Perhaps you’d like to make an appointment with a divorce lawyer for the first week in October. Forget it. The first week of October is when lawyers who specialize in separation, divorce, and custody issues will be going to Scottsdale, Arizona, to play golf.

Well, they also go to sit through a series of Mandatory Continuing Legal Education lectures. Most states require their lawyers to bundle up the spouse and rug rats and travel to some far off destination to sit through lectures and earn continuing education credits.

In some cases, MCLE points can also be earned if lawyers listen to audio CDs, or do interactive online coursework, or — old school — actually read some printed matter.

The idea is that they keep up with what’s new in their field.

So what’s new in Family Law?

The American Bar Association conference at the Camelback Inn in Scottsdale is offering the following courses for CLE credit:

• (At Least) 10 Things Every Family Lawyer Should Know about Assisted Reproductive Technology Law. Issues like who’s the mother, who’s the father, and who gets custody of the embryos.

• Retirement Benefits, Part 1 (led by a QDRO expert, as in Qualified Domestic Relations Order, the thing that gives a spouse a right to the other spouse’s pension benefits.)

• Retirement Benefits, Part II (ERISA, Employee Retirement Income Security Act, which applies to COBRA for health insurance, retirement and other benefits)

• Understanding the Sweeping Changes to the Bankruptcy Code as it Affects Divorce and Divorcing Parties (Just as it says)

• Ethical Consideration in Collaborative Law: Can I Do It? Should I Do It? Where Are the Potholes? (This one is a puzzler… lawyers are concerned that they can’t or shouldn’t do collaborative divorces… like what? What potholes? That they have to promise not to take the case to court?)

The divorce news from London is confusing.

First we were told that divorces were increasing because of bad economic times. The men who were out of work were rushing to get divorced, it was said, while their incomes were nonexistent. And the women who were married to still-employed husbands were rushing to get divorced while their husbands were still making big bucks.

As a rationale, those don’t really wash, since either spouse can apply to have maintenance and support adjusted as circumstances change.

And now there’s been a national study in the UK, and it turns out the divorce rate in England and Wales last year was the lowest it has been in 26 years, despite the travails of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills.

The rate fell to 11.9 divorces per thousand married people in 2007 — the lowest since 1981 — compared to 12.2 per thousand married people in 2006, according to the British Office for National Statistics.

“Since 1997 the average age at divorce in England and Wales has risen from 40.2 to 43.7 years for men and from 37.7 to 41.2 years for women, partly reflecting the rise in age at marriage,” the report said.

Divorces in the United States reached their peak in 1981 (blame the 70s) as well, with 5.3 per thousand of the total population. (In an apples to apples comparison, the United States has a higher divorce rate than Great Britain.)

The American divorce rate has been sinking ever since, hitting around 3.6 per thousand of the total population in 2005, the most recent year for which figures are available. U.S. figures are gathered from 46 states and the District of Columbia. Four states (California, Colorado, Indiana, and Louisiana) do not report divorce statistics.

So is Divorce Party a novel about a husband and wife who plan to announce their divorce at a party to celebrate their 35th anniversary?

Or is it a movie comedy to be made by Jennifer Aniston?

Or is Divorce Party a television reality show that will show a husband and wife following divorce, and then ask audience members American Idol-style to vote on which spouse was responsible for the breaking up? The “winning” spouse, the one who is not voted as responsible, will win cash.

The answer is that it’s all three.

The novel, written by Laura Dave, is set in Montauk, at the end of Long Island, and it’s about the end of a marriage. As the book puts it, it looks at “the moment toward the end … when you realize that there is something behind this person’s eyes that you were never able to touch, no matter how hard you tried. You can only guess at it, where things really end … where they really begin…”

A second story line follows the divorcing couple’s son, who is about to introduce his commitment-phobic fiancée, no doubt to be played by Jennifer Aniston in the movie.

The movie? Aniston and her partner, Kristin Hahn, optioned the novel before it was even published. If things move forward, Aniston will star in the film, which will be made at Universal and released in 2010. "We're drawn to stories about people finding their voice and finding their way,” she told Variety.

But she turns 40 next year, so Aniston will either have to play a cougar dating a younger man, or change the script to make it a 40th anniversary party.

And that reality TV show? Not nearly so high brow.

The third pilot has been been shot in Dallas for Divorce Party, which was created by Bobby Goldstein, a former divorce lawyer who is behind such classy WB reality shows as Cheaters: Totally Busted?

Married men are 7 percent more likely than married women to commit adultery. And when a man has an affair, he doesn’t seem to consider the consequences of his actions. So says a study to be published in the fall, “So What Did You Do Last Night? The Economics of Infidelity.”

Infidelity for women peaks at 45, the study found. For men, it peaks at age 55.

Gee, what 55-year-old confessed adulterer has been in the news this week?

John Edwards, who claimed a week ago that he at least had been “99 percent honest” in his statements about the young filmmaker Reille Hunter.

“… [A] wealthy, famous politician such as John Edwards is a man with plenty of opportunity, and it seems that he gave the costs of getting caught little consideration. [That] fits well with our findings,” Bruce Elmslie, an economics professor in the Whittemore School of Business and Economics at the University of New Hampshire and a co-author of the study, told Firstwivesworld.

The study, co-written with Edinaldo Tebaldi, assistant professor of economics at Bryant University in Rhode Island, was based on data from the United States General Social Survey.

It is unusual in that it looks at infidelity from a cost-benefit analysis, rather than a sociological or psychological point of view.

Other points made in their study:

1. Men who are more likely to commit adultery:
• Live in cities (where there is greater opportunity to escape discovery)
• Do not have a college degree
• Do not belong to any particular socioeconomic group

2. What men do not take into account when having an affair:
• The economic status of the new woman, or her ability to bear children
• Their wife’s educational level
• Religion

"As with spousal education, men don't weigh the costs — spousal quality or eternal damnation — when deciding whether or not to have an affair," Elmslie said.

The gossip was right. A month ago, it was reported that Shaquille O’Neal and his supposedly estranged wife, Shaunie O’Neal, were back on the same team. They were spotted applying a full-court press on the beach in the Cayman Islands.

And now, nearly a year after filing for divorce, Shaunie O’Neal says they have changed their minds. Shaq’s divorce petition, filed in Miami in September, 2007, said their marriage was “irretrievably broken.”

Apparently, that was only a brief time out.

"Neither one of us could probably answer why we were getting one in the first place," Shaunie told AP.

and for the new web site Shaunie is launching, this marks the end to the sometimes hilarious charges, suspicions, and counter charges.While it’s good news for the institution of marriage, and for the four children they have together — Shareef, 7, Amirah, 5, Shaqir, 4, and Me'Arah, 1 —

Babies out of wedlock while they were married (him), an affair with a female trainer (her), stashing money (her), selling their Star Island mansion in Miami in November to A-Rod, and apparently telling him a thing or two about divorce (him), selling items on eBay (her), and a new contract with the Phoenix Suns (him).

There was a prenuptial agreement when they married in December, 2005. Shaq’s divorce petition gave her physical custody (considering his new home in Phoenix, and his traveling schedule, that’s only logical) and allowed him liberal visitation rights.

Now Shaunie says that they plan to blow the whistle on the divorce proceedings. "Things have been going so great, that someone actually had to remind us that 'Hey, you do remember those papers are still there.' Literally, it was days ago," Shaunie said.

"So, we've agreed that before we leave Florida in a few days we'll make sure that that's gone away."

Unless all this has just been one big free throw.

The man who abducted his seven-year-old daughter in Boston last month was arrested in Baltimore over the weekend, and the girl was returned to her mother. On Tuesday the father was charged in a Boston court with felony parental kidnapping, assault and battery. He was held without bail.

And then the mysteries deepened.

Who is "Clark Rockefeller"? Could he be wanted in California under another name? Is he, as he presented himself, a secret agent? Or is he, as investigators believe, a former German exchange student? 

Another question: How could his ex-wife, Sandra Boss, a high-powered executive at the London office of McKinsey & Co., be deceived by such a shady character? Actually, any woman who has ever been wooed by a psychopath will know the answer to that one.

The London papers reported that Boss, who made more than $1 million a year, paid "Rockefeller" $1.5 million last year in exchange for exclusive custody of their daughter, Reigh.

The sticking point for shared custody, Boss said, was that she wanted to see "Clark Rockefeller's" valid birth certificate, and to know, finally, who her husband of 12 years really was.

He refused to reveal his identity, took the money, and began plotting their daughter's abduction, including buying an apartment in Baltimore under another assumed name.

She, finally sure that he wasn't a Rockefeller, changed their daughter's last name to Boss.

The actress Maria Bello, 41, just announced an interest in marriage, thanks to her 28-year-old artist-waiter boyfriend, Bryn Mooser. Ladies, it's our turn.

An AARP poll of 3,500 single people found that one-third of women between 40 and 69 were dating younger men. And not just a few months younger — at least eight years younger. (More than half of the women in the 2003 poll were divorced or separated.)

Move over Samantha and boy toy model/actor Smith.

What do younger men have to offer? You have to ask?

Oh, what do older women have to offer? Just about everything: experience, sense of humor, good income, nice home, oh, an experience. As several young men said, “They know what they want in bed.”

And it’s not women who are prowling like cougars for younger men. It’s usually the man who makes the moves.

In last week's episode of "Weeds," the cult hit starring Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, her teenage son hangs around a cheese shop and then seduces the attractive cheese-monger-ess, who says, predictably, that she's old enough to be his mother.

Mary-Louise Parker, who turned 44 last week, is an object of some obsession for many young men, including some in their teens. And she’s a practicing “older” woman. She had a child with her boyfriend of seven years, Billy Crudup, who was four years her junior, and most recently was engaged to Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who is two years younger.

Demi Moore, who turns 46 in November, and Aston Kutcher, who just turned 30? They've been married for three years now. No biggie.

There are websites with names like gocougar.com and dateacougar.com that match older women with younger men.

It is every divorced mother’s nightmare: that her ex-husband might kidnap their child. That’s exactly what happened on Sunday to Sandra L. Boss, a sophisticated and youthful looking 41-year-old. Her 7-year-old daughter, Reigh (pronounced Ray), was snatched while on a supervised visit with her father in Boston.

Boss had married Clark Rockefeller in the early 90s. It turns out that the Rockefeller name, as with many things about the man, was a ruse.

He was a faker, a well educated con man, and definitely a liar.

Even their wedding date – 1994, 1995 -- and place (Nantucket?) seems hard to verify.

Police say they have his date of birth, February 29, 1960, but the fact that it is Leap Year’s Day makes even that suspicious.

The New York Post, in fact, said the FBI put his age at 58, not 48.

His social security number, obtained only three years ago in Connecticut, where as far as anyone knows he has never lived, is apparently false.

The father has not, as far as anyone knows, ever worked.

The mother, meanwhile, was by all accounts a superbly educated and hard working career woman at the international management consultant McKinsey & Co.

But even a Harvard education, which she had, and a deep analytical mind don't prepare someone for a con man like “Rockefeller.”

In fact, the more well-educated and intelligent, the easier a person is to deceive.

The ex-wife of a former NBA referee convicted of gambling can breathe a sigh of relief. She stood by her ex, even after their divorce was final, throughout the long process of bringing him to justice. And yesterday he was sentenced to only 15 months in prison.

Tim and Kim Donaghy remain friends, and both are close to their four daughters, ages 6 to 11.

Their relationship exemplifies what we at FWW see as a good divorce, although under extraordinary circumstances. The Donaghys have kept their daughters’ interests in mind, requesting he serve his time in a prison near the ex-wife’s home in Bradenton, Florida.

Tim Donaghy has been contributing to his daughters’ support. His sentence punishes not only him, but them. He will not be able to provide anything for the 15 months he will be in prison.

Tim Donaghy pled guilty last fall to two counts of gambling: providing inside information about injured basketball players to two co-defendants, his old high school friends, and placing bets on games he officiated. It is forbidden for referees to gamble.

Guidelines would have given him a sentence of 27 to 33 months in prison. His lawyer said, in Donaghy’s defense, that he was a compulsive gambler. He resigned from the NBA last year.

Referees in the NBA are barred from any sort of gambling except for betting at race tracks during the off-season. The referee contract also specifies that they are not allowed to tell anyone (outside of their immediate family) where they are going, or which games they are scheduled to work.

A recent poll of people who attend Catholic Mass in England and Wales found that, despite their beliefs in the Church, they feel that "separation or divorce is better than an unhappy marriage between incompatible people." The poll also showed that the majority of those interviewed used contraception and cohabited before marriage, despite the Church's teachings.

The Von Hugel Institute at Cambridge University conducted the poll of 1,500 practicing Catholics, which found that more than half of those between 18 and 45 had lived together before marriage.

Francis Davies, of the Institute, said, "What is surprising is the scale of which people in the survey decided not to follow the teaching. The majority cohabited before marriage; the majority use contraception."

As for separation and divorce, 71 percent of the practicing Catholic interviewed felt it was better than an unhappy marriage, while 88 percent said they knew that the Catholic Church considers marriage "a lifelong commitment despite any difficulties."

That survey results come as comfort to Catholic women who have thought about divorce, but donít want to go against the teachings of the Church.

It seems that, in the United Kingdom at least, good Catholics can believe in the Church and still leave a failed marriage.