Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell anyone who’s been within a country mile of a divorce that the holiday season can be especially difficult. Regardless of where you are in your life, being at one gathering after another full of family and friends after your marriage has broken up is a strain on your emotions. It’s tough enough trying to navigate yourself through that minefield, but if you’ve got kids it’s an even greater challenge.

I saw a story the other day that dealt with this issue. It talked mostly about how to help your kids through the holidays if a close relative has passed away. But the basic idea is that when the family dynamic changes, whether it’s because of death or divorce, kids need to have new traditions to help them adapt. And they need to be involved in helping create those traditions. If you force changes on them, it’s not going to work. If you’re resentful of the new circumstances — which can easily happen if you have to split time with your ex during the holidays — your kids will have trouble taking to the new arrangements.

Like anything else involving your kids, you have to stay positive and give them a chance to express themselves. There may be old traditions you can hang on to or adapt in some way. But the bottom line is that you have to pay attention to your kids’ feelings, and you have to communicate.

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You’ll be faced with a lot of different advice when you decide to “get back out there” and start dating after your divorce.

I always feel like most of what you hear is pretty useless because every situation is different and you never know who you’re going to meet and what his attitudes are going to be. He may not care that you’re divorced or it may scare the hell out of him. There are too many variables for there to be any blanket advice that everyone should follow.

Nonetheless, the Web is full of post-divorce dating tips. I read a piece on CNN.com the other day that tried to delve into the question of when to tell a date that you’re divorced. And it also offered some advice about how much and how soon you should reveal things about your past. Again, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some things to consider:

1. Be honest about the status of your divorce. If it’s just getting started, that’s different than “I’m divorced.” Don’t be misleading because if a guy gets interested, he could resent you not telling him that you’re at the beginning of a long process.

2. Don’t drag out the details and drag your ex through the mud. Sure, he’s going to be curious if he’s really interested in you, but if you start moaning and groaning about what an ass your ex was, how do you think that’s going to look?

3. Mention that you have kids. Hello? This one should be obvious. You have to be careful you don’t come off looking like you’re asking him to be a second father to your kids, but he has to know you have them.

4. Be sure you’re really ready. You’re only doing yourself and your date a disservice if you try to jump back into the dating pool too soon.

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The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a section on its Web site where they toss out issues for discussion and let readers enter their comments on the topic. They did one this week on dating after divorce, and it got a ton of traffic and a lot of interesting, honest responses.

This is a subject that gets covered an awful lot by newspapers and magazines. But after you read too many “tips on dating after divorce” stories, it’s easy to lose interest. They get stale after a while. The advice is always the same: Don’t rush into something you’re not really ready for, don’t introduce your date to your kids too soon, etc. If you have half a brain in your head, you know these things.

But I was pretty impressed with the depth and variety of the reader responses here. I found them far more interesting than most of the “staff-written” stories I’ve read on the subject. And that stands to reason: The responses are real.

One woman wrote about how she watched her mom go through two divorces, 14 years apart, and how challenging it was to understand and deal with what was happening, the first time at age 3 and again at age 17. Another person said it’s not a good idea to set firm milestones for a post-divorce relationship, such as “I’ll introduce my date to my kids once we get to six months.”

The whole thing is just a refreshing take on the topic, and worth reading.

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