Does Divorce Change Parenting Practices?
Does Divorce Change Parenting Practices?
How many times have you heard the tired cliché: "Divorce is always hardest on children." Hell, I'm embarrassed to say I think I've actually written that phrase on this site. Well, it turns out that it may be a little bit easier on the kids than we all think.
A new study done by Canada's University of Alberta suggests that divorce doesn't adversely impact parenting behavior. The conventional wisdom, of course, is that as you go through the strains of a divorce, it takes a toll on you, and in turn, you invariably make life more difficult for your kids. But researchers in Canada didn't find evidence of that. They say parenting practices of divorcing people remained consistent and weren't all that different from parents who weren't going through a divorce.
It's an interesting study, to be sure, and it gives divorcing parents reason for a little optimism. But I think it's also important to realize that it's not just your behavior that has a bearing on how your kids navigate a divorce. True, you're behavior goes a long way. Your kids are going to take their cues from you. But even if you're handling things well and staying on an even keel with your children, it doesn't necessarily mean they're able to do the same. The report I saw on this study almost leaves you thinking, "hey, I guess divorce isn't that tough on kids," since it doesn't mention the fact that kids may still have emotional difficulties regardless of your behavior.
It's good to know that there are many people who can "keep it together" through a divorce and find a way to maintain some sense of normal parenting. But every divorcing parent still needs to pay really close attention to their kids.
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