We'd all like to think that divorces can be accomplished without ugliness and outright nastiness, but we all know it doesn't happen that way much of the time. And a woman in Des Moines is finding that out the hard way.

The woman claims that her husband broke into a safe — presumably in their house — and took a $3,000 cashier's check that she intended to use to pay her lawyer. She reported the incident to police, according to a report in the Des Moines Register. But as some reader comments on the Register's Web site indicate, she may not have any legal recourse. Since they're not divorced yet, it may be tough for her to lay claim to that money as "hers."

And that underscores the importance of something we talk about here at FWW all the time: separating your finances as soon as you can once a divorce gets started. Now, it's true that she might very well have done that. And depending on who the cashier's check was made out to, the guy may not be able to do anything with it anyway.

But in any case, if you're worried your ex is going to do something to screw you, it's crucial to take precautions. You'd think putting the check in a safe would be good enough. But apparently not. Learn from this woman's tough luck and don't let something like this happen to you.

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With Valentine's Day coming up, every form of media is full of images of people getting engaged or married and the jewelry stores are obviously doing big business. But for the large segment of the population that is divorced, it's an entirely different thought process when it comes to wedding and engagement rings. The San Francisco Chronicle ran an interesting story on Friday about the question of what should happen to your rings once your marriage is over.

The accepted protocol on engagement rings seems to be that you get to keep it. Legally, it's not considered part of the marital assets because it was a gift given to you before you were married. And aside from that, a guy would have to really be a greedy bastard to ask to have it back. I can see a guy doing that, though, if the ring was a family heirloom. I think I'd have a hard time holding on to the engagement ring if it had belonged to my ex's grandmother, or something like that.

The wedding rings are a whole different story. Some people attach a lot of emotional meaning to them and choose not to part with them. Some people have them melted down and made into other pieces of jewelry. Some women sell both the wedding and engagement rings to pay for lawyers. One man quoted in the story said his wife sold her rings so she could get a boob job.

I think it's all a matter of personal preference. And it's probably a function of how amicable the breakup is, too. If it was angry and bitter, you might be more inclined to get rid of the rings, along with everything else in your house that had anything to do with the guy. One woman said she wanted both of the wedding rings to be kept together after her divorce, just because it seemed to her like the right thing to do. Her ex didn't see it that way, so it didn't happen.

So let's hear from all of you. What happened to your rings?

This is a fun little story out of Canada, where a woman is having all sorts of trouble getting the judge to believe that her husband has got some questionable sources of income. She has made claims that the guy hasn't reported all of his income, but the judge isn't buying it. The guy definitely sounds suspicious, though. He's into some sort of real estate dealings and owns a hip-hop clothing store. And his estranged wife says he moves in gambling circles and wanted the judge to restrict him from taking the couple's two children to certain places.

Lots of talk, but apparently no proof. The woman was granted 55 percent of the family assets, but the judge issued a joint custody ruling despite the fact that the guy at least looks a little shady. He reportedly secured a $500,000 loan without any registered security. Something tells me that doesn't happen unless you know certain kinds of people, if you catch my drift.

You would think that appearances are everything when it comes to a judge making a custody ruling in a divorce trial. Maybe the guy used some of that half million to buy himself some really talented lawyers.

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Earlier this week, I wrote about a British law firm that conducted a survey about divorce. The point of it was to illustrate that few people were aware of mediation services that can help make the process easier and less expensive.

The other day I ran across another statistic from that same survey that really surprised me. Seventy-six percent of the 2,000 people surveyed said they did not consider the prospect of high legal fees a deterrent to divorce. I guess if you want to split up, you're going to do what you've got to do, legal fees be damned. But my instinct was that more people would be intimidated by the costs.

Again the statistic comes from a law firm that's pushing its services, which include the less-expensive option of mediation. But still it's nice to know the cost isn't holding too many people back. It would be a shame if that were the case.

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We all know that China is no longer the backward nation it once was, and as the country continues to modernize, its divorce rate is skyrocketing. The numbers for 2007 are in, and divorce was up 18.2 percent. Apparently there are a lot more people having affairs. And the demands of work are stressing a lot of marriages to the breaking point. Sounds a lot like us here in the United States, doesn't it?

It's a whole new world for Chinese marriage. Couples are apparently less willing to compromise than they used to be. And let's not forget the impact of a new law that was enacted four years ago. For the faction that thinks divorce is too simple here in the U.S., think about this: For less than $1.50, you can get a divorce in a day.

Wow.

What do you suppose our divorce rate would be if we made a law like that?

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Here's a news flash: Divorce can ruin your credit rating.

We've post numerous entries here at FWW about this topic. But it seems the more we look around the Web, the more stories we find warning divorcing couples that they've got to really be on their toes to maintain their financial well-being. One such story I read the other day came from Dow Jones' MarketWatch and had all of the major points covered pretty well.

You have to separate your joint accounts, both checking/savings and your credit cards. If you don't, one person can really screw the other out of a whole lot of money.

And then you have to figure out what to do with big-ticket possessions, like houses and cars. For many couples, selling these off is the only financially feasible step to take. If one person can't handle the mortgage, both of you end up better off if you sell the place and end up with cash in your pockets. Of course, with the housing market the way it's been the last year or two, that may be easier said than done.

All of this is great, common-sense stuff. The problem — which the piece acknowledges, to its credit — is that most people aren't thinking straight when a divorce happens. The writer suggests planning all of this financial reorganization starting six months to a year before you file for divorce.

Sure, and right after I get done with that, I'll get to work on paying next year's taxes and buying Christmas presents for 2010, too.

The ongoing saga of conservative financier Richard Mellon Scaife's very public divorce battle continues to unfold. Apparently now the billionaire and his estranged wife are arguing about who gets their dog and $1,800 worth of asparagus thongs.

And you thought there were petty arguments in your divorce.

It's easy to figure that insanely wealthy people aren't put through the wringer in a divorce. They've got the means and the "people" to deal with things. Seriously, do you imagine Scaife getting on the phone with his wife to have a discussion about the asparagus thongs, or is the whole issue more his lawyer's doing?

However those sorts of things play themselves out, it must be distracting for a divorce happen in public view. As you can see, the blogosphere has been buzzing with details of Scaife's divorce for going on two years, and so has the mainstream press. We've talked about it here too, including the $725,000 per month he's been paying in alimony.

We'd probably all like to have that kind of money to part with. But it comes with its own set of problems. I'd take an average Jane and Joe divorce — out of the public eye — any day of the week.

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There's one thing about divorce that never ceases to amaze me. There are always legal and financial complications — even when there are official documents drawn up specifically to prevent that. I was reminded of this when I read a recent piece by a financial advice columnist with a suburban Chicago newspaper.

A man wrote in asking what to do about his ex-wife, who had one year to decide whether to sell their house or stay in it,refinance it, and take him off the title. Well, it turns out she's missed a couple of payments and now the mortgage company is coming after him for the cash. As far as the mortgage company is concerned, the guy and his ex-wife both are still on the hook. It makes no difference what the divorce paperwork says. And that's a crucial lesson for anyone who's in a similar situation.

Now, it's true that this guy has the law on his side to the extent that the judge in their divorce case is going to make the woman pay eventually. Or she'll be forced to sell. But in the interim, the best thing this guy can do is pay the mortgage company and then recoup the money from his ex-wife in court. Of course, making those payments is probably easier said than done. And therein lies the problem. You don't want to be stuck in that situation. With his name still on the title, he's not going to be able to get another loan, and those missed payments are going to start to impact his credit rating if he's not careful. Never mind the fact that he's probably got his own rent to worry about — now he's got to find cash to make those mortgage payments too.

Divorce is hard enough when it's just between two people. It's even more complicated when there are children involved. But what happens if you and your soon-to-be ex own a business together?

I saw that question posed in a tax advice column the other day, and the answer provided something valuable, beyond the simple X's and O's of how the assets are shared.

Sure, there was the standard discussion of the tax implications — the issues to consider if you or your ex wants to sell off your share of the business, or if both of you want to sell. But then there's the other possibility: Nobody sells anything and the two of you continue to operate the business together. And that's the part of this that I found most interesting.

No matter how much we talk about collaborative divorce and co-parenting through a divorce, it's easy to assume that two people who split up are so eager to be rid of one another that they're never going to talk again once the divorce is final. But increasingly that's not the case. For every acrimonious divorce, there are plenty of divorced couples who spend holidays together with their kids. And if your business is your child — or one of your children — there's no reason to believe you shouldn't co-parent it as well.

Is it easy? Of course not. But guess what? That's life. Or that's post-divorce life, I should say. None of it is going to be easy. But it's what you've got. You adapt, you learn to work with it and you continue to live your life.

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Don't you love it when rich people argue? Now, I don't mean to be callous. It's painful for anyone to go through a divorce. But there's a woman in England who has a lot of experience with that pain and everything else that comes along with it.

Susan Crossley is now divorcing her fourth millionaire husband. The former model is in court, haggling it out, because she claims husband No. 4 didn't disclose vast amounts of money he held in offshore accounts when the couple drew up their prenuptial agreement.

Oh, yeah, these two definitely had a prenup. Need you ask?

She's pissed at him because of his confessed adultry. He's pissed at her because he says she's a "career divorcee," which I think is hilarious.

It's not like she needs more cash. According to a story in Britain's Telegraph, she's worth £18 million after her previous three divorces. Again, I don't mean to diminish anyone's pain and suffering, because any divorce sucks. And if this guy cheated on her, he's a low-life who doesn't deserve a woman in his life to begin with. But I find these stories highly entertaining, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it bottoms out.

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