The more time I spend reading stories and news items about divorce, the more amazed I get at the lengths some people will go to in an effort to spin circumstances in their favor.

We've written in the past about whether there's a time of year when divorces are most likely to happen. I've heard back-to-school time is big, because people wait until the summer is over and the kids are back in school. Everyone knows that post-holiday time is big, because everyone just wants to get past the holidays and then start the arduous task of ending a marriage. And the other day I saw a press release talking about how there's this Valentine's Effect. Apparently the idea is that people get so stressed out from all the talk and marketing nonsense that goes along with Valentine's day that instead of coming closer together with a loved one, they break up.

Wow, this is all such complete BS.

To the credit of LegalMatch, the legal service that issued the press release I came across, they acknowledge that the timing of all these so-called Valentine's Effect divorces may just be the carryover of marriages that started to crack right after the holidays. But anyone who tries to connect divorce with a certain time of year — especially a group of lawyers looking to drum up business — is just full of it.

I will say this, though: Too much talk about Valentine's Day is enough to make you sick. Whether it makes you get divorced — that's a much tougher sell.

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A couple of marriage mediators in Holland are getting ready to hold that country's first divorce fair.

We've seen these events in other countries as well. Mediation, not surprisingly, is the big thrust of this event. The organizers say that many of Holland's 60,000 annual divorces could be avoided through mediation.

There's also a survey circulating on behalf of the event that found that 90 percent of women say a good relationship is the most important thing in their lives. Meanwhile, 88 percent said their lives are too stressful, and very few women said money (12 percent) or career (8 percent) are priorities when it comes to determining happiness.

Bearing all those things in mind appears to set the stage for marriage mediators to have a successful business in Holland. It's not the material things that seem to matter to women there, it's having a good relationship. And if that's your goal, as opposed to wealth or career advancement, it seems like there's a good chance that mediation would be helpful in restoring damaged relationships.

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We'd all like to think that divorces can be accomplished without ugliness and outright nastiness, but we all know it doesn't happen that way much of the time. And a woman in Des Moines is finding that out the hard way.

The woman claims that her husband broke into a safe — presumably in their house — and took a $3,000 cashier's check that she intended to use to pay her lawyer. She reported the incident to police, according to a report in the Des Moines Register. But as some reader comments on the Register's Web site indicate, she may not have any legal recourse. Since they're not divorced yet, it may be tough for her to lay claim to that money as "hers."

And that underscores the importance of something we talk about here at FWW all the time: separating your finances as soon as you can once a divorce gets started. Now, it's true that she might very well have done that. And depending on who the cashier's check was made out to, the guy may not be able to do anything with it anyway.

But in any case, if you're worried your ex is going to do something to screw you, it's crucial to take precautions. You'd think putting the check in a safe would be good enough. But apparently not. Learn from this woman's tough luck and don't let something like this happen to you.

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Just when you thought you had heard every bizarre divorce story out there comes this one out of Vancouver. A Winnipeg man got permission from a judge to run a radio commercial in search of his wife, so he can divorce her.

Sounds ridiculous, but it's a last resort in a strange situation. The couple was married in December 1989 and separated in October 1990. And the guy hasn't seen his estranged wife since. He wants to remarry now, but he can't find his wife in order to get their divorce finalized.

Do you get the feeling that this story is headed toward an ugly ending? Would it surprise you if it came out that this guy has something to do with the fact that his ex is nowhere to be found? People don't just disappear into the ether for 17 years. It also makes you wonder about the whole idea of requiring a certain amount of time for a divorce to be finalized. If a couple agrees that the marriage is over, why drag it out any longer than it has to be? Of course, the flip side is, who lets their marriage hang in post-separation limbo for this long? After a couple years, don't you think you'd make sure the plug got pulled?

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Earlier this week, I wrote about a British law firm that conducted a survey about divorce. The point of it was to illustrate that few people were aware of mediation services that can help make the process easier and less expensive.

The other day I ran across another statistic from that same survey that really surprised me. Seventy-six percent of the 2,000 people surveyed said they did not consider the prospect of high legal fees a deterrent to divorce. I guess if you want to split up, you're going to do what you've got to do, legal fees be damned. But my instinct was that more people would be intimidated by the costs.

Again the statistic comes from a law firm that's pushing its services, which include the less-expensive option of mediation. But still it's nice to know the cost isn't holding too many people back. It would be a shame if that were the case.

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A woman who works in the Miami-Dade County Clerk of the Courts office has been charged with 52 felony counts after using her position to expedite divorces for people who didn't have attorneys.

She charged couples $670. Of that amount, $364 was used to pay the required fees. And she pocketed the rest of it.

As one official said in a story about this case, the people who work in the courthouse need to operate with the utmost integrity. And this woman is going to be appropriately punished for her dishonesty.

But I think this situation underscores what a burden the legal process involved in divorce can be. I'm not sure I blame any of the couples involved in this situation for wanting to take the quick and easy way out, or for taking advantage of an opportunity that was presented to them.

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The thing about limits is that they tend to inspire creativity. Take a Romanian attorney, for example.

Romania's laws prohibit lawyers from advertising. Now, for the moment, let's set aside the discussion about how this is a great idea and we should do it here too. The guy needed a way to get the word out about his services. He apparently handles divorce cases, so he had a bunch of mini-sized business cards printed up and had them stuck onto the outside of condom wrappers. And the condoms were sitting in a bowl on the front desk at a hotel.

For another moment, let's set aside the discussion of condoms being available in plain sight in hotel lobbies, like maps of local attractions, although we'd support this idea too!

Anyway, the idea is that people come to the hotel to have illicit affairs, so it's the perfect place to make sure they know legal help is available once they're found out. If only he was allowed to advertise, I could see the TV commercial now: "If you're having an affair, you need a condom ... and a lawyer!"

All it takes is a little ingenuity. Lawyers ... these are smart people!

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Here's a great story for the digital age: Divorce by phone — or by text message, to be perfectly accurate.

A woman in Egypt is trying to determine whether a text message she received from her husband telling her their marriage was over can be legally binding. Seriously, she may have a case.

Apparently Islamic law says that a man may unilaterally end a marriage by clearly stating to his wife three times that he wants a divorce. (Hey, you have to love that Islam — it may subjugate women, but at least they know how to get a divorce done. We don't need no stinkin' lawyers, just say it three times and "Poof" it's all over!) Anyway, the woman says she has three text messages where her husband told her it's over, and now she's asking a court to decide whether those texts count or not.

This comes on the heels of the man in Saudi Arabia who announced he was leaving his wife over the intercom at a grocery store. Truthfully, I'm not sure this would count. Surely he'd need to make similar announcements at Target and Best Buy as well in order to make it stick.

In all seriousness, I think this story raises some interesting questions about communication in the digital age. I think we all have a tendency to fee like e-mail and text messaging are a less-formal form of communication than a conversation or a typewritten letter. And so we may say things that we really don't mean or wouldn't say if we were face to face with someone. I have to think that even in a male-dominated Islamic culture, three texts equals a divorce. Whether it does or not, it should force everyone to take all forms of electronic communication more seriously.

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Sometimes you read a story about a family in crisis and it gives you more than a little perspective. Everyone has pain and suffering and frustration during a divorce. But there's a family in England that is living a nightmare.

Angela Cannings was in custody for four years for allegedly murdering two infant sons. She was eventually freed four years ago when a court determined that SIDS was to blame for the deaths. As if that's not bad enough, she also lost another child to SIDS. Upon being released from jail, it seems Cannings and her husband tried to start rebuilding their life. But last year, she left for a "fresh start." The two have shared custody of their only surviving child, but now Cannings is seeking a divorce and full custody of the child.

I barely know where to begin talking about this story. There is no answer. This family has been ripped apart on multiple levels. They have lost three children. Their surviving daughter spent four years without a mother. And now, on top of everything else, they're having to navigate a divorce. I guess in a strange, cruel way the divorce is the least of their concerns after everything that's happened. But I don't mean to be callous about it. This is a family that's been through unspeakable pain. Here's hoping the three of them — mother, father and daughter — can find some help and some peace.

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It's good to get a little common-sense advice during a crazy time. As we've written before, a lot of marriages break up during this time of year. And a piece I read in the Washington Post did a nice job of summing up a few things to think about if it happens to you. The writer talked to five divorce experts (three men, two women, four of them divorced) and offered up a few tips that I thought were worthwhile.

Get counseling. Don't rush into a lawyer's office or be in a hurry to file paperwork. First go talk to someone. Ideally, you do this as a couple, but I think it would be valuable to do on your own if you feel like your marriage is falling apart and you need to talk it out.

Be careful about the tone. This one is hard. If you're initiating a conversation to end your marriage, there's no easy way to do it. Maybe the holiday season isn't the best time to have that talk. But when you do, you need to try to be as calm as possible. Sure, you may end up shouting at each other. But eventually, you're going to need to sit and have a real conversation about it.

Give each other time. This one is important if you're the one who initiates. You've already made your decision, but he hasn't. And even if he realizes you're right, he will probably still need time to digest it.

Stay out of court. Wow, glad to see someone besides me pushing this one. Mediation is the way to go. Dig in with lawyers and you're going to cost yourself time and money that you'll never get back.