Former Baywatch hunk David Hasselhoff has won a court order to return to his family home to retrieve certain possessions that were apparently worth, to him, an extra few visits to court.

So, what couldn't the Hoff live without?

Among the items listed were: an antique barber's chair, an ivory tusk, a statue of a dolphin, a model elephant, and some baseball memorabilia. I guess he already has his Baywatch float in his new digs.

Hoff and his ex Pamela Bach's divorce was settled in December, tying up loose ends like spousal and child support, and custody issues of the couple's two daughters. The two share custody, though any monetary details of the split were not released.

I suppose this is just more evidence of boys becoming rather attached to their toys.

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(Photo: AP)

The judge in the case will deliver his ruling on March 17. After both sides have an opportunity to deliver an argument about the settlement details to be released, he will decide. The former Beatle may have to part with millions, but what does it matter? He is reportedly with $1.6 billion. Heather's initial settlement had her scooping up $130 million of that.

Past judgments would indicate that the judge will decide to release some of the settlement information. Since Heather is widely believed to be aiming for disclosure of the settlement and any offers Paul made, the judge's decision might influence whether she decides to take the case to the Court of Appeals, where any information restrictions would be dropped.

I'm sure the monetary amount will have quite a bit of influence — perhaps more so than the possibility of even more publicity that she's done nothing but complain about since the divorce started.

The judge has the right to disclose the entire settlement, or just part of it, and odds are the original settlement and the released version are rather different. The first would have all the details of custody and monetary awards, whereas the public version would likely omit anything having to do with the couple's daughter, Beatrice.

Most lawyers who have offered an opinion say Heather might get about $50 million from the judge, that's on top of the original settlement amount. Of course, should the amount prove less than Heather thinks she is entitled to, the case will move to the Court of Appeals, and this entire media frenzy will be stirred up yet again.

And I'm almost certain if someone did a study about the success rates of relationships that begin with sexual favors in exchange for cash or debt payoff, the odds would not be for longevity.

Hopefully Pamela Anderson can learn from this...and from her past 2 failed marriages.

Pam's relationship to soon-dismissed hubby Rick Salomon began when she was performing in Vegas in fall of 2007. Apparently she was $250,000 in the hole and worked out a deal with Salomon. He'd cover her debt if she performed privately for him. Pam reportedly fell in love with Salomon during her debt payoff sessions and the two were married last October.

The two appeared relatively happy until December, when Pam filed for divorce, citing the ever popular irreconcilable differences. However, almost as soon as she filed, she said her and her new hubby were going to work things out.

Well, it seems work has stopped and Pam has decided that splitting would be best. However, this go round she's trying for an annulment, citing fraud on Salomon's part.

What this fraud may be is anyone's guess. Let's just hope that if Pam should find herself in debt again, she'll be more wary of the man offering to give her a hand up for what she can dish out.

It's Friday...and that means a roundup of the latest celeb divorce gossip. Fortunately, many celeb couples managed to stay out of the courtroom during this high divorce season, but not all are so lucky. In fact, Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are still waiting for a judge to rule on their divorce settlement after a deadlock earlier this week.

The latest casualty: Jeff Fisher, coach of the NFL's Tennessee Titans, has filed for divorce from his wife of 21 years, Juli. The pair separated on February 10 due to irreconcilable differences.

I'm still waiting on a newsworthy divorce to end for a reason other than the ever-popular "irreconcilable differences."

The Titans coach had filed for divorce four years ago, but he and his wife later reconciled. The couple has three children, two in college and one in high school.

Hmm, think maybe custody money was part of his reason for staying?

Juli alleges in court documents that her hubby is guilty of "inappropriate marital conduct". Sounds juicy, eh? No elaboration as to what that means exactly. Maybe he was getting friendly with a Titanette, or whatever they call the cheerleaders in Tennessee.

In other news, 70s TV star and Jenny Craig spokesceleb Valerie Bertinelli had a chat with Oprah and revealed the real reason why she and rocker hubby Eddie Van Halen split up. Apparently, they both cheated on one another.

Bertinelli also revealed that in the beginning stages of their relationship, Van Halen wanted to take it slow. She said "I wanted to sleep with him...and he wanted to talk to my dad first".

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The reason stated for the split? Irreconcilable differences, of course. You'd think California court offices would have a form with "irreconcilable differences" rubber-stamped on it just for all the actors getting divorces.

When Faris filed, she requested not to pay any spousal support. The couple had no children. In the settlement, it doesn't appear that Faris has to pay spousal support, but she did agree to give her former husband nearly a million dollars, in addition to splitting their property and acting royalties.

Her ex is also an actor, but I don't recognize him from anything. I'd be willing to bet she was pulling in most of those royalties.

Ah well, it seems to be a fairly quiet settlement all around. Amazing that there are actors who can manage not to turn their divorce into a media circus.

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The two met in 2001 and married in 2006 in Costa Rica. A publicist for Pink simply said the pair had separated and "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger".

Yeah, everyone says they want to stay friends right after a breakup.

Rumors had been swirling about the marriage being on the rocks, probably mainly due to the couple rarely being seen in public together. Last August, Hart dismissed all the rumors as "just a bunch of trash talk".

It seems that it was their separate careers that perpetrated the split. Pink is working on a new album and will be returning to the studio soon, and Hart has been opening new nightclubs, the first of which is scheduled to open in May at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.

It would be nice to see the pair remain friends, but let's face it, nothing sours normally amicable people like divorce proceedings.

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Bishop Thomas Weeks and his lawyers got stood up by Weeks' estranged wife Juanita Bynum and her attorney after an agreed date for mediation in the couple's pending divorce case.

Bynum's attorney Karla Walker had already told opposing counsel that she had a conflict with a criminal case three hours away from the offices where the mediation was to be held. Bynum herself is reported to be at a funeral in Chicago.

Weeks' attorney stated that he has been trying to get a meeting with both Bynum and Walker since October 1 and presented both with over 20 dates, none of which suited both parties. However, Walker is quick to say that her client is not trying to hold up the proceedings, it's simply unfortunate timing.

Weeks is attempting to proceed with the divorce hearing even though he has stated he's willing to try and fix his marriage. Of course, he also says since this seems to be what his estranged spouse wants, he will support the decision.

Isn't that sweet?

This whole debacle started after Bynum accused her husband of choking and beating her in an Atlanta parking garage in August of 2007. Weeks is still facing charges on those accusations, but has yet to resign or step down as head of Global Destiny Ministries.

I'd be willing to bet they'll take quite a hit if he turns up guilty. No pun intended.

The mediation will be rescheduled, and Weeks' attorney has petitioned the court to force Bynum to sit down for a deposition.

I suppose the verdict will show whose side God is really on.

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While much doesn't appear to be happening among the U.S. celebs on the divorce front, much is in talks across the pond.

First and foremost is of course the ongoing McCartney-Mills split. The last day of their hearing is today, however the judge may decide to extend it into Monday if he feels it will help. Nothing so far has given any hint as to how the proceedings are going so far, or in whose favor they may be swinging.

Both McCartney and Mills appear rather exhausted by the process, and even if the judge does not decide to extend the hearing into next week, a ruling won't be made until later on. That will not be made public unless either one of them decides to appeal, in which case the appeals hearing will be publicized. Neither party has the right to have the appeals case made private.

At first glance it'd seem like McCartney would have the most to lose by this, since he's been rather anxious to keep his relationship private, but if Mills turns down a reasonable offer, she could jeopardize her chances of keeping that amount.

In other divorce news, Cheryl Cole, singer and wife of Chelsea soccer star Ashley Cole is still devastated by news of her husband's infidelities. Friends have taken her away from Britain on vacation to try and lift her spirits, but reports indicate that she is barely eating and her weight is dropping dramatically.

If Cheryl decides to present her philandering hubby with papers, early reports state that she could receive as much as 8 million dollars in a divorce settlement.

I bet all women wish they could decide whether to drop their husbands while on vacation in Thailand.

On this day of flowers and romance, it's not all wine and roses in Britain where there's a whiff of romance gone sour — namely, the nasty divorce of former Beatle Paul McCartney and his supermodel ex Heather Mills.

While nothing has been revealed of the ongoing case due to stringent measures placed on already strict British divorce proceedings, one bit of news has circulated via Heather Mills' father.

Heather Mills' father says she won't remain in Britain after the divorce is finalized. This may seem like something of a no-brainer given the way she's been bandied about in the tabloids and mainstream British press. Her father speculates that Mucca, a favorite term for Mills in the British news, will relocate to either the U.S. or France with daughter Beatrice in tow.

Her father also says what she'd probably love to do is just "go abroad and then just slowly fade away into obscurity".

I really have to wonder if that's not just Daddy hoping for his little girl to stop talking for a minute or ten. Given her self-generated appearances in the press, all the interviews, and the claims she's made throughout the divorce proceedings, I'd be rather surprised to see her simply fade away.

In early talks, Heather said she would stay in the UK for five years so Bea would be close to Paul McCartney. If that point has already been addressed in the court, these new claims may make them come up for further scrutiny.

If the two are unable to reach an agreement in the next two days, the case will go to a public hearing, which means every detail will be recorded and published. As Ms. Mills has made so many claims about Paul, this may be just what she's hoping for, but if so I hope she has proof to back up her mouth. I doubt many judges are going to be too pleased with a parade show of slander just for media attention.

Yes friends, the day has finally come. After millions of news articles, several embarrassing interviews, and more mudslinging than a presidential campaign, the divorce hearing for Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills begins today.

The unfortunate, or perhaps fortunate news, is we may never know the outcome. Heather allegedly desires to overturn the normal procedure of British divorce hearings and allow the press to report on the court happenings. Whether her attempt will be a success remains to be seen, but sources claim her rationale for this is to help repair her public image.

She also apparently wanted to settle before they needed to step through the courthouse doors, though Paul reportedly rebuffed all her offers, simply saying he'd see her in court. It's no surprise that the former Beatle may be feeling confident. Heather's interviews and claims have done nothing but sink her in the eyes of the public, and make her appear to be all but insane. Late-breaking news also alleges the former model had an intense affair while Paul was courting her, though nothing happened after her and Paul were married.

It'll be very interesting to see how this one turns out. Should Heather's motion to make the case public be successful, there may be much more to write about. If not, there'll be a lot of speculation unless an agreement is reached out of court. Whatever happens, I'll keep you posted. Something tells me this one won't end so cleanly.