


Sometimes it amazes me how often we need to prove scientifically that which we already know through plain common sense. An article on the ScienceDaily Web site is a good case in point.
The article pointed out that children of divorce often become emotionally distant from their fathers, more so that their counterpart whose parents are still together. Compared to their pre-teen years, 56 percent of teens with divorced parents felt they were more withdrawn from their fathers, whereas the number was only 28 percent for teens whose parents were still together.
If we think about it, this makes sense for a variety of reasons. In most divorces, mothers are granted custody of the children and fathers are given only part-time access. Therefore it is the mother who is now taking care of the teen and it seems normal that the teen would gravitate away from their father. Additionally, many divorces are filed by women, which means it was usually the father who did something that led the mother to file for divorce in the first place. As society gradually loses it's stigma over divorce, it's more likely that the teen won't blame their mother for filing, but instead blame their father for making her file.
It looks like the best thing a father can do is to begin as you mean to continue. Don't wait to develop a strong bond with your child after you get divorced — create a relationship that is strong enough to handle a divorce. That means taking an interest in your child from the get-go rather than leaving it all up to the mother. Fortunately for fathers, it seems like they're finally beginning to listen.
Click here for more.