Just how do women get through infidelity in marriage? Does infidelity always lead to divorce?

These are questions the media and armchair pundits are pondering in the aftermath of the Spitzer sex scandal. Psychologists and academics say the obligation to remain sexually faithful to one's spouse continues to carry a lot of weight, at least in the U.S. In France and Italy, it's something else altogether. But in the U.S., among all the marital problems one can have, infidelity is the one most likely to lead to divorce.

Sociologists' research on infidelity shows that men are routinely motivated by sex, while women stray outside the bounds of marriage in search of emotional intimacy, the kind they're not receiving from their spouse. Yes, more men than women cheat, but the numbers are increasing for both genders.

In fact, a 1994 study by sociologist Edward Lauman found that 10 percent to 11 percent of spouses had cheated in the previous year; over a lifetime, the study revealed about 18 percent of women and 24 percent of men reported an extramarital affair. More recently, a 2006 Pew Research Center survey found that nearly 90 percent of participants said it's morally wrong for married individuals to have an affair, which may or may not involve sex. Nearly the same percentage said adultery is morally wrong.

Notably, experts say that wives are more likely to forgive a cheating spouse and remain in the marriage particularly if the infidelity was committed with a prostitute or a one-night stand, versus a mistress or someone with whom a longer-term emotional bond was formed. However men are much less forgiving of their cheating wives; most don't tolerate their wives' indiscretions and view infidelity as a statement about their manhood.

The hand-wringing over Silda Wall Spitzer's future with her now defamed husband, the governor of New York, has officially begun. Newspapers, talk radio, TV pundits, therapists and armchair shrinks — yeah, that's you and me and all of us — all chipping in with our two cents.

Silda, Silda, Silda... Whatever was she thinking standing by her cheatin' hubby, the gov of New York? Well, she and the gov are married for 20 years. They have three kids together. She shelved her prestigious and lucrative legal career to raise the kids and to be a dutiful political wife. She's also a passionate philanthropist and organizer, having founded a children's advocacy program (Children for Children), among other activities.

This is a dynamic woman. She is no fool. Will her children, three beautiful girls, ever be able to trust the men in their lives? What message does it send to them if she stays?

All bets are off on Silda's marriage. Yep. In what's likely to become the Super Bowl of divorces, I anticipate a separation and divorce proceedings to begin within six to eight months, or at least before the end of 2008.

Oprah spoke with M. Gary Neuman, author and founder of the Sandcastles Program, a program for kids ages six to 17 designed to help them cope with their parents' separation or divorce.

On the show, Oprah and Neuman spoke with kids about the pain of their parents' divorces. In one case, a mother left her two kids in the care of their father, but the pain of her abandonment and rejection remained fresh as both the boy and girl wept openly over the loss.

Kids tend to feel responsible for the rejection of the parent who abandoned them, Neuman said. He told the two siblings on the show that they didn't make their mom go away and they can't make her return.

Neuman told the audience that if kids don't let their emotions out at the time of the split, they will become damaged adults. Frequently boys grow up to experience rage, girls experience chronic depression. "Kids heal through love and connection," Neuman said. "They blame themselves after divorce and secretly think they can fix the divorce."

Neuman said parents should hold their tongues and never criticize one another in front of the kids. Parents should speak to their kids frankly when they have decided to divorce and allow them to ask questions. Spend time listening and talking and afterward, have everyone hold hands and hug.

For more information on Neuman's Sandcastles program, click here.

First Wives World has a terrific column featured on About.com's Guide to Divorce Support. The Guide's coordinator, Cathy Meyer, graciously asked our own Debbie Nigro to write a guest column for a series she's running this week on "Moving On."

Well, guess what? No one has more experience with movin' on and movin' up than Debbie, who has successfully reinvented her personal and professional life, post-divorce, with incredible energy and verve. She's resilient, and so are you!

In fact, that's the message of her piece on About called "A Formula For Getting Back to Great." It's all about women being in control of their destiny and plodding ahead, putting one foot in front of the other to embrace the present and, of course, the future.

Cathy and her team of experts are providing valuable information and resources that can help get you through. In fact, About has everything from chat rooms where you can swap ideas and information, to advice columns on dating, legal and financial issues and tips on how to deal with your kids in a divorce. They've got everything!

So check it out...but stay tuned to FirstWivesWorld.com because we're on the cusp of some exciting plans that will help you navigate divorce no matter what stage you're in--in fact, we're going to get you through each phase not only with useful resources and support from other women, but you'll be there with a smile on your face because we've got some fun, new shows that will entertain and tickle you as you discover that your best self lies ahead...

Yes, stay tuned. We can't wait...! And, check out Debbie's column here.

The pro wrestling world remains in shock and mourning over the strange case of WWE star Chris Benoit who is believed to have strangled his wife Nancy and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room. Authorities found the family dead in their multimillion dollar Atlanta home on Monday.

Was it a steroid-induced rage that triggered this horrific crime? That’s what authorities, friends, family members and investigators are trying to figure out. The bizarre situation appeared to unfold over the weekend at the Benoit home.

Meanwhile, Nancy Benoit started divorce proceedings in May of 2003 claiming domestic abuse, according to The Atlanta-Journal Constitution. In fact, in her divorce petition, Nancy alleged that Chris caused, “extensive damage to the home and personal belongings of the parties, including furniture and furnishings." At the time, Nancy sought custody of the couple's child and filed a request for a restraining order.

However, she failed to have the divorce and protective petitions dropped in August of 2003.

This is such a bizarre case and so unfortunate. Whether drug-induced or not, violence against women isn't acceptable. Nancy, it seems, was living with a ticking time bomb.

Click here for more.

A court case in India takes on one of the toughest marital issues of all—mothers-in-law.

The Delhi High Court recently ruled that if a woman leaves her husband’s home because she can’t get along with her mother-in-law, the action is the equivalent of desertion.

Say what?

Apparently, the court decided that in such situations, a husband can seek a divorce if his efforts to bring about a détente between his mother and wife fail.

The decision was sparked by a case involving a couple who had married in 1980 and soon after the birth of their son in 1981, the wife left home because she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law. Apparently in India, mothers-in-law commonly live with married couples.

Can you imagine? Are there any circumstances where living with your mother-in-law is good? Okay, maybe if she’s fun, helps take care of the kids and is genuinely a doll!

In the Indian case, the husband apparently tried to convince his wife to return, but she refused unless the mother-in-law went away. The man tried to obtain a divorce but his plea was rejected in 1996; the trial court held that he was guilty of deserting his wife.

The man moved his case to the high court and witnesses testified that the man had tried to reunite his family, but that his wife kept refusing to return unless the mother-in-law was sent away.

First of all, I can’t imagine a law siding with mothers-in-law. This case is a striking example of differences between Western and South Asian cultures. It’s stunning that the Indian court sees mothers-in-law as a fundamental part of the family and marriage. I wonder though, does the law apply in reverse to the woman’s mother, i.e., the husband’s mother-in-law?

Mmm.

For more on this story, click here

A new book on Hillary Clinton due out June 5 reports that Bill Clinton wanted to split in 1989 but Hillary worried about being a single mother and declined to offer him a divorce.

In the book, A Woman in Charge: The Life of Hillary Rodham Clinton former Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein writes that prior to the end of his last term as governor of Arkansas, Bill fell in love with Little Rock executive Marilyn Jo Jenkins and sought a divorce.

Hillary’s best friend, the late Diane Blair, told Bernstein that Clinton worried about supporting her daughter. "What if she were on her own? She didn't own a house. She was concerned that if she were to become a single parent, how would she make it work in a way that would be good for Chelsea," Blair said, according to the book.

In addition, Hillary allegedly told Bill’s chief of staff, Betsey Wright, divorce wasn’t in the cards, saying, "There are worse things than infidelity." Oh my. Is that true? Are there worse things than infidelity in a relationship?

Bernstein’s book also advances the idea that Hillary thought her husband's election as president in 1992 would save their marriage because his cheating tendencies would be greatly reduced living under intense media scrutiny.

Interestingly, Bernstein describes Hillary's decision to run for U.S. Senate from New York in 2000 as an attempt to seek redemption --"hers, her husband's, and the Clinton presidency's."

And here’s another nugget: Bernstein’s book reports that it took Hillary Clinton more than two years to decide to marry Bill Clinton, largely because of her concerns that he would be unfaithful to her. She began her marriage knowing that, in Bernstein's words, "he was beyond her control when it came to other women."