We'd all like to think that divorces can be accomplished without ugliness and outright nastiness, but we all know it doesn't happen that way much of the time. And a woman in Des Moines is finding that out the hard way.

The woman claims that her husband broke into a safe — presumably in their house — and took a $3,000 cashier's check that she intended to use to pay her lawyer. She reported the incident to police, according to a report in the Des Moines Register. But as some reader comments on the Register's Web site indicate, she may not have any legal recourse. Since they're not divorced yet, it may be tough for her to lay claim to that money as "hers."

And that underscores the importance of something we talk about here at FWW all the time: separating your finances as soon as you can once a divorce gets started. Now, it's true that she might very well have done that. And depending on who the cashier's check was made out to, the guy may not be able to do anything with it anyway.

But in any case, if you're worried your ex is going to do something to screw you, it's crucial to take precautions. You'd think putting the check in a safe would be good enough. But apparently not. Learn from this woman's tough luck and don't let something like this happen to you.

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Earlier this week, I wrote about a British law firm that conducted a survey about divorce. The point of it was to illustrate that few people were aware of mediation services that can help make the process easier and less expensive.

The other day I ran across another statistic from that same survey that really surprised me. Seventy-six percent of the 2,000 people surveyed said they did not consider the prospect of high legal fees a deterrent to divorce. I guess if you want to split up, you're going to do what you've got to do, legal fees be damned. But my instinct was that more people would be intimidated by the costs.

Again the statistic comes from a law firm that's pushing its services, which include the less-expensive option of mediation. But still it's nice to know the cost isn't holding too many people back. It would be a shame if that were the case.

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We all know that China is no longer the backward nation it once was, and as the country continues to modernize, its divorce rate is skyrocketing. The numbers for 2007 are in, and divorce was up 18.2 percent. Apparently there are a lot more people having affairs. And the demands of work are stressing a lot of marriages to the breaking point. Sounds a lot like us here in the United States, doesn't it?

It's a whole new world for Chinese marriage. Couples are apparently less willing to compromise than they used to be. And let's not forget the impact of a new law that was enacted four years ago. For the faction that thinks divorce is too simple here in the U.S., think about this: For less than $1.50, you can get a divorce in a day.

Wow.

What do you suppose our divorce rate would be if we made a law like that?

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Here's a news flash: Divorce can ruin your credit rating.

We've post numerous entries here at FWW about this topic. But it seems the more we look around the Web, the more stories we find warning divorcing couples that they've got to really be on their toes to maintain their financial well-being. One such story I read the other day came from Dow Jones' MarketWatch and had all of the major points covered pretty well.

You have to separate your joint accounts, both checking/savings and your credit cards. If you don't, one person can really screw the other out of a whole lot of money.

And then you have to figure out what to do with big-ticket possessions, like houses and cars. For many couples, selling these off is the only financially feasible step to take. If one person can't handle the mortgage, both of you end up better off if you sell the place and end up with cash in your pockets. Of course, with the housing market the way it's been the last year or two, that may be easier said than done.

All of this is great, common-sense stuff. The problem — which the piece acknowledges, to its credit — is that most people aren't thinking straight when a divorce happens. The writer suggests planning all of this financial reorganization starting six months to a year before you file for divorce.

Sure, and right after I get done with that, I'll get to work on paying next year's taxes and buying Christmas presents for 2010, too.

Larry Page, one of the co-creators of Google, is getting married this weekend. Or so it's been rumored. Details have been running around on the Web despite the apparent best efforts of those involved to keep everything on the downlow.

But the marriage of someone so wealthy — Page is reportedly worth nearly $20 billion — brings to mind what happens when someone so wealthy gets divorced. The rich among us probably don't split up any more or less frequently than anyone else. But it always catches your attention when it happens because of the money involved. And because those big-money breakups are usually accompanied by details of a prenuptial agreement that come creeping out as the marriage goes belly-up.

Ah, the prenup. Nothing says love like a document full of legal jargon that hedges on the success of a marriage. Good luck, Larry. We're sure you've got a good lawyer lined up, just in case the marriage doesn't work out like the whole Web thing did.

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A woman has filed for divorce from her husband after just two months. Why, you ask? Well, it seems hubby hasn't bathed since the wedding day. Now wait until you hear what he told her.

He said he can't bathe because he's allergic to water.
Let that sink in for a moment. And then brace yourself, because it gets worse.

The couple met on a plane and the guy proposed to her a week later. Really, that should tell you all you need to know. And just in case you're wondering, the guy's doctor says he really does have a skin condition, but it's got nothing to do with water. I'm guessing it has something to do with going two months without a shower.

Believe it or not, it still gets worse.

The guy didn't want to grant the divorce, so the only way she could get free of the marriage was to submit to an Islamic arrangement under which she renounced her financial rights. Wow, is that scary or what? Apparently, this sort of thing has been happening increasingly in Egypt. It's truly sad that this is the only way that women in some parts of the world can get away from bad marriages.

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Thumbs up to Gannett News Service for a nice, long, comprehensive point-by-point breakdown of all the financial matters you need to think about when you go through a divorce.

With the number of divorces there are in the United States, every media outlet in the country could do this story once a month and it still probably wouldn't be enough. There are so many things to remember, and considering it's the worst time in your life, you're bound to overlook some of them.

Long story short, getting divorced is like getting ready to buy a house. Just make off that you're about to go through a loan application. Take stock of all your assets. One tip that jumped out at me was to think about assets that might not typically be on the top of your head, like frequent flyer miles and store reward club memberships. These things may seem insignificant in the grand scheme, but they should be considered and divided up nonetheless.

Another thing lots of people forget is the need to update wills and change beneficiary information. This one is particularly easy to overlook because for at a lot of us, that involves an appointment with a lawyer or financial advisor — and that's just one more thing you have to make time for.

One expert Gannett talked to says one of the key mistakes people make is trying to hold on to their house at all costs. You may get the house, but that means you also get the mortgage and property taxes and upkeep of the house all to yourself. Can you afford that? If you're staying in the house for the benefit of your kids, so they won't have to move and change schools, you should be entitled to more spousal support so you can afford everything you need.

There's lots more in this article — it's a must-read if you're going through a divorce.

Now, on the surface, that may seem obvious. Everyone knows a big part of going through a divorce is managing your finances. But if you think about it a little more deeply, it means that a lot of those women weren't paying all that much attention to their financial well-being prior to their divorces. And that's no good.

Experts quoted in a Financial Post story about the TD Waterhouse poll recommend more women taking an active role in money matters, regardless of their marital status. And further, they emphasize the importance of formulating a backup plan. Even if you like your present circumstances, you never know what's around the bend. Everyone needs a Plan B.

Perhaps it's something that comes with age, because the poll found that older women generally do have backup plans. But this is something that you should think about if you're in your 20s or 30s, regardless of where you are in your life.

Even if it's just putting some money into a 401k, or a CD if you don't want to tie up your money long-term, anything you can do to save now is in your best interest. If you've been through a divorce, you know that already.

You’ll find no shortage of people who say that it’s too easy to get a divorce here in the U.S. And it’s probably true that there are couples who are quick to call it quits without giving it a whole lot of thought. The alternative to easy access to divorce, however, is frightening. I’m not sure I realized just how frightening until I read a news report about the state of divorce in Ireland.

As we’ve written here before, divorce has only been legal in Ireland for 10 years. To say they’re still getting the hang of it would be a massive understatement. The biggest problem is that the courts are overburdened with divorce cases — so much so that many couples don’t get proper hearings. Court dates can be delayed for months, even in cases that involve the welfare of children. It’s apparently common for there to be no transcripts of proceedings, and many couples don’t get written documentation of judges’ decisions.

It gets worse. Irish law requires couples to be separated for four years before a divorce can be finalized. Ireland, of course, is predominantly Catholic, and it’s obvious the nation’s religious base is doing everything it can to keep couples from breaking up. But when the process is so difficult it sends the message that the nation would rather have you be married and miserable than create a civilized, compassionate system that will assist you in navigating one of the most difficult periods of your life. And that stinks.

You’ve got a wonderfully picturesque landscape, Ireland. But your divorce system makes you look like a landfill.

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I saw a news release on a British Web site that I found encouraging, and it also answered a question I posed here the other day. It seems the trend of collaborative divorce, which has already gained some traction here in the U.S. and in Canada, is becoming more prevalent in England.

Earlier in the week, I wrote about a woman who is campaigning for tighter regulations on divorce lawyers in England to keep them from overcharging clients. And I wondered if part of the way to solve this problem would be for fewer people to use the traditional lawyer vs. lawyer approach. There hasn’t been much collaborative divorce in England, according to the release I read. So it’ll be interesting to see how this option changes the process there.

The idea has gotten some attention because there’s been so much coverage in England and around the world of the ugly divorce involving Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. Indeed, the difficulty and cost of the McCartney-Mills case may be the perfect advertisement for collaborative divorce, which involves negotiations with both sides and aims to keep couples out of court. Of course, if Britain’s divorce attorneys are entrenched in their ways and enjoy nickel and diming their clients, it may be a while before there’s any movement. Lawyers have to be open to providing the service and then have to make clients aware of the option for anything to change.

In the words of novelist Gigi Levangie Grazer “acrimonious divorces are so 1990s.” Here’s hoping more people can ways to split up without the adversarial process.

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