When you’ve been divorced or are at its precipice, considering a new relationship is often a challenge, unless of course there’s one in the background. It can seem like too much work: “How can I go through this again?", "How can I ever trust anyone again?”, “What’s the point anyway?” or life seems to have become a “Mission Impossible.” (BOMP BOMP bom bom.BOMP BOMP bom bom ... )

Some women after divorce hurl themselves into new relationships, rebounding or experimenting. Some women wait, but others actively search. Some find all the excitement of love with a new man, (or sometimes a woman), and sometimes even without looking the perfect partner appears. (;-)

My new relationship began because FWW appeared. I wasn’t looking. And now I’m excited about you, blog readers. My heartbeats are noticeably present and pounding. My cheeks have higher color. I feel a briskness (no, not a brisket!) in my high heeled or cowboy booted walk, even when I’m not stalking a Starbucks for something besides the coffee ...

It’s you I want to get to know, want to reach, want to learn from. And, as with any relationship, I hope you feel the same way. ("lubDUB. lubDUB.)

I’m here in cyberspace to find you, hear you, and “get” you. What is it that you want? What are you looking for? How determined are you? How much of your good energy are you using? How can I help?

Let me know.
Remember, “This Blog’s For You.”
Judith

I’ve worked with many women, (and men), at various stages of their lives. The women had two things in common: Being a woman, of course, and having an ability to create connection.

Research by insightful writer and linguist (no, not what you’re thinking) Deborah Tannen, professor at Georgetown University, (http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/) found that women talk with one another to create rapport, (sounds like “The Colbert Report”).

Even though women quickly identify differences by age and race, they connect by identifying common ground, or by finding similarities. (Think of Ellen as she hosted the Academy Awards, searching for common ground with Gwynneth Paltrow:
“You have a daughter named Apple, I eat apples.”)

Recently I participated in a women’s workshop through WomenVision, http://www.womanvis.com, where I knew one of the women only slightly. I had no rational clue to help me find a way to build bridges with the 30- something women-strangers. During the workshop, one activity was to write quietly about “passion”. Slowly, I realized, without proof or examples, that in my childhood home, passion signified danger or lack of safety.

Tears unexpectedly dripped down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop myself from silently weeping. Finally, with the occasional sniff, I knew I needed tissues. As I looked up to search for tissues, I saw my reflection in another woman sitting across from me. She looked up at that same moment, also with silent tears, sniffles, on a tissue search.

After we “got” our mirror images, neither of us could contain belly laughs of recognition. Where we’d had no previous connection, that one shared wordless moment of tears, tissues, and loving laughter forged a bond.