So here's a question for those of you who've been through a divorce: How did things go the first time you got intimate with some else?

I'm sure we can all have a long conversation about that topic. I saw a letter to a sex columnist that raised this issue, and it was interesting to me because it came from the male perspective. The writer was a 35-year-old divorced "bloke" (it was in a British publication) who said his girlfriend left him because he couldn't keep an erection. For the moment, we'll look past the fact that this must not have been much of a relationship if that was really the reason she left him. The guy is wondering if the remaining emotional weight of his divorce is somehow making it tough on him in bed.

And that's something a lot of divorced people probably face. It's not uncommon at all. A lot of sexual dysfunctions, especially in younger people like this guy, have more to do with the mind than they do with the body. If something like this happens and it's a consistent problem, it's probably worth taking to a therapist who specializes in sexual matters. It goes without saying that making such an appointment for yourself is a daunting step, especially if you're doing it alone. But a divorce can impact your mind in so many ways that you're not consciously aware of. A little help with a problem like this isn't too much for anyone to ask.

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Here's an interesting trend that's sweeping through Germany, and I wonder if this is going to start happening here in the United States: People are opting to forgo wedding rings for second marriages.

Apparently, the divorce rate in Germany is so high (a little more than 50 percent, according to a story I read) that a lot of couples are deciding not to bother with rings. I'm curious whether the guys are still handing out engagement rings, though the story doesn't say. But the trend is starting to have an impact on the jewelry industry in Germany. Only 60 percent of men and 74 percent of women say they wear a wedding band.

Germany sounds like a place that's learning how to live with divorce as a significant part of the culture. Until recently, unmarried couples couldn't claim child tax credits. Now they can. Good to hear that some places in the world realize that for many people, divorce is just a part of life.

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Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

When we last heard from pro golf great Greg Norman, he was squabbling with his ex-wife over their multimillions while he was running around with former tennis star Chris Evert, who also broke up with her husband.

Well, it seems Norman and Evert are more than just a rebound fling for one another. Word came yesterday that wedding bells are going to be ringing soon. The sports power couple has gotten engaged.

Considering the legal wrangling he's been through with his ex-wife, you have to figure Norman is going to have his attorney draw up the mother of all prenups. Color me cynical, but do these celebrity couples ever really survive?

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You’ll be faced with a lot of different advice when you decide to “get back out there” and start dating after your divorce.

I always feel like most of what you hear is pretty useless because every situation is different and you never know who you’re going to meet and what his attitudes are going to be. He may not care that you’re divorced or it may scare the hell out of him. There are too many variables for there to be any blanket advice that everyone should follow.

Nonetheless, the Web is full of post-divorce dating tips. I read a piece on CNN.com the other day that tried to delve into the question of when to tell a date that you’re divorced. And it also offered some advice about how much and how soon you should reveal things about your past. Again, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some things to consider:

1. Be honest about the status of your divorce. If it’s just getting started, that’s different than “I’m divorced.” Don’t be misleading because if a guy gets interested, he could resent you not telling him that you’re at the beginning of a long process.

2. Don’t drag out the details and drag your ex through the mud. Sure, he’s going to be curious if he’s really interested in you, but if you start moaning and groaning about what an ass your ex was, how do you think that’s going to look?

3. Mention that you have kids. Hello? This one should be obvious. You have to be careful you don’t come off looking like you’re asking him to be a second father to your kids, but he has to know you have them.

4. Be sure you’re really ready. You’re only doing yourself and your date a disservice if you try to jump back into the dating pool too soon.

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The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a section on its Web site where they toss out issues for discussion and let readers enter their comments on the topic. They did one this week on dating after divorce, and it got a ton of traffic and a lot of interesting, honest responses.

This is a subject that gets covered an awful lot by newspapers and magazines. But after you read too many “tips on dating after divorce” stories, it’s easy to lose interest. They get stale after a while. The advice is always the same: Don’t rush into something you’re not really ready for, don’t introduce your date to your kids too soon, etc. If you have half a brain in your head, you know these things.

But I was pretty impressed with the depth and variety of the reader responses here. I found them far more interesting than most of the “staff-written” stories I’ve read on the subject. And that stands to reason: The responses are real.

One woman wrote about how she watched her mom go through two divorces, 14 years apart, and how challenging it was to understand and deal with what was happening, the first time at age 3 and again at age 17. Another person said it’s not a good idea to set firm milestones for a post-divorce relationship, such as “I’ll introduce my date to my kids once we get to six months.”

The whole thing is just a refreshing take on the topic, and worth reading.

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I read an article yesterday that does a pretty good job of addressing all of the key points on this subject. You have to remember that your post-divorce dating life is probably going to be tougher on your kids that it is on you. Regardless of their age, kids deal with a lot of emotions when a divorced parents start dating again.

The way you and your ex co-parent through your divorce can go a long way toward easing the difficulty for your kids when you do want to date again. If you've made sure they understand that their feelings matter to you, the whole thing will probably be easier for them to handle.

But the experts quoted in the story point out that a lot of divorced parents make the mistake of either trying to "get back out there" too soon or introducing dates to their kids too soon. You have to leave enough time after your divorce to settle into your "new" life. You and your kids all need time to get used to the way things work now that the marriage is over. If you start dating before that happens, you're asking for trouble.

If you have kids, I don't think you really have the freedom to approach dating as you did before your marriage. And that sucks. You're probably going to resent it. And nobody can blame you for that. But your kids should be your first consideration, and your choices should be guided by the effort to do right by them.

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One of the things that going through a divorce means for many people is that eventually you have to re-learn how to date.

Yes, re-learn. Because no doubt at least a few things have changed since before your marriage. And if you have children, it’s not just a whole new ballgame, it’s an entirely different sport. The Hartford Courant ran a story this week that had some tips for divorced parents who are dating again. These are tricky waters to navigate, and the story mentions that you and your kids may not see eye to eye on everything, regardless of how old they are.

There were two main pieces of advice in the story. First, make sure you’re ready to date and that you’re not just trying to find a new relationship to relieve the pain of your divorce. And second, don’t introduce your date to your kids too soon.

That seems to be one of the biggest problems that divorced parents run into when they start dating again. Just because you’re ready to be “out there” again doesn’t mean your kids are ready to accept that. They may still have unresolved emotional issues about your divorce. And if you and your ex haven’t taken steps to make sure you’re co-parenting well, there’s likely to be a ton of friction as you start dating.

Get to know a date first, take your time. You owe that to yourself, and you owe it to your kids to make it as easy on them as you can.

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The writer who brought us “The Starter Wife” is developing a comedy-drama series about divorce for NBC.

Novelist Gigi Levangie Grazer’s “The Starter Wife” was adapted into a mini-series that aired on USA Network earlier this year. A Reuters report on Levangie Grazer’s deal with NBC didn’t mention when the new show would air or what its title would be. But based on its premise, the show sounds like it’ll be worth watching.

It’ll tell the story of a 30-something couple with two kids that’s getting a divorce, but still living together. Levangie Grazer knows the subject well. She’s in the process of her second divorce, splitting up with Hollywood producer Brian Grazer. The show will deal with a lot of the issues we write about here at FWW, namely how to divorce in peace and how to co-parent through a divorce. As Levangie Grazer said in the Reuters story, acrimonious divorces are "so 1990s."

I’m interested to give this one a shot. Here’s hoping NBC doesn’t give it a quick hook and pull the plug on it before it finds its footing. A show like this could give a lot of people a little sense of comfort. Sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of a reminder that there are lots of people out there dealing with the same things you are.

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What happens when two of the women in a deceased man’s life can’t agree on what happens to his remains? Well, they end up fighting it out in court in a series of proceedings that — no disrespect to the deceased intended — sound like something off the Jerry Springer show. Or at least a bad episode of Judge Judy.

John E. Burrell, a retired Army sergeant, actually had three women in his life. He was on his third marriage when he died in 2005. He left his third wife in 2000 and went back to live with his first wife. Burrell and his third wife never divorced. But he was still living with his first wife at the time of his death two years ago.

A North Carolina appeals court this week ruled that his third wife — the one to whom he was legally married when he died — had the rights to his body. In case you’re wondering (and we know you are) Burrell’s remains have been stored in a mortuary while all of this legal drama played itself out.

There’s no way to know what was really happening with all these people from afar, but it certainly sounds like no one involved here took marriage very seriously. Who in her right mind lets a man leave her to go back with his first wife, who he split up with in 1969?!?! And then lets him stay there for five years without divorcing him?

Love. What can you say? It makes you do crazy things.

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