When I was a little girl, my father used to call me his "petit chou," apparently a French term of endearment that translates to "little cabbage." I thought he was being offensive. He thought I was being provincial. Sadly, folks, it gets far worse than cabbage in Syria.

An Islamic man just divorced his wife at their wedding reception because she called him her little donkey. Let that sink in for a minute.

The wife had selected an Arabic song that includes the line, "I love you, my little donkey" as their first dance. She apparently kept singing and singing, and in so doing, called her groom a donkey over and over.

Hubby didn't like it, and demanded the DJ change the song. The DJ refused, as this was the song the wife had chosen, and left the record playing. The enraged husband grabbed the microphone and yelled "Talaq! Talaq! Talaq!" ("I divorce you! I divorce you! I divorce you!") to the amazement of the crowd.

According to Islamic law, if a man says this three times, he's divorced. Done. Over. Just like that. In January, I wrote about a man who did this over the public address system in the supermarket, and men are starting to do it by text message. Why can't my divorce can't be this easy?

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To celebrate the week of Valentine's Day, CBS News ran a comprehensive report on the state of marriage and divorce in America. I was expecting to be depressed, or maybe hopeful. I ended up being both.

First, there were stats. The seven-year itch has turned into the eight-year itch, which is progress, I guess. The average age for a first marriage has increased dramatically, which is a hopeful sign — when you're older, there's supposed to be a better chance you know what you're getting yourself into. People of both genders are more educated more now than they have ever been through the entire of human history, which helps. These are good things.

Then the not-so-good. Hidden in the second page of the article are some legal tales from the trenches. Divorce attorneys are saying that people have come to anticipate the high cost of divorce and are often going out of their way to make things more unpleasant for their soon-to-be ex. "It's one thing to get a really good gun, it's another to get lots of ammo with it," said one lawyer. "And when you're really, really mad, and you have the money to do something about it, that's what wars are made of."

His favorite horror story? Valentine's Day. "Having the process server specifically told, 'I want to make sure you get to her on Valentine's Day.' And then if you really want to rub salt in it, they have them film it. Believe it or not, they've done that! To where 'I want to be able to watch it, I want to see it. I want sound'." Sound, people. They want to hear what happens when their spouse's life falls apart on Valentine's Day.

And before anybody gets it in their head that it's men doing this, think again. Two thirds of divorces are filed by women. It's not just the guys being mean, so we can all drop the "men are evil" act right now.

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