With Valentine's Day coming up, every form of media is full of images of people getting engaged or married and the jewelry stores are obviously doing big business. But for the large segment of the population that is divorced, it's an entirely different thought process when it comes to wedding and engagement rings. The San Francisco Chronicle ran an interesting story on Friday about the question of what should happen to your rings once your marriage is over.

The accepted protocol on engagement rings seems to be that you get to keep it. Legally, it's not considered part of the marital assets because it was a gift given to you before you were married. And aside from that, a guy would have to really be a greedy bastard to ask to have it back. I can see a guy doing that, though, if the ring was a family heirloom. I think I'd have a hard time holding on to the engagement ring if it had belonged to my ex's grandmother, or something like that.

The wedding rings are a whole different story. Some people attach a lot of emotional meaning to them and choose not to part with them. Some people have them melted down and made into other pieces of jewelry. Some women sell both the wedding and engagement rings to pay for lawyers. One man quoted in the story said his wife sold her rings so she could get a boob job.

I think it's all a matter of personal preference. And it's probably a function of how amicable the breakup is, too. If it was angry and bitter, you might be more inclined to get rid of the rings, along with everything else in your house that had anything to do with the guy. One woman said she wanted both of the wedding rings to be kept together after her divorce, just because it seemed to her like the right thing to do. Her ex didn't see it that way, so it didn't happen.

So let's hear from all of you. What happened to your rings?

I'm not certain if I reached the proverbial "end of the Internet" the other day, but I read an idiotic blog posting by a writer from London's The Business magazine. If it wasn't the end, here's hoping it was damn close, or else the Web has become a very dumb place.

He says the reason divorce rates are rising is because women are using the pill and it's screwing up our sense of smell.

Yeah, see, before I even try to explain it, you're already tuning out. The reasoning is that we pick prospective mates based on a sub-conscious sense of smell that attracts us to them. That much I can deal with. I know all about pheromones. But he says since the pill mimics pregnancy, it alters that whole chemical balance and leads us to be attracted to the wrong guys.

Not much scientific reasoning behind this one. Just a blogger needing to fill his space for the day, I think. And that means the Internet is turning out just like TV.

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Here's one of those medical study stories that you're not sure whether to believe. But if there's any credence to it, this one is pretty scary.

Researchers in Sweden say that babies of separated parents are three times more likely to develop diabetes. The theory is that children — even babies — pick up on the stress their parents are feeling and it causes them to becomes stressed, themselves. And that, in turn, leads to auto-immunity, a condition where the immune system attacks insulin-producing cells.

I only saw a brief mention of this and didn't see much else in the way of support for the theory. But if there's anything to this study, it's something worth looking into. Here in the U.S., we have increasing rates of childhood obesity and diabetes, and I don't remember hearing anyone link up these problems with our sky-high divorce rate. Is there a correlation? Maybe there are some more researchers out there willing to check it out.

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So here's a question for those of you who've been through a divorce: How did things go the first time you got intimate with some else?

I'm sure we can all have a long conversation about that topic. I saw a letter to a sex columnist that raised this issue, and it was interesting to me because it came from the male perspective. The writer was a 35-year-old divorced "bloke" (it was in a British publication) who said his girlfriend left him because he couldn't keep an erection. For the moment, we'll look past the fact that this must not have been much of a relationship if that was really the reason she left him. The guy is wondering if the remaining emotional weight of his divorce is somehow making it tough on him in bed.

And that's something a lot of divorced people probably face. It's not uncommon at all. A lot of sexual dysfunctions, especially in younger people like this guy, have more to do with the mind than they do with the body. If something like this happens and it's a consistent problem, it's probably worth taking to a therapist who specializes in sexual matters. It goes without saying that making such an appointment for yourself is a daunting step, especially if you're doing it alone. But a divorce can impact your mind in so many ways that you're not consciously aware of. A little help with a problem like this isn't too much for anyone to ask.

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A couple from California has written a recently published book on how marriages can be saved. Now, the book is published by Focus on the Family and their quotes in a McClatchy Newspapers story are couched in religious overtones. But setting those things aside, these two sound like they have some reasonable advice.

The first thing Joe and Michelle Williams point out is that despite the fact that their book was published by a religious organization, the two of them aren’t clergy. So this is not a couple of ministers telling you what they think God says you should do. On the contrary, these are two very imperfect people. They’ve each been married four times. They had a two-year separation from one another, and Joe has dealt with alcohol abuse.

Religion has been a big key in helping them get their marriage back on track. And that’s simply not going to work for everyone, yours truly included. But they also seem to have some decent real-world advice. They talk about not giving up who you are in a relationship. They talk about sticking with activities you enjoy, even if your spouse doesn’t, which is one thing a lot of people probably don’t stop to think about.

Of course, a lot of people here at FWW are already divorced. But if you’re in the “contemplating divorce” stage, and if you’re a person of faith, this may be a book you want to check out.

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Somewhere, Lorena Bobbitt is smiling.

A court in Taiwan has granted a man a divorce because his wife has been threatening to cut off his penis.

What a perfectly lovely story this is.

The couple has been married for 10 years. Two years ago, the wife began to suspect that her husband was cheating. And that's when she started making threats against his manhood. She would wake him up in the middle of the night to interrogate him and let him know that bad things might be happening to that sensitive part of the anatomy.

You think that’s sick, try this: She started sharpening a knife and leaving it next to the bed. Think about how brave this guy must have been to get into bed every night with a woman like that.

So, given all this information, the court decided there was no way this couple could continue living together and granted the divorce.

See what you started, Lorena?

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Sounds horrendous doesn't it? Like the kind of thing you'd expect to see in a soap opera. But under the circumstances, it is the right thing to do.

The man's wife has an incurable condition and will be in a coma for the rest of her life. He has agreed to arrange for her care. But he also has an ailing mother to take care of, so the court has permitted his divorce. There are no easy decisions here, for either the court or the man involved.

A story in the China Post briefly says that the comatose woman can't "fulfill her role as a wife." I was just about to suggest that rulings like this show that maybe Chinese authorities are beginning to demonstrate a more progressive approach. But this is still a very patriarchal society. I can't help but wonder what the court's ruling might have been if things were reversed, and it was the husband in the coma.

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The story comes out of Madrid, and I saw it on the website of Pakistan's Daily Times. The gist of it is that a lot of professional athletes get divorced and abuse drugs during the first year after their playing days are over.

It doesn't take much thinking to figure it out. You spend all those years being cheered, making millions, having something all-encompassing around which your life revolves. And then it's all gone.

I'm not sure what happens abroad, but here in the U.S., a lot of former pro athletes and coaches end up taking jobs as sports analysts on TV. For some, it turns into a long-term second career, and I think a big part of the reason they do it is that it keeps them connected to the game. And if that keeps their marriages from falling apart, then it's a good thing.

There's been a lot of talk lately about the National Football League's poor record of taking care of its former players, many of whom suffer tremendous physical problems after retiring. But you have to wonder whether any of the pro leagues are seeing to the mental health of their former players. With all of the spouses and families that could be impacted when athletes have trouble adjusting to retirement, it seems like something the leagues should be doing.

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As we all know, there are many reasons that people seek divorced in midlife. It could be a midlife crisis — that's a big one among men. It could be just moving into different stages of their lives, particularly for women who stayed at home and raised kids.

However, I read a story the other day that offered up a more firm explanation, and it makes a lot of sense to me.

Louann Brizendine, a neurologist in California, says that our brain chemistry changes as we go through menopause. The chemicals that give us those "maternal instincts" everyone talks about are on the decline as we get older.

And Brizendine says that leads us to become more independent as we age. According to a story in the Sydney Morning Herald, the majority of divorces in couples over age 40 are initiated by women. Perhaps this could be one reason.

I love learning about things like this. It's easy to feel isolated when you go through a divorce, so every time you discover something that lets you know that you're not alone — that what you're experiencing is not unique to you — it's a good feeling.

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It’s not surprising when children of divorced parents end up having behavioral problems. But a new study that was published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry says there may be one underlying reason for both the parents’ divorce and the children’s behavior issues: heredity.

Without getting into the methodology of the study, the basic finding was that parents who are genetically prone to being unhappy in their marriages are more likely to have children who experience depression and anxiety. So maybe it’s not the divorce that’s so tough on the kids—it’s the genes.

Of course, there’s a bit of a “chicken and the egg” here. Did the kids’ depression surface before or after the divorce happened? In some cases, the kids’ issues started before the parents actually split up, but there was already tension in the marriage.

Research aside, the important message here is that parents need to pay really close attention to their kids when marital problems start. The kids will naturally pick up on the rising tension in the home.

Somehow, you have to find a way to manage your own emotions and help your kids’ manage theirs too. That’s a challenge with no easy solutions. But being aware of everyone’s feelings is half the battle.

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