In an effort to recognize Valentine's Day, parts of China and Thailand have decided to institute a new custom: no divorces are allowed on February 14th.

In Thailand's northeastern province of Roi Et, anyone who applied for a divorce on Thursday was denied and told to go home. In Beijing, some courts did the same thing, stating that Valentine's Day was widely celebrated, and allowing divorces on February 14th would have been hurtful. Yu Lihua, a senior judge in charge of divorces for the Shijingshan District Court was quick to point out "We didn't arrange the sessions of any divorce cases on Thursday, which is courtesy, rather than a policy."

While there may have been sentimental reasons for not allowing divorces on the "day of love", in Thailand at least there may have also been financial issues at play. The University of Thai Chamber of Commerce released a study that showed young people in Thailand were expected to spend 2.16 billion baht, about $65.4 million, on Valentine's Day. And this is despite a sluggish economy and increased cost of living. Perhaps officials decided they did not want to ruin the mood by allowing divorce.

Whatever the reason, it appears that it may not have made much of a difference: not many people choose to divorce on Valentine's Day to begin with. In one district in China, there were no divorce requests on February 14th from 2004 to 2007. One man did apply this year, but only because he had just found out his wife was cheating on him.

Do you sometimes find yourself forgetting what life with your spouse was like before you got married? Well, now there is a group in California that can help you do something about that.

The California Healthy Marriages Coalition has come up with the "Ten Great Dates" program, which it offers to couples 18 years of age and older. The concept is a rather simple one. Couples meet up at a central location to watch a thematic video, which changes every week for ten weeks. After the video, couples discuss as a group what they thought of the film and the ideas that were introduced, then they go on their own date.

The purpose of the meeting is to promote better communication between partners, anger resolution, and balancing a busy lifestyle — all things that can lead to trouble in any marriage. By participating in the meetings, couples in all stages of marriage can work on resolving problems before they become an issue. And since child care is provided on-site, you don't even have to worry about what to do with the kids while you're gone.

The idea of couples participating in marriage counselling before issues arise is not a new one, but here it is done in a new way. The group not only provides avenues for discussion but an actual practical way for you and your partner to make time for each other, something many married couples forget to do.

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I think we are all aware of the phenomenon of men suddenly leaving their marriages with no warning, with nothing more than a final "It's over". No months of discussion, no signs of unhappiness, just that final pronouncement. Well, now they have a term for it. It's called Sudden Wife Abandonment.

The term was coined by Vikki Stark, a family therapist who was married for 21 years until her husband announced that their marriage was over while she was preparing dinner. She called it Sudden Wife Abandonment, and started the Sudden Wife Abandonment Project, with the apt acronym "SWAP".

Ms. Stark decided to put a call out to other women who had found themselves in this situation, and discovered that there seemed to be a distinct pattern in men who suddenly and without warning leave their marriages. First came the announcement that they were leaving, without any notice or warning. Secondly came some pretty bizarre reasoning for their decision. One man told his wife that he had decided that Aquarians and Capricorns just weren't suited to each other. Another told his wife he was leaving because he couldn't stand the drivers in his neighborhood. The final piece occurs when men then tell their wives that they had never been happy in the marriage, leaving the women to question all of their past memories.

To combat the belief that she had been mistaken about her marriage for over two decades, Ms. Stark went back and re-read greeting cards her husband had given her the year before. By doing this she was able to convince herself that her marriage had not been a sham. It turns out that in the vast majority of cases, men are suddenly abandoning their wives because they have already found someone else. Because these husbands know what they are doing is wrong, they still feel the need to justify it to their wives.

What constitutes a "rebound relationship"? The Canadian Press, a news Web site, ran an article examining Hollywood relationships, and the propensity some stars seem to have of leaping from one relationship right into another.

The article sites a few examples: Chris Evert and Greg Norman have announced that they will marry, less than a year after their respective divorces. J. Lo ended her engagement to Ben Affleck, and six months later was walking down the aisle with Marc Anthony, whose own divorce was finalized just four days earlier.

I think we all understand that Hollywood is a different kind of place — and that's being kind — yet it seems that we do have a tendency to judge anyone who enters into a new romantic relationship shortly after leaving their last one as "on the rebound". But is it really just a rebound? A friend of mine recently left a four-year relationship, and less than six months later started a new relationship with someone he'd previously been just friends with. I admit that I was surprised to say the least, and I asked him how he could do it.

I thought his response was really interesting. He told me that although they didn't officially "break up" until after four years, their relationship really should have ended after two years — they just didn't know how to do it. This article quoted a counsellor at Dalhousie University as saying "People can be married for 25, 30, 40, 50 years; they may not necessarily be in a partnership for 25, 30, 40, 50 years,"

Not a lot leaves me speechless, but this one's got me almost silent. A woman recently wrote in to an advice column stating she was considering divorcing her husband because he had not bought her what she wanted for Christmas 12 years in a row. Signed "Mrs. Scrooge", she says that her husband is successful and they are doing fine financially, but she is sick and tired of being disappointed year after year. No other reason for divorce was given in her letter.

There are so many situations that cry out for divorce, it's hard to know where to begin. Lost affection, physical or verbal abuse, or just plain growing apart are all common and acceptable reason to split up with your spouse. But not getting what you wanted for Christmas? I just can't believe this. And what I really can't believe is that this has apparently been going on for 12 years!

Lack of communication seems to be an obvious issue here if she has been disappointed each year at Christmas for 12 years and has not yet spoken to Mr. Scrooge about this. Apparently friends of Mrs. Scrooge support her decision for divorce, but you have to wonder what do they all think is going to happen? Let's assume she asks for and receives her divorce. The next time she meets someone her inability to communicate is going to be a problem all over again. Perhaps she would be better off seeking counselling and learning how to deal with her problems rather than just sitting back and waiting for the other party to figure it out.

Issues regarding the true meaning of Christmas aside, I think Mrs. Scrooge is going to have to deal with her own problems first before she will ever be able to make a marriage work. Either that or let's hope this was some kind of Christmas prank.

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An article came out on Boston.com saying that although Spring may be the most popular season to get married, the holiday season is the most popular time to get engaged.

Mimi Licht is a clinically licensed social worker in the Greater Boston area who has begun counselling recently engaged couples, and she says that December is definitely her busy period. I have to say that I fully support this idea of counselling before marriage. It helps the couple — normally focused solely on what kind of wedding they're going to have — recognize some of the challenges that they're going to face once everyone has gone home and the honeymoon tans has faded.

There are so many things to consider when getting engaged that it's difficult to list them all in one article. This article mentions factors such as ethnic differences, opposition to the marriage from family or friends, and shaky finances. Add to the list things like where to live, whether to keep your last name or take a new one, joint bank accounts, and children, and you have a volatile recipe for stress. Who helps guide us through the process and ensures we are going into this with eyes wide open?

Traditionally, people turned to their family or religious officials to help them. I've had many friends who wanted to get married in one specific church or another who were told that before the church would agree to marry them, they would have to attend "x" number of marriage counseling sessions. But people are increasingly less likely to attend church than they were 30 years ago, and as the divorce rate has hovered around 50 percent since 1975, we don't feel our divorced parents are necessarily qualified to counsel us on marriage.