It seems like everybody has got a piece of advice for Silda Spitzer, but I found the advice given by New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams to be shocking.

In an article titled "Stay With Shpritzer, Smart Lady," Cindy Adams said (among other things):

"I want to tell her — so what. She may not longer be New York's first lady, but a husband hooking up with a hooker is not reason enough to no longer be a married lady."

and

"Sex, a primal need, outpoints fear, hunger and love as mankind's No. 1 driving force. Unless you're a pig or a monk, many an able-bodied — and I use that term deliberately — 48-year-old husband of 21 years has grazed. I'm not advocating it. I'm merely saying, so what? It's like takeout food. Less work for mother."

and then added

"Paying a pro isn't disrespect to his wife."

Whoa. I completely disagree. I think that "a husband hooking up with a hooker" is not only enough of a reason, but a fabulous reason to no longer be a married lady. In my book, and I think that a lot of women will agree with me here, it's grounds for instant divorce, no discussions.

And what's with the "so what" attitude? This is a big deal. Infidelity is heartbreaking. I can't believe she is making it seem so trivial. Then comparing hiring a hooker to takeout food?! You know, a lot of married women enjoy having sex. I did. In fact, I don't think I know any who don't. Besides, has anyone here ever spent $80,000 on takeout food?

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The rate of divorce among those in the armed forces held steady last year at 3.3 percent, which is leaving some wondering whether the figure — which was reported by the Pentagon — is an accurate one.

Consider for a moment the amount of stress that having a spouse in the military, on active duty, can put on a marriage, especially if there are children involved, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if at least half of them divorced. So, why aren't they?

One Army spokesman, Paul Boyce, credits the military's "strong programs ... and a sense of real teamwork among the families," for the fairly low divorce rate.

For example, the Marines have offered workshops to teach couples to manage conflict, solve problems, and communicate better, and the Navy started a similar program.

The Army has started paying for what it calls its "Family Covenant," a broad initiative of services and facilities to improve the quality of life for military families nationwide and overseas. It includes improving health care, schools, housing, and child care to relieve stress on spouses.

Army chaplains have trained some 60,000 active duty and reservists in the "Strong Bonds" program for strengthening personal relationships. Troops also get mental-health training in a program called "Battlemind" that teaches about common problems to expect at home as troops readjust to domestic life.

Still, the numbers tracked do not speak of marriages that are in trouble or falling apart, just those that have ended. In 2006 troops were given a mental health survey, 20 percent of those questioned said that they or their spouse were planning a divorce, compared with 15 percent in 2005.

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