Britney Spears is one busy chick. She's getting divorced, she's getting hospitalized, she's losing her kids. Now she's thinking about converting to Islam in order to marry her bodyguard, Adnan Ghalib. This would be her third marriage, and she just turned 26.

Where does she find the time?

Britney has apparently discussed running away Ghalib, getting herself a good plastic surgeon to drastically change her appearance, and even faking her own death. This is the same woman who went out to the mall with her new beau wearing her wedding dress from her previous wedding. Also the woman who briefly converted to Kabbalah because she wanted to be like Madonna.

According to Muslim tradition, Ghalib can marry whomever he wants — Muslim or otherwise — as long as he determines the religion in which the children are raised, but social pressure to marry within the faith is strong. I'm sure K-Fed's going to have a ball with this one.

Britney says what she has with Ghalib is the real deal. "He's the only one who understands me," she says.

Of that, my dearest Britney, we have no doubt.

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I was reading a really charming news bite today — note my tongue planted firmly in my cheek — saying that the rapper Snoop Dogg has decided that he's not going to divorce his wife after all. He filed for divorce in 2004 and has decided it's time to come home.

Isn't that nice? He's coming home to play Daddy again. Why is he doing this? I know you're dying to know. He started off well, indicating that he'd gotten caught up in Hollywood and women and the whole associated lifestyle. He said he realized what he had at home was irreplaceable. Sweet, huh?

Um, no. He went on to say, "I just don't want another man raising my kids. That was the main goal." For the benefit of the folks at home, I'll repeat that. "The main goal". What? Maybe he thinks that sounds responsible, like he wants to be the one to raise them and groom them and teach them how to be respectable tax-paying members of society. What it says to me is that he doesn't want anyone else to get the credit for raising the Snooplets.

Let's be honest. I have a Google News Alert on my name, and I'm guessing Mrs. Snoop has the same thing, both for herself and for her adoring husband. Google lasts forever, people. Watch what you say in print.

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Gay marriage is in the news a lot lately. Where I live — in Ontario, Canada — gay marriage has been legal for a few years now. Even the most homophobic of Ontario citizens have simply gotten used to the fact that we consider all love equal.

In Scotland, though, the same can't be said. Bryan Morgan and Richard Brown of Saltcoats, Scotland, have filed for divorce just 18 months after their marriage. Apparently, they have been the victims of numerous verbal and physical attacks.

While it is tragic that gay men and women are the victims of verbal abuse, many have come to expect it. In no way do I condone verbal abuse, but gay people all over the world understand that people just aren't very tolerant. But physical abuse? Attacks and violence and vandalism? Where are the police?

"Gangs of up to 15 youths were outside shouting abuse, throwing bricks and trying to break my door down," says Bryan. Gangs now? Bricks?

Like pioneers for women's rights, religious rights, and ethnic rights, pioneers for gay rights are being persecuted just like others were in the most abominable times in human history. It shocks me that this behavior continues in a first world country with an apparent democracy. Whether these perpetrators like it or not, the Scottish government has made gay marriage legal.

I am disgusted.

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