts believe that young people marrying for the first time are at the greatest risk for divorce during the first five years of marriage.

In the U.S., marriage rates have declined almost 50% since 1970, from 76.5 per 1,000 to 39.9 per 1,000, at the end of 2006. In 2005, 51% of women were living without a spouse. Women and men are waiting longer to marry.

You may think cohabitation is the way out if you want to avoid divorce, but it's not sure-fire: co-habiting couples have twice the break up rate of married couples. (We just don't call it a divorce.)

In the end, there is only one sure-fire way to avoid divorce: Don't get married.

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First Wives World readers have already learned that divorce rates in England have declined about 7%. Could this be happening in the U.S. too?

Dr. Janet Belsky, Professor of Psychology and an expert on life span development suggests that the 50/50 divorce ratio in the U.S. is leaning more in favor of marital success than it did before. She attributes this to an aging population, since people tend to divorce when they are younger.

I'm not so sure about this: We hear of many divorces taking place after 25 years, when children have left home. Research cited in the New York Times, however, shows about 60% of all divorces occur during the first decade of marriage.

There also seems to be a correlation between divorce and education. Data shows that the divorce rate for college graduates during the first 10 years of marriage dropped to 16% for those married between 1990 and 1994.

When Dr. Belsky polled her students at Middle Tennessee State University, she found that 50% had divorced parents and grew up in single-parent homes. Students, well aware of the divorce statistics, express an unwillingness to marry at a young age, preferring to put off marriage until they're well-established in their career. Marriage comes last as an "adult transition," sometimes after the decision to have children.

Divorce rates may be affected as people postpone marriage; it's true that waiting to marry may result in lower chances of getting married. If fewer people marry, it's likely to affect divorce rates.

I'm not so sure, though, about the aging population explanation. I just don't believe that getting married in later life necessarily results in fewer divorces.

Whatever the reason, if the divorce rate is really leveling off, it's a good thing. What do you think?

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Moroccan women made significant progress when that country enacted a law affording women some measure of equality in marriage and divorce.

Since 2004, women can file for divorce for "irreconcilable differences," without showing proof. Courts are obligated to grant the divorce within six months. Under the old law, only men could initiate divorce, called "repudiation," which could drag on for 10 to 15 years. Wives had to prove they were mistreated and many chose to purchase a divorce, ending up depleting their funds and losing their rights.

Despite some progress there is a lack of equity, with women's associations calling for a fairer application of the new law. Securing spousal agreement on the sharing of assets of the marriage is as difficult a process as in the U.S. Without an agreement, courts will allocate the assets according to amounts each spouse contributed.

The vast majority of Moroccan women have few assets. To marry they have to get the consent of a male family member and with the age of marriage allowed at 15, now raised to 18, women are typically asset-poor. Moroccan women want their housework to count as a job and contribution to the marriage. We hardly practice this concept in the U.S.

Women are demanding that the property settlement should be automatically allocated by a judge, not based on any agreement. However a negative in this situation remains the judges of newly established Family Courts: They're chiefly men who lack familiarity with the reforms. They are products of their education and steeped in their traditional culture where women are supposed to obey their husbands who are their guardians. Judges in Morocco tend to misinterpret the divorce reforms and often opt for reconciliation over divorce.

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Married couples contemplating a split always wonder if they can afford a divorce. Divorce costs in the United States vary, but one expert estimates a cost range of between $10,000 and $15,000, with an average of $15,000. There are too many variables to nail down specific numbers since it depends upon the expertise and experience of the attorney you engage. Savvy divorce attorneys may charge $400 or $500 per hour plus expenses. Others could start as low as $165 per hour.

The hourly rate of the attorney is not the only cost to consider. The court filing fees, the number of issues to be litigated, the number of legal filings, cost of appraisers, expert witnesses and use of a mediator all add to the total. Contested divorces can take a year or more to settle while the cost meter keeps running.

For an uncontested divorce with few issues involved, the cheapest way to uncouple is to use the do-it-yourself forms on the Internet. This method will cost about $300. I do not recommend this route because it is best that each party have an attorney to make sure mistakes are not made.

Mediation is another cost saver. Experienced in family law, mediators can usually sort out matters in less than eight hours and the cost is about $5,000. It is advisable that each party have an attorney.

You can minimize attorney hourly fees by keeping a few things in mind:

1. Secure required tax forms, mortgage and financial information.
2. Don’t call the attorney constantly with questions. Save them up for one call.
3. Try talking to a junior attorney with lower hourly fees.
4. Negotiate and settle issues with your spouse in advance.
5. If negotiation is not possible, have your attorney negotiate a settlement outside of court.
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