Most of us at some point in time have heard the horror stories surrounding child support payments and alimony. You may have experienced it first hand, or perhaps a friend or loved one has become exasperated trying to collect money that is owed to them. But now a recent poll conducted by GFK Roper gives us a better picture of just how many people are affected by lack of support payments.

The poll showed that 24 percent of divorced Americans are supposed to be receiving child support payments, but only a handful of people are actually getting the payments. Only 25 percent of people who are supposed to be receiving alimony actually got the entire amount, 29 percent didn't receive any amount at all and only 17 percent received a partial amount. Perhaps the even scarier statistic is that only 6 percent of people not receiving child support or alimony payments are actually fighting for their rights.

Something has to be done when only 6 percent of people not receiving money owed to them because of a divorce are able to stand up and ask for what they deserve. There may be a few reasons why this is so. I know of a few people who have decided not to go after their ex-spouse because they know their ex does not have the money the court has ordered them to pay. However, this rarely seems to be the case.

Instead, there is a prevalent belief that either the court will not be able to make the ex-spouse pay, or more commonly it is too expensive to go to court in the first place. Because they are not receiving support payments in the first place, many people in this position can't come up with the money to pay for additional court costs and lawyer fees.

In an effort to recognize Valentine's Day, parts of China and Thailand have decided to institute a new custom: no divorces are allowed on February 14th.

In Thailand's northeastern province of Roi Et, anyone who applied for a divorce on Thursday was denied and told to go home. In Beijing, some courts did the same thing, stating that Valentine's Day was widely celebrated, and allowing divorces on February 14th would have been hurtful. Yu Lihua, a senior judge in charge of divorces for the Shijingshan District Court was quick to point out "We didn't arrange the sessions of any divorce cases on Thursday, which is courtesy, rather than a policy."

While there may have been sentimental reasons for not allowing divorces on the "day of love", in Thailand at least there may have also been financial issues at play. The University of Thai Chamber of Commerce released a study that showed young people in Thailand were expected to spend 2.16 billion baht, about $65.4 million, on Valentine's Day. And this is despite a sluggish economy and increased cost of living. Perhaps officials decided they did not want to ruin the mood by allowing divorce.

Whatever the reason, it appears that it may not have made much of a difference: not many people choose to divorce on Valentine's Day to begin with. In one district in China, there were no divorce requests on February 14th from 2004 to 2007. One man did apply this year, but only because he had just found out his wife was cheating on him.

If you follow the path of a "normal" wedding, you probably have fond memories of selecting and eventually eating your wedding cake. But one Floridian baker, Larry Bach, has found a new niche market — the divorce cake.

It started when a woman entered his store and asked him if he remembered her. He didn't, but he guessed that he must have made her wedding cake. She confirmed, quipping "it was the best part of my marriage". After the break up, she decided to invite her bridesmaids to join her in a divorce party, complete with cake. So Larry baked her a wedding cake, built upside down with the smallest layer at the bottom and largest layer at the top. As the piece de resistance, he added a tiny little groom pinned underneath the cake.

While he would prefer if he never had to bake a divorce cake again, Larry things a divorce cake is a good idea. "I think it's a healthy thing. You have to go with the end of something bad and the beginning of something good. That's probably cause for celebration." There may be a fine line between healthy and cynical, but anything that can help you laugh and enjoy time with your friends in the midst of one of life's hardships can't be all bad.

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Do you sometimes find yourself forgetting what life with your spouse was like before you got married? Well, now there is a group in California that can help you do something about that.

The California Healthy Marriages Coalition has come up with the "Ten Great Dates" program, which it offers to couples 18 years of age and older. The concept is a rather simple one. Couples meet up at a central location to watch a thematic video, which changes every week for ten weeks. After the video, couples discuss as a group what they thought of the film and the ideas that were introduced, then they go on their own date.

The purpose of the meeting is to promote better communication between partners, anger resolution, and balancing a busy lifestyle — all things that can lead to trouble in any marriage. By participating in the meetings, couples in all stages of marriage can work on resolving problems before they become an issue. And since child care is provided on-site, you don't even have to worry about what to do with the kids while you're gone.

The idea of couples participating in marriage counselling before issues arise is not a new one, but here it is done in a new way. The group not only provides avenues for discussion but an actual practical way for you and your partner to make time for each other, something many married couples forget to do.

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Many factors can lead to a town's prosperity and its eventual rise to city-hood. There are all the usual suspects: some towns grow because of mining or forestry, some grow because of lumber or ship-building. Sioux Falls, South Dakota came to be because of divorce. And the Minnehaha County Historical Society wants to commemorate this with a nice little plaque.

When Sioux Falls began, divorce was an arduous prospect. Most states required at least one year of residency in that state before you could apply for divorce, and even then the state would only consider a divorce on the grounds of adultery. Not so with Sioux Falls.

According to Bruce Blake, a member of the historical society, the residency requirement in Sioux Falls was "scandalously short" at only three months. Even then, people were not necessarily residing in the town. Wealthy couples looking for a quick divorce in a closed courtroom would often rent a hotel room and hang up some clothes to make it look like they were staying there, and then move back home only to return to Sioux Falls in three months' time.

Adultery was certainly one reason to get divorced in Sioux Falls, but it was by no means the only reason. Old divorce records show one man claimed that his wife refused to bathe. Another man used the fact that his wife would keep touching his back with her cold feet in his petition. Both men were granted divorces.

While it may seem a strange beginning, it certainly attracted a number of people to the area. And while some stayed at the local hotel, others fulfilled the residency requirement by building homes there. Since the majority of people getting divorced were relatively wealthy, art and culture flourished during this time period as couples waited out the three month residency requirement.

Although the number of divorced in Sioux Falls have dropped today to 3.1 per 1000 people, it's always good to know where you came from.

Professors at the University of Grenada have discovered that 25 percent of children of divorced parents experience Parental Alienation Syndrome, also known as PAS.

PAS refers to "manipulation of children by the custodial parent, who incessantly tries to turn them against the other parent by arousing in them feelings of hatred and contempt for the target parent". The authors state that the target parent is usually men, since women typically have more custodial control and therefore more time to influence their children. It is estimated that approximately one in four children are affected PAS.

Children exposed to PAS will often not only reject their parent, generally their father, but his friends and family as well. The child may also take the hatred they have been taught to feel towards the target parent and apply it to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and anyone else associated with the target parent, causing the child to "expel (these people) from their lives."

Symptoms of children experiencing this syndrome often include denigrating the target parent, having no trouble expressing negative feelings toward that parent, refusing to admit that they have been influenced by anyone, lack of guilt towards their opinions of the target parent, and recounting events that they could not have witnessed but have heard from other people. Typically, children between the ages of 9 and 12 are most likely to be affected. It is less likely to occur in divorces that are mutual.

Here at First Wives World, we've seen many women struggling with the fact that their ex-husband is not more involved with the kids. Trying to balance work life and home life with children is never easy, and it is very tempting to wish there was another person involved to help relieve the pressure. But have we really stopped to think about what that means?

In this article on Mom Logic, one woman talks about the issues with her custodial plan. I assume that she and her ex live in the same city and therefore her children are able to attend the same school from either parent's house, but here's what the court set up: Mondays through Wednesdays with one parent, Wednesday evening through Saturday morning with the other parent, with weekends alternating between parents. As the author says, "Essentially, the children are being shuttled back and forth every two to three days." Because she's afraid of how the stress of constantly relocating is affecting her kids, she says she lets them get away with more than she used to.

She and her ex don't get along well, and there's a huge communication gap between the two of them. With her children spending so much time there, she feels she is missing out. "No stories about new milestones that I'm missing or life's lessons that the children are learning, no tales of how these beautiful little people are growing or changing when I'm not with them. He has no interest in sharing any of it."

How to raise their children has also become a problem. She doesn't know what he's teaching them when they're with him. She doesn't know if he's respecting the boundaries and controls that she uses with her kids, and she has no control over who the children come into contact with. If he has a new girlfriend, she can only hope that this person is loving and will respect her kids.

I think we are all aware of the phenomenon of men suddenly leaving their marriages with no warning, with nothing more than a final "It's over". No months of discussion, no signs of unhappiness, just that final pronouncement. Well, now they have a term for it. It's called Sudden Wife Abandonment.

The term was coined by Vikki Stark, a family therapist who was married for 21 years until her husband announced that their marriage was over while she was preparing dinner. She called it Sudden Wife Abandonment, and started the Sudden Wife Abandonment Project, with the apt acronym "SWAP".

Ms. Stark decided to put a call out to other women who had found themselves in this situation, and discovered that there seemed to be a distinct pattern in men who suddenly and without warning leave their marriages. First came the announcement that they were leaving, without any notice or warning. Secondly came some pretty bizarre reasoning for their decision. One man told his wife that he had decided that Aquarians and Capricorns just weren't suited to each other. Another told his wife he was leaving because he couldn't stand the drivers in his neighborhood. The final piece occurs when men then tell their wives that they had never been happy in the marriage, leaving the women to question all of their past memories.

To combat the belief that she had been mistaken about her marriage for over two decades, Ms. Stark went back and re-read greeting cards her husband had given her the year before. By doing this she was able to convince herself that her marriage had not been a sham. It turns out that in the vast majority of cases, men are suddenly abandoning their wives because they have already found someone else. Because these husbands know what they are doing is wrong, they still feel the need to justify it to their wives.

The Christian Post has announced that a new Christian film about divorce, titled "Me and You, Us, Forever", will be released in 83 cities and 34 states on February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day.

The film chronicles the real-life story of a 47-year-old Christian man going through an unwanted divorce, which leads him to start reminiscing about his old high school girlfriend and his first true love. It purports to answer questions such as "can you overcome the pain and bitterness that follows divorce?", "is there ever healing?", and "why does God allow divorce?"

Dave Christiano, producer of the film, says that the film is very real. "The story tries to help people who have been affected by singleness, separation or divorce, and that begins by being honest with your feelings, emotions, and yourself. Through the main character in the film, we'll see just that. It's the beginning of healing in any situation." Christiano further states that the film is timely, as he estimates that 90% of church congregations have been in some way affected by broken marriages. "A mother, father, brother, sister, relative, almost everyone has now been touched by this dreadful word," says Christiano.

It will be interesting to see how this film will be received by the various Christian faiths. Calling your film a Christian movie about divorce is risky, as it suggests you feel you speak for all Christians. The opinions of people leaving comments on this article seem to range from "of course divorce is OK" to "God does not allow for divorce, end of story". If this is any indication, it seems Christiano may have stirred up a hornet's nest.

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With all the divorce drama going on in the news today, it's interesting to see the way things were. This weekend I learned about Caroline Norton, daughter of British playwright Richard Sheridan. She is the woman directly responsible for modern British divorce law. Caroline married George Norton, a conservative politician, in 1827. Their marriage quickly ran into trouble when George began beating his wife.

During this time, a woman could only apply for a divorce under the regulations set out by the Church of England. The church might grant a divorce under one of three conditions. The first was if the marriage could be considered annulled through potential incest, insanity, or impotence. In these cases the church would allow the petitioner to re-marry, but any new children would be considered illegitimate. The second condition to prove adultery, in which case Parliament would eventually grant a divorce with the church's blessing that would allow the spouse to re-marry and their children would be considered legitimate. Finally, you could prove sodomy or physical violence, but this would only allow the couple to separate and neither would be allowed to re-marry.

Obviously unhappy with this state of affairs, Caroline petitioned, with the help of sympathetic members of parliament, to have the divorce laws changed. She asked that mothers not convicted of adultery be allowed to keep custody of their children, who at the time were considered to be property of the father. Her call for reform resulted in the Marriage and Divorce Act, passed 150 years ago, which transferred the jurisdiction of marriage and divorce away from the church and to a newly-created civil court.