I read a lot of news stories and columns about divorce, and I often find myself reading the same things over and over again. Similar stories, similar bits of advice and words of caution. So it really jumps out at me when I find something that offers a fresh perspective, and that was most definitely the case when I saw a column in a Michigan newspaper written by a high school senior who is a child of divorce.

What she had to say should resonate long and hard for any divorced parent, no matter what stage of divorce you're in. She writes about how her parents struggled to compromise as they worked to agree on a visitation schedule. As part of the process, the family was assigned a "friend of the court." Perhaps the most striking thing she wrote is that she never actually met the person who served in that official capacity.

When we talk about mediation here at FWW, it always seems to me like a foregone conclusion that whoever does the mediating would at least meet the children. The fact that it isn't a requirement is appalling. Perhaps there's a reason for it. Maybe the court doesn't want that person's decision-making process to be swayed by a child's undoubtedly emotional reaction. But you know what? I think that comes with the territory.

The writer goes on to say that by following the letter of the law, a parent could be thrown in jail if the visitation schedule isn't adhered to by all parties. And sometimes the visitations don't happen because emotions get in the way. Depending on how bitter and angry and resentful the parents are, the whole thing could easily be turned into a regrettable nightmare. But again, the most important message here is that you have a child of divorce telling you that nobody listened to her — mom, dad, the friend of the court — no one. She grew up feeling like she didn't have a role or a choice in what was happening to her family. She referred to herself as a prisoner of war.

The thing about limits is that they tend to inspire creativity. Take a Romanian attorney, for example.

Romania's laws prohibit lawyers from advertising. Now, for the moment, let's set aside the discussion about how this is a great idea and we should do it here too. The guy needed a way to get the word out about his services. He apparently handles divorce cases, so he had a bunch of mini-sized business cards printed up and had them stuck onto the outside of condom wrappers. And the condoms were sitting in a bowl on the front desk at a hotel.

For another moment, let's set aside the discussion of condoms being available in plain sight in hotel lobbies, like maps of local attractions, although we'd support this idea too!

Anyway, the idea is that people come to the hotel to have illicit affairs, so it's the perfect place to make sure they know legal help is available once they're found out. If only he was allowed to advertise, I could see the TV commercial now: "If you're having an affair, you need a condom ... and a lawyer!"

All it takes is a little ingenuity. Lawyers ... these are smart people!

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I'm not certain if I reached the proverbial "end of the Internet" the other day, but I read an idiotic blog posting by a writer from London's The Business magazine. If it wasn't the end, here's hoping it was damn close, or else the Web has become a very dumb place.

He says the reason divorce rates are rising is because women are using the pill and it's screwing up our sense of smell.

Yeah, see, before I even try to explain it, you're already tuning out. The reasoning is that we pick prospective mates based on a sub-conscious sense of smell that attracts us to them. That much I can deal with. I know all about pheromones. But he says since the pill mimics pregnancy, it alters that whole chemical balance and leads us to be attracted to the wrong guys.

Not much scientific reasoning behind this one. Just a blogger needing to fill his space for the day, I think. And that means the Internet is turning out just like TV.

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So here's a question for those of you who've been through a divorce: How did things go the first time you got intimate with some else?

I'm sure we can all have a long conversation about that topic. I saw a letter to a sex columnist that raised this issue, and it was interesting to me because it came from the male perspective. The writer was a 35-year-old divorced "bloke" (it was in a British publication) who said his girlfriend left him because he couldn't keep an erection. For the moment, we'll look past the fact that this must not have been much of a relationship if that was really the reason she left him. The guy is wondering if the remaining emotional weight of his divorce is somehow making it tough on him in bed.

And that's something a lot of divorced people probably face. It's not uncommon at all. A lot of sexual dysfunctions, especially in younger people like this guy, have more to do with the mind than they do with the body. If something like this happens and it's a consistent problem, it's probably worth taking to a therapist who specializes in sexual matters. It goes without saying that making such an appointment for yourself is a daunting step, especially if you're doing it alone. But a divorce can impact your mind in so many ways that you're not consciously aware of. A little help with a problem like this isn't too much for anyone to ask.

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It seems Japanese businessmen are getting serious about saving their marriages. CNN did an entertaining report on an organization called the National Chauvinistic Husbands Association, which, despite the way that name sounds, pushes men to be better husbands. There's probably a little something lost in translation with that name, but what they advocate seems pretty clear. Basically, they tell the guys to be more attentive and practice the "three golden rules of love." You're dying to know, so here they are:

• Say thank you without hesitation.
• Say I'm sorry without fear.
• Say I love you without embarrassment.

What's interesting is that there may be one particular factor motivating all of this good husbanding: pension money. Japan enacted a law this year that entitles a woman to claim half of her husband's pension in a divorce.

Let the courtesy and chivalry begin!

The number of divorce cases has risen in Japan, but it's still nowhere even close to what we have here in the U.S. I'd like to think that guys don't need a point-by-point lesson plan in what amounts to basic sensitivity. But that's wishful thinking, isn't it? We all know they do. And there are probably a lot of long-held cultural standards in Japan that keep the guys from having a sense of what to do. So we should all give a big thumb's up to the Chauvinistic Husbands Association!

Put that on the top of the list of things I never thought I'd hear myself say.

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Here's what you want from the judge in your divorce case: marital counseling. Sounds ridiculous, but apparently the idea is catching on in India, and it's sort of a different twist on mediation, which we've written about here before.

Still, it seems rather odd. Judges are essentially telling quarreling couples to go on dates — see a movie, go have dinner, spend some time together. And believe it or not, according to a report citing court statistics, about 60 percent of couples called off their plans to get separated after taking such advice from judges. It sounds like India's system has a judge sit in on mediation proceedings, and it's at that point in the process that this "go on a date" advice is being doled out.

It sounds crazy, because by the time you're sitting in a mediation session, it seems like you would be well past the point of saving your marriage. But that's the magic of mediation. It's a less adversarial process, and it can work in lots of ways that the traditional lawyer-vs.-lawyer model can't.

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Here's an interesting trend that's sweeping through Germany, and I wonder if this is going to start happening here in the United States: People are opting to forgo wedding rings for second marriages.

Apparently, the divorce rate in Germany is so high (a little more than 50 percent, according to a story I read) that a lot of couples are deciding not to bother with rings. I'm curious whether the guys are still handing out engagement rings, though the story doesn't say. But the trend is starting to have an impact on the jewelry industry in Germany. Only 60 percent of men and 74 percent of women say they wear a wedding band.

Germany sounds like a place that's learning how to live with divorce as a significant part of the culture. Until recently, unmarried couples couldn't claim child tax credits. Now they can. Good to hear that some places in the world realize that for many people, divorce is just a part of life.

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Just in time for the holidays, it's another lesson on post-divorce dating. These tips come courtesy of a Chicago relationship counselor who is a contributor to NBC's Today Show. And they come with the usual set of caveats.

If you have children, you have to be careful about dating after your divorce. And if you've been out of the game for a while, you need to be a little cautious and ease yourself back into it. But she offers up many common-sense ideas that you should keep in mind once you make that decision to "get back out there."

Rediscover yourself: You have to get back in touch with who you are and what makes you tick. What are you interested in now? May not be the same things as when you were married or before.

It's OK to date Mr. Right Now: I'm not sure I totally agree with this one, but I see what she's getting at. The idea is that even if a guy doesn't give you butterflies — even if you just enjoy his company and nothing else — go ahead and spend some time with him. Get out of the house and get some dating practice.

Don't turn a date into a bitch session: Complaining about your ex is bad form. If you start spending real quality time with someone, you'll know when the time is right to go into depth about your past.

Introducing your kids: There's no hard and fast rule here. You don't want to do it too soon. You don't want your kids to get attached to someone who won't be in your life long-term. You don't want your kids to get angry or hurt. It's a minefield. Easy does it and a little at a time seem to be the best rules of thumb.

Taking it to the next level: When do you sleep with someone? She gave a good piece of advice here: Only have sex that is emotionally healthy. And it goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) she means emotionally healthy in the broader sense. It's always emotionally healthy in the moment.

When we last heard from pro golf great Greg Norman, he was squabbling with his ex-wife over their multimillions while he was running around with former tennis star Chris Evert, who also broke up with her husband.

Well, it seems Norman and Evert are more than just a rebound fling for one another. Word came yesterday that wedding bells are going to be ringing soon. The sports power couple has gotten engaged.

Considering the legal wrangling he's been through with his ex-wife, you have to figure Norman is going to have his attorney draw up the mother of all prenups. Color me cynical, but do these celebrity couples ever really survive?

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According to these statistics, nearly 40 percent of Japanese married couples speak to each other less than 30 minutes a day. Slightly less disturbing, nearly half the women surveyed said they had contemplated divorce at some point.

Now, the numbers were collected by an insurance company. I'm not sure what motivation they'd have in showing that marriages are struggling. But the survey also found that the chief complaints women had about their husbands was that they smoked and drank too much. Maybe it's part of some healthy living initiative.

But let's not get bogged down in analyzing the numbers. I think the bottom line here is really very simple: A lot of married couples don't spent a heck of a lot of time talking to each other. I wonder what the results would be if you asked American couples how much time they spend every day talking to each other. Come to think of it, I take that back. I'm not sure I really want to know.