In an effort to recognize Valentine's Day, parts of China and Thailand have decided to institute a new custom: no divorces are allowed on February 14th.

In Thailand's northeastern province of Roi Et, anyone who applied for a divorce on Thursday was denied and told to go home. In Beijing, some courts did the same thing, stating that Valentine's Day was widely celebrated, and allowing divorces on February 14th would have been hurtful. Yu Lihua, a senior judge in charge of divorces for the Shijingshan District Court was quick to point out "We didn't arrange the sessions of any divorce cases on Thursday, which is courtesy, rather than a policy."

While there may have been sentimental reasons for not allowing divorces on the "day of love", in Thailand at least there may have also been financial issues at play. The University of Thai Chamber of Commerce released a study that showed young people in Thailand were expected to spend 2.16 billion baht, about $65.4 million, on Valentine's Day. And this is despite a sluggish economy and increased cost of living. Perhaps officials decided they did not want to ruin the mood by allowing divorce.

Whatever the reason, it appears that it may not have made much of a difference: not many people choose to divorce on Valentine's Day to begin with. In one district in China, there were no divorce requests on February 14th from 2004 to 2007. One man did apply this year, but only because he had just found out his wife was cheating on him.

Do you sometimes find yourself forgetting what life with your spouse was like before you got married? Well, now there is a group in California that can help you do something about that.

The California Healthy Marriages Coalition has come up with the "Ten Great Dates" program, which it offers to couples 18 years of age and older. The concept is a rather simple one. Couples meet up at a central location to watch a thematic video, which changes every week for ten weeks. After the video, couples discuss as a group what they thought of the film and the ideas that were introduced, then they go on their own date.

The purpose of the meeting is to promote better communication between partners, anger resolution, and balancing a busy lifestyle — all things that can lead to trouble in any marriage. By participating in the meetings, couples in all stages of marriage can work on resolving problems before they become an issue. And since child care is provided on-site, you don't even have to worry about what to do with the kids while you're gone.

The idea of couples participating in marriage counselling before issues arise is not a new one, but here it is done in a new way. The group not only provides avenues for discussion but an actual practical way for you and your partner to make time for each other, something many married couples forget to do.

Click here for more.

Recently I read an interview in the U.S. News and Daily Report with Tim Harford, author of The Logic of Life: The Rational Economics of an Irrational World. His book explores the idea that there are many rational choices that lie behind seemingly irrational events, and when I heard he had referred to divorce as "underrated", I couldn't wait to find out how he justified that one.

But as seems to be the norm lately, I was wrong again. Harman pointed out one benefit of divorce that I had not considered — since divorce has become easier to come by, Harman claims, there has been a decline in the rate of domestic violence and female suicide.

This illustrated two important concepts to me. The first was how difficult divorce must have been for women of previous generations. The statement "easier divorce equals fewer female suicides" makes sense. But that means that in the past, women would rather commit suicide than stay married or get divorced. And that, my friends, is really saying something.

The other concept that jumped out at me is that incidents of domestic violence have decreased since divorce has become easier to obtain. Again, this is a statement that makes sense on its own, but think of the deeper implication. How many times have we (unfortunately) heard someone lament "I couldn't help myself, she just made me so angry!"? Well, apparently you could help yourself. Once the penalty for abuse was increased (women could leave their husbands), the abuse decreased as husbands began to fear their wives would actually leave them.

I guess that whole axiom about clouds and silver linings has something to it after all.

Click here for more.

So here we are, another Christmas season successfully behind us, and reading another article outlining the effects the holidays have on divorce. I think by now it's a widely accepted fact that while Christmas and other holidays do not cause people to get divorced, the forced proximity of the season does expose the cracks in relationships that may have previously been invisible.

So why another article about the raise in divorce rates over the holidays? Because this one actually made a good point that I haven't seen discussed before. It was mentioned almost as an afterthought, but the article quoted Yvonne Green, head of the family law division for a British group of solicitors as saying "Amateur advice is usually well meant, but can be dangerously misleading." How true this is.

When it comes to considering divorce, many people feel scared and confused, and turn to their friends for help and advice — especially if these friends have been through the process themselves. However, it can be extremely unwise to listen to the advice of friends when discussing your own relationship. Let's face it, no matter how open you are with your friends, they will never fully understand all the nuances that make up a marriage. Recently we ran an article about a woman who decided to divorce her husband because he did not get her what she wanted for Christmas, and amazingly her friends all seemed to support her decision. I rest my case.

Yesterday I told you about a woman in New Delhi who was granted a divorce after she was able to demonstrate to the court that her husband had lied about his age, education, and income. The court decided that these lies constituted fraud and therefore the marriage "contract" should be voided. The idea of fraud annulling a marriage raises a few important issues. The first question must be what kind of fraud is fraudulent enough to void a marriage, and the second question has to be, who makes that decision?

I fully agree that there are marriage deal breakers out there — some things are just non-negotiable. This woman had been promised that she was marrying a man of a certain intelligence and educational background, and this turned out to be false. He is, in the end, literally not the man she married. But who decides which issues are important enough for constitute divorce?

We all have different and extremely personal reasons for getting married and for deciding who we marry. If we find these reasons have been violated, who determines if it is important enough to impact divorce settlements or future support payments?

Imagine a woman decides to divorce her unemployed husband. In this situation, she may be expected to make support payments to him as he has no income. Now imagine that this same woman finds out her ex had an undisclosed criminal record for rape. Is it fair to say that if she'd known about his record she wouldn't have married him and therefore would never have been in the position support him in the first place? If so, should she still be required to make support payments?

Not a lot leaves me speechless, but this one's got me almost silent. A woman recently wrote in to an advice column stating she was considering divorcing her husband because he had not bought her what she wanted for Christmas 12 years in a row. Signed "Mrs. Scrooge", she says that her husband is successful and they are doing fine financially, but she is sick and tired of being disappointed year after year. No other reason for divorce was given in her letter.

There are so many situations that cry out for divorce, it's hard to know where to begin. Lost affection, physical or verbal abuse, or just plain growing apart are all common and acceptable reason to split up with your spouse. But not getting what you wanted for Christmas? I just can't believe this. And what I really can't believe is that this has apparently been going on for 12 years!

Lack of communication seems to be an obvious issue here if she has been disappointed each year at Christmas for 12 years and has not yet spoken to Mr. Scrooge about this. Apparently friends of Mrs. Scrooge support her decision for divorce, but you have to wonder what do they all think is going to happen? Let's assume she asks for and receives her divorce. The next time she meets someone her inability to communicate is going to be a problem all over again. Perhaps she would be better off seeking counselling and learning how to deal with her problems rather than just sitting back and waiting for the other party to figure it out.

Issues regarding the true meaning of Christmas aside, I think Mrs. Scrooge is going to have to deal with her own problems first before she will ever be able to make a marriage work. Either that or let's hope this was some kind of Christmas prank.

Click here for more.

An article came out on Boston.com saying that although Spring may be the most popular season to get married, the holiday season is the most popular time to get engaged.

Mimi Licht is a clinically licensed social worker in the Greater Boston area who has begun counselling recently engaged couples, and she says that December is definitely her busy period. I have to say that I fully support this idea of counselling before marriage. It helps the couple — normally focused solely on what kind of wedding they're going to have — recognize some of the challenges that they're going to face once everyone has gone home and the honeymoon tans has faded.

There are so many things to consider when getting engaged that it's difficult to list them all in one article. This article mentions factors such as ethnic differences, opposition to the marriage from family or friends, and shaky finances. Add to the list things like where to live, whether to keep your last name or take a new one, joint bank accounts, and children, and you have a volatile recipe for stress. Who helps guide us through the process and ensures we are going into this with eyes wide open?

Traditionally, people turned to their family or religious officials to help them. I've had many friends who wanted to get married in one specific church or another who were told that before the church would agree to marry them, they would have to attend "x" number of marriage counseling sessions. But people are increasingly less likely to attend church than they were 30 years ago, and as the divorce rate has hovered around 50 percent since 1975, we don't feel our divorced parents are necessarily qualified to counsel us on marriage.