I’ve worked with many women, (and men), at various stages of their lives. The women had two things in common: Being a woman, of course, and having an ability to create connection.

Research by insightful writer and linguist (no, not what you’re thinking) Deborah Tannen, professor at Georgetown University, (http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/) found that women talk with one another to create rapport, (sounds like “The Colbert Report”).

Even though women quickly identify differences by age and race, they connect by identifying common ground, or by finding similarities. (Think of Ellen as she hosted the Academy Awards, searching for common ground with Gwynneth Paltrow:
“You have a daughter named Apple, I eat apples.”)

Recently I participated in a women’s workshop through WomenVision, http://www.womanvis.com, where I knew one of the women only slightly. I had no rational clue to help me find a way to build bridges with the 30- something women-strangers. During the workshop, one activity was to write quietly about “passion”. Slowly, I realized, without proof or examples, that in my childhood home, passion signified danger or lack of safety.

Tears unexpectedly dripped down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop myself from silently weeping. Finally, with the occasional sniff, I knew I needed tissues. As I looked up to search for tissues, I saw my reflection in another woman sitting across from me. She looked up at that same moment, also with silent tears, sniffles, on a tissue search.

After we “got” our mirror images, neither of us could contain belly laughs of recognition. Where we’d had no previous connection, that one shared wordless moment of tears, tissues, and loving laughter forged a bond.

Creating connection is the goal of FWW. We’re here for you. Soon, you’ll be writing in to be there for someone else. Can you think of similar moments of unanticipated connection with women, either unknown or seemingly different from you? Let us know how you’ve found your “sisters”.

More soon, Judith