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India’s Odd Couple Call It Quits

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Mon, 07/02/2007 - 9:17am

The glamorous host of Bravo's “Top Chef” and the author of The Satanic Verses seemed like an odd fit to begin with. So perhaps it’s only natural that Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie are splitting up after a three-year marriage.

Word of their split and impending divorce started circulating over the weekend.

It's Rushdie’s fourth marriage, which isn't all that surprising. After his infamous book was published in 1988, Rushdie drew the ire of many Muslims. Some marriages have problems with things like intimacy or communication. And as difficult as those things are to overcome, what do you suppose it would be like being married to a guy who had a fatwa issued against him?

The fact that there’s a 24-year age gap between Lakshmi, who's 36, and Rushdie, who's 60, probably didn’t help either. A picture of the two of them together leaves you saying, “Padma, honey, you can do better than that.”

Tabloid Sources Aren't Britney's Friends

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Fri, 06/29/2007 - 7:50am

Every time I see celebrity divorce news, I’m reminded how important it is to have good friends to help get you through when your marriage is breaking up. This occurred to me again when word starting circulating yesterday that a “source” started telling the tabloids the latest in the Britney/K-Fed saga.

According to this “source” Britney is having second thoughts about seeking a divorce and wants to try to save the marriage. She is believed to be seeking a reconciliation of some sort. K-Fed, apparently, is happy being single.

I suppose people like Britney and K-Fed have grown accustomed to having their dirty laundry aired all over the place. But that doesn’t mean they feel good about it. I suspect whoever this “source” is, it must not be someone who really has a personal relationship with the pop star.

I’d like to think that anyone who’s truly your friend would be looking to protect you when you’re life is in flux, not spread rumors about you. Friends can help keep your divorce from completely overwhelming you.

Post-Divorce Dating Tips

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Thu, 06/28/2007 - 7:33am

When you’re divorced, just about everyone around you seems to have plenty of advice about how to “get back out there.” And if you’re like me, you find most of it a bit shallow and useless.

If it’s coming from someone who hasn’t been through a divorce, it’s tough not to just ignore it altogether. It’s not their fault. They just don’t have the perspective we do. But it does get annoying listening to Pollyannaish rambling from people who just don’t get it.

An article I noticed this week offered tips from “dating experts” including Susan Shapiro, author of Five Men Who Broke My Heart. Most of the tips are, no doubt, things you’ve heard before, but allow me to walk you through:

1. Don't dive in too quickly just to forget about an unsuccessful marriage.

Do I really need anyone to tell me not to rush into getting involved again? Please.

2. Ask what you learned about yourself from the previous relationship.

Golfer’s Wife Gets Her Fair Share

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 9:27am

Pro golfer Greg Norman and his estranged wife Laura have reached an agreement last week on dividing $300 million in assets. Sounds like a nice problem to have, right? I mean, how difficult can your life really be when you've owned seven private jets?

Well, the Normans’ protracted divorce threatened to get incredibly contentious because Greg tried to claim that Laura didn’t have anything to do with his success on the golf course. And since winning golf tournaments drove several business ventures, he tried to limit Laura‘s share of the marital estate. You’d really expect more from a couple that was together for 25 years. Laura eventually got $100 million.

I feel good for her. After all those years, in one way or another, she had plenty to do with what her husband achieved. And while their financial arrangement wasn’t handed down by a judge, it should help set a precedent for similar cases.

For more on this story, click here.

Calling Dr. Phil: The Lohans Need Help

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 9:20am

If ever a family was crying out for an intervention, it’s the Lohans.

Actress Lindsay Lohan’s troubles are well documented. She’s in rehab a month before her 21st birthday. Meanwhile, her parents continue to bicker with one another over money and visitation rights as their divorce plods along.

And in case you didn’t realize it—and with Lindsay dominating the spotlight it’s understandable that you overlooked it—there are three other Lohan children, ages 19, 13 and 10. This is a family coming apart at the seams.

Dina and Michael Lohan, the parents of this brood, were in a Long Island court Friday arguing over visitation rights for their younger children. Michael also claimed that Dina failed to make payments as part of their separation agreement.

Parents naturally want their children to be achievers. Some want them to be stars. It happened for the Lohans. You’d think that would be enough to keep everyone happy.

Staying Together For the Kids?

Right or wrong?

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Fri, 06/22/2007 - 9:20am

I don’t put much stock in social commentary from anyone who worked in Republican administrations and has contributed to Fox News Channel. But I wanted to give a pro-marriage column written by Linda Chavez that appeared in the Houston Post-Chronicle, the benefit of the doubt.

However, the more I thought about what she said, the more I found her a shill for family values and social conservatives who want to impose their views of what’s right on the public.

I found myself agreeing with her that couples with kids should do everything they can to stay together, but what she asks is just too much wishful thinking. Chavez relates her own story of marrying as a 19-year-old and toughing it out with three kids. She and her husband have been married 40 years. That's a great story of perseverance. But their life isn't for everyone.

Her observation that our high divorce rate is a product of our disposable society is insightful and perhaps true. But then she launches into a bunch of superficial reasons why people seek divorce.

Maturity and Preparation Required

Posted to Relevant News by Amanda Lockhart on Wed, 06/20/2007 - 2:40pm

Life for women in Jamaica sounds like a misogynistic nightmare, at least according to a report in The Jamaica Observer which offers stories of ex-husbands forcing women into sex acts and denying their requests for divorce. Just when you thought you'd seen the worst in men, right?

There's no way to overstate the frustration of wanting to achieve a resolution of marital problems –- whatever that resolution may be –- only to be flatly thwarted by a man who refuses to confront anything. His ambivalence is like his way of saying a dysfunctional marriage is better than no marriage at all.

Tell me if I’m alone here, but I don’t think women can live with that. There is something reassuring about the fact that the underlying problems that lead to divorce are universal: Lack of maturity and lack of preparation for marriage.

The irony is that once you're divorced, you no longer need anyone to tell you how much maturity and preparation are required. If only there was a way to
understand all of that before you jump in with both feet.

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