Holding Your Anger Can Make You Sick

Holding Your Anger Can Make You Sick

Why you gotta let it out and express yourself before, during and after divorce

The findings of a 10-year study reveal that women who force themselves to remain calm during fights with their spouses are at a higher risk of death and have a higher incidence of stress-related diseases like depression and irritable bowel syndrome.

In fact, women who "self-silence" were four times more likely to die than women who let it all out during arguments, according to the research conducted by Dr. Elaine D. Eaker of Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises in Gaithersburg, Md.

In my opinion, this research seems to prove what many women already know: You just gotta let it out! Why keep it all in? Express yourself to your spouse, partner, ex, kids if you're having marital trouble, and especially when you're going through divorce.

Eaker study examined behavior, incidence of heart disease and mortality within marriage. She wanted to understand the dynamics of what really goes on in a marriage during arguments. Her research also confirmed that marriage is good for men's health and that married men enjoy better health compared to unmarried men. We wonder if that's the case even when the men are terribly unhappy and stressed in their relationships.

Eaker's research, published in Psychosomatic Medicine, suggests that men and women need to take a closer look at the changing roles and expectations for husbands and wives and in general, men and women in society. Too, she notes that marriage partners need to offer one another a safe place to express feelings of conflict before it's too late and the marriage ends in divorce.