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What can we learn from celebrity break-ups, billionaire settlements, straying husbands, downright daunting divorce laws, or scandalous politicians? PLENTY! Meet our contributing writers and professional advisors who are tickled pink to ponder all of the news, views, gossip and buzz that we love to hear!

Think of Uncle Sam

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Fri, 08/17/2007 - 8:54pm

Christina Rowe opted for her ex-husband’s share in their house instead of alimony after he spent a month in jail for skipping child support. Rowe figures that, over time, the move saved her about $20,000 in taxes.

Tax tips aren’t thrown around a lot during divorces, when emotional grenades are more likely to be tossed. But estranged spouses can save a lot by working together calmly on alimony, the sale of the house, income-tax filing status and timing of the divorce.

“Smart people say ‘I hate you, but I hate the Internal Revenue Service more,’ ” says Diana L. Mercer, an attorney and divorce mediator at Peace Talks Mediation Services in Playa del Ray, Calif., and co-author of the book Your Divorce Advisor.

Every divorce is different, so ignore anything that seems like blanket tax advice. It’s important to consult a good advisor, perhaps a lawyer or CPA, for the best approach.

In the case of Rowe, the trade-off between alimony and the house worked out. She would have had to pay tax on alimony because it is considered taxable income, but she didn't owe anything on the share of the house because property can be transferred tax-free in a divorce settlement. What saved taxes in her circumstances might not apply to others, however.

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(Don’t) Tell It to the Judge

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Fri, 08/17/2007 - 6:32pm

I ran across a David Letterman-ish list of the Top Ten remarks you should never make to the justice who is presiding at your divorce hearing:

10. “So she gets the gold and I get the shaft?”
9. “I don’t really think you would have ruled that way if I'd been a guy [gal].”
8. “I’m really not comfortable raising my right hand and repeating after anyone.”
7. “I’m not hiding my income, so help me God.”
6. “Why are you picking on me?”
5. “No court is going to tell me what to do.”
4. “You’ll have to wait a minute — my cell-phone’s ringing.”
3. “I don’t have time for this.”
2. “You’re the one who should have a psych eval.”
1. “With all due respect, Your Honor, have you ever been through a divorce?"

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When the going gets tough, you might want to consider these New Agey suggestions for coping with divorce. Even if some are too “out there” for you to actually do, they’re good for a laugh.

1. Do the rite thing. Engage a celebrant to perform a ceremony that turns your divorce into a meaningful event. “Anyone making this choice needs the support and acknowledgement of friends and family to make peace with the past and begin building a positive future,” says Boston-based celebrant Cindy Matchett. For more info go to Matchett’s site (meaningfulcelebrations.com) or to find a celebrant in your area, visit celebrantusa.com/map.html.

2. Smudge with sage. Native Americans do spiritual house-cleaning by burning a bundle of dried sage, a practice known as “smudging.” Ignite the sage and, starting at the doorway, move through your space counterclockwise. When the smoke clears, you’ll have purified your home — and purged your ex. Find sage bundles at incensewarehouse.com.

3. Find someone new. No, not a rebound relationship, but one that’s unconditionally loving — with a pet. A pooch or a kitty waiting at home can do wonders for that empty house or apartment (okay, they can do damage, too, but that’s another story). Your local shelter or rescue group is a good place to start.

4. Think ink. A new (or your first) tattoo can be a visual reminder of your decision to start fresh. “You could get the word ‘freedom’ in Chinese letters,” suggests Jon Jon, a tattoo artist with Cutting Edge Body Arts in New York City’s West Village.

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When Real Estate Is the Ticket Out

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Tue, 08/14/2007 - 6:27pm

Chances are you’ve read about people trapped in unhappy marriages because they couldn’t sell their home, or couples whose lifestyles took a nosedive when they divorced.

Well, this weekend The New York Times ran an interesting story about real estate facilitating divorce!

For a number of years, Michele Kleier, a realtor on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, had a client who called her regularly to check on the price she could list her 9-room co-op for.

When the market was at its peak, the woman planned to divorce her husband, sell the apartment and live on her share of the profits.

This client went through with her plan, and now lives in a California condo, where she raves about the weather and revels in the distance she put between herself and her ex. “The real estate market allowed her to buy her freedom,” says Kleier.

Brokers and attorneys alike agree that the red-hot New York City real estate market has opened up a world of possibilities for unhappy couples. Up until 2006, it wasn’t that unusual to see home prices rise 20 or 30 percent a year, and though appreciation has slowed down, sales and market value haven’t. The price of the average Manhattan apartment this summer was $1.3 million. And the $3 million apartment is now the $7 million apartment. Half of that is a lot.

Gary Becker, an economist at the University of Chicago, has studied survey data and concludes that any couple who see a drastic rise (or drop) in net worth is at risk of divorce.

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Women Undercover

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Thu, 08/09/2007 - 6:58pm

Forget the image you have of a private eye as a hard-bitten, middle-aged man in a rumpled suit from Men's Wearhouse. More and more investigators are women — and they're finding a booming business in child custody cases and in tracking down cheating spouses.

Onesuch P.I. is Anji Fussell, who runs the She Spies Private Eye agency in Round Rock, Texas, just outside of Austin. "We're very busy," she told Channel 42 News, a CBS affiliate in Austin. And she's sure that a lot of her success is due to the fact that she's a woman. Most of her business is from divorced parents who want to know if their kids are being taken care of properly — "Are they leaving their children with babysitters and going out partying?" One male client who shared custody with his ex-wife was concerned about just this thing.

It turned out he was right, and when Fussell turned her video over to a judge, the man was awarded primary custody. Fussell is a mother herself, and it's important to her that kids "end up in the right home." And she also believes that being a woman in this field gives her a compassionate advantage that Sam Spade could never have.

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It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Thu, 08/09/2007 - 5:41pm

It was supposed to be a done deal.

When Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's divorce became final on July 30, both had signed off on continuing joint custody of 22-month-old Sean Preston and 10-month-old Jayden James. Supposedly, K-Fed had some reluctance, given Britney's somewhat erratic public behavior and her marginal grasp of parenting skills. Nevertheless, he agreed.

Now, sources have told E! News that Federline's attorney has filed papers requesting primary physical custody of his children.

Perhaps that's because in little more than a week since the divorce, Britney has been photographed frolicking with a college-age extra from her video shoot in a pool atop the L.A. Standard Hotel and making the cover of US Weekly. Then she accidentally rammed her Mercedes into a station wagon in the parking lot of a strip mall. Fair enough — we all have fender-benders. But Britney just drove away, without leaving a note. All of this was caught on film by paparazzi. After waiting a few days for Britney to do the right thing, her "victim" has just filed a police report, according to Perez Hilton.

Does she want her kids taken off her hands, or what?

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Calling King Solomon

Posted by Felicity Buchanan on Tue, 08/07/2007 - 7:50pm

If there were an awards show for divorce — and that’s not out of the realm of possibility — Anne Heche and Coley Laffoon would surely be in the running for “Best Acrimonious Celebrity Divorce.”

The estranged couple has been fighting over everything from their five-year-old son Homer to bed linens they used during their five-year marriage.

Laffoon currently has full-time custody of Homer in Los Angeles while Anne films her ABC-TV show, "Men In Trees," in Vancouver, Canada. Heche had originally asked for sole custody.

The pair then started getting petty, trying to divide everything from their household furniture to their bed linens. A Los Angeles judge has now asked the couple to submit to psychological, drug and alcohol testing so the court can determine the best living situation for Homer.

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