Can You Learn To Get It Right The Second Time?
Can You Learn To Get It Right The Second Time?
Second marriage 101
I read an interesting piece recently about classes aimed at couples who are remarrying.
The gist is that most divorced people — even the ones who might have participated in marriage-preparation counseling the first time around — don't avail themselves of that help as they head into a second marriage. Since remarriages end in divorce at a higher rate than first marriages, it seems like second marriage classes might be a good idea.
The story does a good job of pointing out the fact that many divorced people consider themselves "experienced" — they don't expect to fall into the same traps as their first marriages because they've "been there and done that." The problem is, though, that most divorced people probably don't know much about what it takes to have a successful marriage. Sure, there's that segment of jilted partners who had their happy home-life destroyed by a cheating spouse, but for most of us, the road to divorce was a two-way street. Sitting down to talk with someone about the issues unique to remarriages sounds like a good idea.
The problem I have with the concept is that it seems like most classes are happening within churches. If you're not religious, or if you're opposed to pre-marriage counseling from that perspective, you don't seem to have many options.
Perhaps there's an untapped niche for the marriage counseling market here: Secular second-marriage counseling. I question how much benefit someone who doesn't know you or your soon-to-be spouse can provide by meeting with you a few times. If it's geared specifically toward second-marriages, without religious dogma attached, it might just be worthwhile.
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