Header
Jennifer Bailey's picture

Suffering From Sudden Wife Abandonment?

Posted by Jennifer Bailey on Tue, 01/29/2008 - 4:00pm

I think we are all aware of the phenomenon of men suddenly leaving their marriages with no warning, with nothing more than a final "It's over". No months of discussion, no signs of unhappiness, just that final pronouncement. Well, now they have a term for it. It's called Sudden Wife Abandonment.

The term was coined by Vikki Stark, a family therapist who was married for 21 years until her husband announced that their marriage was over while she was preparing dinner. She called it Sudden Wife Abandonment, and started the Sudden Wife Abandonment Project, with the apt acronym "SWAP".

Ms. Stark decided to put a call out to other women who had found themselves in this situation, and discovered that there seemed to be a distinct pattern in men who suddenly and without warning leave their marriages. First came the announcement that they were leaving, without any notice or warning. Secondly came some pretty bizarre reasoning for their decision. One man told his wife that he had decided that Aquarians and Capricorns just weren't suited to each other. Another told his wife he was leaving because he couldn't stand the drivers in his neighborhood. The final piece occurs when men then tell their wives that they had never been happy in the marriage, leaving the women to question all of their past memories.

To combat the belief that she had been mistaken about her marriage for over two decades, Ms. Stark went back and re-read greeting cards her husband had given her the year before. By doing this she was able to convince herself that her marriage had not been a sham. It turns out that in the vast majority of cases, men are suddenly abandoning their wives because they have already found someone else. Because these husbands know what they are doing is wrong, they still feel the need to justify it to their wives.

Stark has created a website for women in her situation, Runaway Husbands, and has written a book on the topic as well, titled Runaway Husbands: Making Sense and Bouncing Back from a Divorce You Didn't See Coming. Hopefully with these resources in place, fewer women will feel so crazy when it happens to them.

Click here for more.

Recent posts by Jennifer Bailey

Jennifer Bailey • 2/16/2008
Most of us at some point in time have heard the horror stories surrounding...
Jennifer Bailey • 2/15/2008
In an effort to recognize Valentine's Day, parts of China and Thailand have...
Jennifer Bailey • 2/11/2008
If you follow the path of a "normal" wedding, you probably have fond...
Jennifer Bailey • 2/10/2008
Do you sometimes find yourself forgetting what life with your spouse was...
Jennifer Bailey • 2/07/2008
Many factors can lead to a town's prosperity and its eventual rise to...
Jennifer Bailey • 2/01/2008
Professors at the University of Grenada have discovered that 25 percent of...
Jennifer Bailey • 1/31/2008
Here at First Wives World, we've seen many women struggling with the fact...