Divorce has only been legal in Ireland since 1997. Now that a decade has gone by since it became an option, that nation is beginning to come to grips with it and a funny thing is happening. Life is still going on, and as counterintuitive as this seems to be, the marriage rate has actually risen by more than seven percent.

But more than that, there seems to be a new, progressive attitude about marriage and relationships that is taking root in Ireland. Adults under age 35, especially, are at the forefront of the changes. A recent survey found that 57 percent said it's acceptable for a couple to live together without being married. When the couple in question have children, 49 percent said they were okay with it when the couples had kids — a smaller number, but still pretty impressive considering the short lifespan of divorce in Ireland.

Of course, there is still a debate over whether changing the law has led to a breakdown of family values. But a column I read the other day astutely pointed out that people aren't anti-family, they're simply pro-choice. They want for there to be options, and for a "family" to not be so tightly defined. And they want for those who are so supportive of marriage and family to soften their stance and support "the quality of family life, regardless of what shape or form it comes in."

The column is a good read. You should check it out.

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With Valentine's Day coming up, every form of media is full of images of people getting engaged or married and the jewelry stores are obviously doing big business. But for the large segment of the population that is divorced, it's an entirely different thought process when it comes to wedding and engagement rings. The San Francisco Chronicle ran an interesting story on Friday about the question of what should happen to your rings once your marriage is over.

The accepted protocol on engagement rings seems to be that you get to keep it. Legally, it's not considered part of the marital assets because it was a gift given to you before you were married. And aside from that, a guy would have to really be a greedy bastard to ask to have it back. I can see a guy doing that, though, if the ring was a family heirloom. I think I'd have a hard time holding on to the engagement ring if it had belonged to my ex's grandmother, or something like that.

The wedding rings are a whole different story. Some people attach a lot of emotional meaning to them and choose not to part with them. Some people have them melted down and made into other pieces of jewelry. Some women sell both the wedding and engagement rings to pay for lawyers. One man quoted in the story said his wife sold her rings so she could get a boob job.

I think it's all a matter of personal preference. And it's probably a function of how amicable the breakup is, too. If it was angry and bitter, you might be more inclined to get rid of the rings, along with everything else in your house that had anything to do with the guy. One woman said she wanted both of the wedding rings to be kept together after her divorce, just because it seemed to her like the right thing to do. Her ex didn't see it that way, so it didn't happen.

So let's hear from all of you. What happened to your rings?

Leave it to Dr. Drew to get this whole Britney Spears thing figured out.

Drew Pinsky — the guy who hosted "Loveline" on MTV and who now hosts "Celebrity Rehab" on VH1 — was quoted recently by US Magazine saying that Britney's emotional and addiction problems and her divorce simply were unavoidable. He says that having a parent with an addiction — which Britney does — puts you at a significant risk of developing a similar problem. And the fact that Britney had an unstable home life as a child goes a long way toward explaining what we've seen from her in the last couple of years.

Of course, Dr. Drew may just be angling to get the pop princess booked onto "Celebrity Rehab." Tell me that doesn't scream ratings bonanza. Who needs Hollywood writers when there's Britney and cheaply made low-brow reality programming?

In all seriousness, the guy does give a lot of insightful answers and it's worth reading through the Q & A he did with US Magazine. One of the big points you take away from what he says is that when parents have a messy relationship, there's a really good chance the kids are going to struggle emotionally, both in the short term and in the long term. If you have kids and your marriage is ending, at a certain point you have prioritize their well-being.

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So here's a question for those of you who've been through a divorce: How did things go the first time you got intimate with some else?

I'm sure we can all have a long conversation about that topic. I saw a letter to a sex columnist that raised this issue, and it was interesting to me because it came from the male perspective. The writer was a 35-year-old divorced "bloke" (it was in a British publication) who said his girlfriend left him because he couldn't keep an erection. For the moment, we'll look past the fact that this must not have been much of a relationship if that was really the reason she left him. The guy is wondering if the remaining emotional weight of his divorce is somehow making it tough on him in bed.

And that's something a lot of divorced people probably face. It's not uncommon at all. A lot of sexual dysfunctions, especially in younger people like this guy, have more to do with the mind than they do with the body. If something like this happens and it's a consistent problem, it's probably worth taking to a therapist who specializes in sexual matters. It goes without saying that making such an appointment for yourself is a daunting step, especially if you're doing it alone. But a divorce can impact your mind in so many ways that you're not consciously aware of. A little help with a problem like this isn't too much for anyone to ask.

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Here's an interesting trend that's sweeping through Germany, and I wonder if this is going to start happening here in the United States: People are opting to forgo wedding rings for second marriages.

Apparently, the divorce rate in Germany is so high (a little more than 50 percent, according to a story I read) that a lot of couples are deciding not to bother with rings. I'm curious whether the guys are still handing out engagement rings, though the story doesn't say. But the trend is starting to have an impact on the jewelry industry in Germany. Only 60 percent of men and 74 percent of women say they wear a wedding band.

Germany sounds like a place that's learning how to live with divorce as a significant part of the culture. Until recently, unmarried couples couldn't claim child tax credits. Now they can. Good to hear that some places in the world realize that for many people, divorce is just a part of life.

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Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

There are divorce books, divorce movies, divorce TV shows — and in case you didn't realize it, there's also a divorce album. With its 30th anniversary coming up next year, Marvin Gaye's "Here, My Dear" is being remastered and reissued next month.

The 1978 record chronicled Gaye's divorce from Anna Gordy. It was slammed by critics and got a cool reception from fans because it was too personal and didn't hold much promise of becoming a commercial success. Too personal? Whatever would give you that idea? Song titles like "You Can Leave, But It's Gonna Cost You" wouldn't have anything to do with it, right?

Years later, Rolling Stone ranked it No. 462 among its 500 greatest albums. Just because it's not a book written by some pseudo-intellectual doesn't mean it's not a valuable document on divorce.

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It's not all that often that I hear someone plugging a new book and I find myself actually wanting to go out and find a copy. But I was intrigued by an article I read on a new release by a Chicago-area novelist.

Anastasia Royal didn't set out to write a novel. She was making a record of her thoughts and feelings as she made her way through her divorce. Years later she used those writings as the basis for her book. Since I haven't read it, I can't really give you a review, but the way she describes it certainly makes it sound as though it would be an interesting read. She talks about all of the different phases of the process, even referring to some of it as "boring."

That's an interesting notion, and one that I wouldn't really think would apply to divorce. It's many things, but boring never really struck me.

Royal's protagonist — and by extension, Royal herself — sounds quite insightful. She obviously took the time to stop and observe and reflect on what was happening to her. I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone what a rewarding experience that can be, whether you're divorced or not.

I think it's valuable to get an outside perspective on divorce, and one that isn't necessarily bound by "real life" sounds like a refreshing escape. It's always reassuring to know that there are others experiencing the same things as you. There's something to be said for having your feelings validated.

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Not long ago, I wrote about evangelical Christians' softening stance on divorce. It seems many believers no longer feel that a divorce should exclude someone from the church, though some still place restrictions on it. They'll give you a pass if you split up because your ex cheated on you or was abusive or abandoned you. But they still look down on divorced people for the most part.

It seems that churches and religious leaders are beginning to find a way to bend on their long-held disdain for divorce. Part of it may be motivated by high-profile clergy whose marriages have ended. One pastor we've written about before, Juanita Bynum, goes as far as to suggest that her divorce will help her ministry because it will allow divorced people to feel comfortable listening to her, since she's been down the same road they have. Some churches are allowing people to become clergy even if they've gone through a divorce — although it has to be the right kind of divorce: either they were abused, abandoned or adultered upon.

It's good that the churches are loosening up, but the fact that some of them are so picky about the circumstances of a divorce is still scary to me. A lot of non-religious people (myself included) don't care for the idea of a church telling us how we should live. I guess Christianity's new view on divorce is one step in the right direction, though.

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You’ll be faced with a lot of different advice when you decide to “get back out there” and start dating after your divorce.

I always feel like most of what you hear is pretty useless because every situation is different and you never know who you’re going to meet and what his attitudes are going to be. He may not care that you’re divorced or it may scare the hell out of him. There are too many variables for there to be any blanket advice that everyone should follow.

Nonetheless, the Web is full of post-divorce dating tips. I read a piece on CNN.com the other day that tried to delve into the question of when to tell a date that you’re divorced. And it also offered some advice about how much and how soon you should reveal things about your past. Again, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some things to consider:

1. Be honest about the status of your divorce. If it’s just getting started, that’s different than “I’m divorced.” Don’t be misleading because if a guy gets interested, he could resent you not telling him that you’re at the beginning of a long process.

2. Don’t drag out the details and drag your ex through the mud. Sure, he’s going to be curious if he’s really interested in you, but if you start moaning and groaning about what an ass your ex was, how do you think that’s going to look?

3. Mention that you have kids. Hello? This one should be obvious. You have to be careful you don’t come off looking like you’re asking him to be a second father to your kids, but he has to know you have them.

4. Be sure you’re really ready. You’re only doing yourself and your date a disservice if you try to jump back into the dating pool too soon.

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