I think we can all say with relative certainty that divorce sucks. Unfortunately, the fact that it sucks discounts neither its reality nor its necessity. Holland's first divorce fair is a good indicator of that.

Following in the footsteps of the Austrian divorce fair last year, mediators, lawyers, financial planners and others convened in the Netherlands to create a one-stop shop for divorcing couples. In addition to the usual suspects, there were booths for dating services, paternity testing, and "divorce planners," who are less like wedding planners and more like financial advisors.

That the world needs another divorce fair does not surprise me. When it comes to divorce, little surprises me anymore. What surprises me is the attitude of those getting divorced. Elsbeth van den Berg, founder of a Dutch divorce Web site, says that couples treat each other horribly during the divorce process. "People feel rejected, neglected, and the only thing they want to do is not to say ‘I feel sad'. No, they want to say ‘I'm going to hurt you, like you hurt me.'"

Seriously, why does this happen? Across the world, 50 percent of married couples get divorced. We have to know that there's at least a chance it will happen to us. Why do we spend so much time raging? Why are we so hell-bent on revenge? Why do we spend so much more time hating him than we do loving ourselves? Why is spiritual divorce the exception, rather than the rule?

One of the attendees, an unmarried man there to get information for a divorcing friend, said "As far as I'm concerned, I think marriage is a failed institution. I think joining this failed institution is a waste of time. You don't need a piece of paper to say that you're in a relationship."

We've written more than once on First Wives World about the traumatic effects that divorce has on children. Many readers and writers here have experienced for themselves the dramatic changes in their kids' behavior, school performance and relationships.

On the other hand, many men and women who have gone through a divorce themselves have struggled to find ways to cope and even thrive in the post-divorce period. Marvin Gaye wrote an album about it. Anastasia Royal wrote a novel. And Libby Rees wrote a self-help book — when she was 10.

"Help, Hope & Happiness" was a "runaway success," offering advice and encouragement to children going through their parents' divorce. When Libby was going through it herself — her parents divorced five years ago — she said that she received a lot of support from the adults in her life. The problem was, she — and others like her — feel that parents and other adults are just telling children what they want to hear. She felt there was a huge gap in information for children old enough to understand what was going on, but still too young to really know how to handle it.

Turns out, she was right. Her book has been translated into five languages, and she's taking part in a television series based on the information she gives.

So what did she do to get through the hard times? "One of the first things I did was go for walks to help me think more clearly. I would pick up a stick, label it with whatever was worrying me that day, then fling it away. It was my way of distancing myself from it."