There's a strange set of laws in Japan that are making things difficult for children who are born within 300 days of a divorce and their mothers.

I don't pretend to understand the intricacies of Japan's divorce laws or its "child registration" laws, but from what I can tell, if a child is born within 300 days after a divorce, the child is legally considered the offspring of the mother's former husband. As you might imagine, that could cause all sorts of problems.

A news report I read about this issue cited one example where a couple split up and the woman conceived a baby with her new boyfriend. But the ex-husband didn't make sure that the divorce papers went through in a timely manner. Because of the delay, the baby was born 155 days after the divorce was finalized, and now there's a dust-up over who the child's father is, according to the law.

Wow, this whole thing seems really silly. So many times, when I read about these antiquated, overly complicated family laws in other countries, I'm not sure what surprises me more — the fact that any of these laws are still on the books or the fact that anyone cooked them up in the first place. What possible purpose does a law like this serve?

One order of common sense for the folks in Japan, please!

Click here for more.

Leave it to Dr. Drew to get this whole Britney Spears thing figured out.

Drew Pinsky — the guy who hosted "Loveline" on MTV and who now hosts "Celebrity Rehab" on VH1 — was quoted recently by US Magazine saying that Britney's emotional and addiction problems and her divorce simply were unavoidable. He says that having a parent with an addiction — which Britney does — puts you at a significant risk of developing a similar problem. And the fact that Britney had an unstable home life as a child goes a long way toward explaining what we've seen from her in the last couple of years.

Of course, Dr. Drew may just be angling to get the pop princess booked onto "Celebrity Rehab." Tell me that doesn't scream ratings bonanza. Who needs Hollywood writers when there's Britney and cheaply made low-brow reality programming?

In all seriousness, the guy does give a lot of insightful answers and it's worth reading through the Q & A he did with US Magazine. One of the big points you take away from what he says is that when parents have a messy relationship, there's a really good chance the kids are going to struggle emotionally, both in the short term and in the long term. If you have kids and your marriage is ending, at a certain point you have prioritize their well-being.

Click here for more.

We do a lot of writing here at FWW about how to navigate through a divorce and then move beyond it. And there's no shortage of advice on the topic. I read a lot of these types of "tips" articles, quoting one expert after another, all of them pretty much saying the same things. Like anything else repetitive, it begins to lose its meaning after a while, particularly since the advice always seems like it's being offered in a vacuum. There's only so much "divorce theory" you can read before you wonder how much of the so-called insight really holds any water in practical application.

Well, I saw a piece in the Vancover Sun about a book on divorced couples compiled by a radio producer for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Each chapter is an essay about a divorced couple that has managed to put aside their own differences and sometimes go to extreme measures to keep life on an even keel for their children. The writer, herself, is divorced and shares a house with her ex husband. He lives on one floor, she lives on another, and their kids have both parents under one roof, so to speak.

It sounds like this book might offer a lot of real-world solutions for families that are breaking up. Of course, there's no such thing as one size fits all, and what these people have done may not work for you. But maybe some variation on the solutions they've come up with will prove useful to you. And maybe reading their stories can offer a little bit of hope that it can all work out for the best.

Click here for more.

Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

With the increasing emphasis on mediation and collaborative divorces, perhaps it stands to reason that some of those ideas are taking hold in areas of post-divorce life, like navigating the holidays.

I read an article about a woman who co-wrote a book on this subject. You'll never guess who the other co-writer was — her husband's ex wife! It's actually a nice niche for divorce information that tends to get ignored. We get hung up so much in the legal process, dividing up assets and figuring out visitation schedules that it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that kids get pulled in a lot of different directions during holidays. And that's not good.

It may seem strange — check that, it definitely seems strange — but the two women who wrote this book have combined holiday gatherings that include all parents and step-parents. And it's all for the kids' benefit. I think the important thing here is that they listened to what their children wanted. What felt right to the kids was to have everyone around them at the holidays, and the adults took it upon themselves to make it happen.

I'm not saying it's easy. Hell, I'm not even saying that I could do it. I mean, suppose your ex has remarried, but you haven't. Picture yourself alone and going over to see your ex and his new wife. Not an easy thing to do, no matter how much you love your kids.

I remember an old episode of "ER" where Anthony Edwards' character, Dr. Greene, has to go see his ex wife and her new husband so Greene can give his daughter a Christmas present. It's just a TV show, but it illustrated how completely awkward the situation can be.

I think this is something every family has to figure out for itself. And as the authors of the book point out, you have to listen to your kids. It may not be easy, but putting aside your hostilities toward your ex and giving your kids what they want may be the thing to do. It's the holidays, after all.

A horrific tragedy that occurred last week in Maryland provides a cautionary tale for mothers who have split up from their abusive ex husbands.

A father shot and killed his ex wife and three children in a park where the couple met for visitation exchanges. He then turned the gun on himself and took his own life. To put it mildly, there is no end to the sorrow of this story. But perhaps the most tragic element is that it should easily have been avoided.

The mother won a domestic violence case against her husband while they were still married. Maryland law prohibits the subjects of protective orders from possessing firearms. There need to be more laws of that nature. One of the loopholes in Maryland is that the firearm provision doesn’t apply to the subjects of temporary protective orders. You hate to brand anyone as a potential murderer, but when the lives of children are involved, every precaution should be taken. If a woman feels unsafe enough to seek a protective order, nothing should be left to chance — especially not if the order is granted.

Of course, getting your hands on a weapon is not exactly that difficult, especially for someone who has already made up his mind to commit a violent act. What an incredibly senseless tragedy this was.

Click here for more.

There is no shortage of books, articles and advice for guiding children through a divorce. But I ran across an article the other day that offered a fresh perspective. And it’s one that really counts because it comes from someone who lived through a couple of divorces.

A 22-year-old California native who recently graduated from Johns Hopkins University has written a book for children about dealing with their parents’ divorce. Max Sindell has been through this a couple of times. His father has had three marriages, so he’s got two step-mothers. He’s navigated the blended family, shared custody and choosing which family to be with during the holidays. So he writes from a first-hand perspective that gives him instant credibility.

So much of the advice about divorce and everything related to it comes at us from so-called "experts." We quote them and refer to them all the time. But usually we don’t dig too deeply into their backgrounds. We don’t ask what they really know about divorce. It’s refreshing to see what a young voice has to say about the subject. Surprisingly, the experience wasn’t all gloom and doom for Sindell, and that may be his most important message.

Click here for more.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell anyone who’s been within a country mile of a divorce that the holiday season can be especially difficult. Regardless of where you are in your life, being at one gathering after another full of family and friends after your marriage has broken up is a strain on your emotions. It’s tough enough trying to navigate yourself through that minefield, but if you’ve got kids it’s an even greater challenge.

I saw a story the other day that dealt with this issue. It talked mostly about how to help your kids through the holidays if a close relative has passed away. But the basic idea is that when the family dynamic changes, whether it’s because of death or divorce, kids need to have new traditions to help them adapt. And they need to be involved in helping create those traditions. If you force changes on them, it’s not going to work. If you’re resentful of the new circumstances — which can easily happen if you have to split time with your ex during the holidays — your kids will have trouble taking to the new arrangements.

Like anything else involving your kids, you have to stay positive and give them a chance to express themselves. There may be old traditions you can hang on to or adapt in some way. But the bottom line is that you have to pay attention to your kids’ feelings, and you have to communicate.

Click here for more.

You’ll be faced with a lot of different advice when you decide to “get back out there” and start dating after your divorce.

I always feel like most of what you hear is pretty useless because every situation is different and you never know who you’re going to meet and what his attitudes are going to be. He may not care that you’re divorced or it may scare the hell out of him. There are too many variables for there to be any blanket advice that everyone should follow.

Nonetheless, the Web is full of post-divorce dating tips. I read a piece on CNN.com the other day that tried to delve into the question of when to tell a date that you’re divorced. And it also offered some advice about how much and how soon you should reveal things about your past. Again, I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer, but here are some things to consider:

1. Be honest about the status of your divorce. If it’s just getting started, that’s different than “I’m divorced.” Don’t be misleading because if a guy gets interested, he could resent you not telling him that you’re at the beginning of a long process.

2. Don’t drag out the details and drag your ex through the mud. Sure, he’s going to be curious if he’s really interested in you, but if you start moaning and groaning about what an ass your ex was, how do you think that’s going to look?

3. Mention that you have kids. Hello? This one should be obvious. You have to be careful you don’t come off looking like you’re asking him to be a second father to your kids, but he has to know you have them.

4. Be sure you’re really ready. You’re only doing yourself and your date a disservice if you try to jump back into the dating pool too soon.

Click here for more.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a section on its Web site where they toss out issues for discussion and let readers enter their comments on the topic. They did one this week on dating after divorce, and it got a ton of traffic and a lot of interesting, honest responses.

This is a subject that gets covered an awful lot by newspapers and magazines. But after you read too many “tips on dating after divorce” stories, it’s easy to lose interest. They get stale after a while. The advice is always the same: Don’t rush into something you’re not really ready for, don’t introduce your date to your kids too soon, etc. If you have half a brain in your head, you know these things.

But I was pretty impressed with the depth and variety of the reader responses here. I found them far more interesting than most of the “staff-written” stories I’ve read on the subject. And that stands to reason: The responses are real.

One woman wrote about how she watched her mom go through two divorces, 14 years apart, and how challenging it was to understand and deal with what was happening, the first time at age 3 and again at age 17. Another person said it’s not a good idea to set firm milestones for a post-divorce relationship, such as “I’ll introduce my date to my kids once we get to six months.”

The whole thing is just a refreshing take on the topic, and worth reading.

Click here for more.