The more time I spend reading stories and news items about divorce, the more amazed I get at the lengths some people will go to in an effort to spin circumstances in their favor.

We've written in the past about whether there's a time of year when divorces are most likely to happen. I've heard back-to-school time is big, because people wait until the summer is over and the kids are back in school. Everyone knows that post-holiday time is big, because everyone just wants to get past the holidays and then start the arduous task of ending a marriage. And the other day I saw a press release talking about how there's this Valentine's Effect. Apparently the idea is that people get so stressed out from all the talk and marketing nonsense that goes along with Valentine's day that instead of coming closer together with a loved one, they break up.

Wow, this is all such complete BS.

To the credit of LegalMatch, the legal service that issued the press release I came across, they acknowledge that the timing of all these so-called Valentine's Effect divorces may just be the carryover of marriages that started to crack right after the holidays. But anyone who tries to connect divorce with a certain time of year — especially a group of lawyers looking to drum up business — is just full of it.

I will say this, though: Too much talk about Valentine's Day is enough to make you sick. Whether it makes you get divorced — that's a much tougher sell.

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A couple of marriage mediators in Holland are getting ready to hold that country's first divorce fair.

We've seen these events in other countries as well. Mediation, not surprisingly, is the big thrust of this event. The organizers say that many of Holland's 60,000 annual divorces could be avoided through mediation.

There's also a survey circulating on behalf of the event that found that 90 percent of women say a good relationship is the most important thing in their lives. Meanwhile, 88 percent said their lives are too stressful, and very few women said money (12 percent) or career (8 percent) are priorities when it comes to determining happiness.

Bearing all those things in mind appears to set the stage for marriage mediators to have a successful business in Holland. It's not the material things that seem to matter to women there, it's having a good relationship. And if that's your goal, as opposed to wealth or career advancement, it seems like there's a good chance that mediation would be helpful in restoring damaged relationships.

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We'd all like to think that divorces can be accomplished without ugliness and outright nastiness, but we all know it doesn't happen that way much of the time. And a woman in Des Moines is finding that out the hard way.

The woman claims that her husband broke into a safe — presumably in their house — and took a $3,000 cashier's check that she intended to use to pay her lawyer. She reported the incident to police, according to a report in the Des Moines Register. But as some reader comments on the Register's Web site indicate, she may not have any legal recourse. Since they're not divorced yet, it may be tough for her to lay claim to that money as "hers."

And that underscores the importance of something we talk about here at FWW all the time: separating your finances as soon as you can once a divorce gets started. Now, it's true that she might very well have done that. And depending on who the cashier's check was made out to, the guy may not be able to do anything with it anyway.

But in any case, if you're worried your ex is going to do something to screw you, it's crucial to take precautions. You'd think putting the check in a safe would be good enough. But apparently not. Learn from this woman's tough luck and don't let something like this happen to you.

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Just when you thought you had heard every bizarre divorce story out there comes this one out of Vancouver. A Winnipeg man got permission from a judge to run a radio commercial in search of his wife, so he can divorce her.

Sounds ridiculous, but it's a last resort in a strange situation. The couple was married in December 1989 and separated in October 1990. And the guy hasn't seen his estranged wife since. He wants to remarry now, but he can't find his wife in order to get their divorce finalized.

Do you get the feeling that this story is headed toward an ugly ending? Would it surprise you if it came out that this guy has something to do with the fact that his ex is nowhere to be found? People don't just disappear into the ether for 17 years. It also makes you wonder about the whole idea of requiring a certain amount of time for a divorce to be finalized. If a couple agrees that the marriage is over, why drag it out any longer than it has to be? Of course, the flip side is, who lets their marriage hang in post-separation limbo for this long? After a couple years, don't you think you'd make sure the plug got pulled?

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I read a very thought-provoking piece the other day by a columnist from a newspaper in Northern Ireland. She's divorced and has since remarried. And while she's glad her country's divorce laws have been relaxed over the years, she clearly doesn't relish having gone down that road. And she warns anyone considering or going through a divorce not to take it lightly.

That's a point worth making. On one hand, several of us here at FWW, including me, have been harshly critical of nations and cultures where divorce is made difficult, or governed by archane laws, or where the process is tilted in the man's favor. We think it should be your right if it's what you feel is right for you. But for every person who decides to divorce after careful thought and hard work to save the marriage, there are others who seemingly do it on a whim.

The writer seems content with the way her life has ended up, but it sounds like she has regrets about the road she's traveled to get there. And for a lot of us, that may the best we can hope for after a divorce.

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Earlier this week, I wrote about a British law firm that conducted a survey about divorce. The point of it was to illustrate that few people were aware of mediation services that can help make the process easier and less expensive.

The other day I ran across another statistic from that same survey that really surprised me. Seventy-six percent of the 2,000 people surveyed said they did not consider the prospect of high legal fees a deterrent to divorce. I guess if you want to split up, you're going to do what you've got to do, legal fees be damned. But my instinct was that more people would be intimidated by the costs.

Again the statistic comes from a law firm that's pushing its services, which include the less-expensive option of mediation. But still it's nice to know the cost isn't holding too many people back. It would be a shame if that were the case.

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We all know that China is no longer the backward nation it once was, and as the country continues to modernize, its divorce rate is skyrocketing. The numbers for 2007 are in, and divorce was up 18.2 percent. Apparently there are a lot more people having affairs. And the demands of work are stressing a lot of marriages to the breaking point. Sounds a lot like us here in the United States, doesn't it?

It's a whole new world for Chinese marriage. Couples are apparently less willing to compromise than they used to be. And let's not forget the impact of a new law that was enacted four years ago. For the faction that thinks divorce is too simple here in the U.S., think about this: For less than $1.50, you can get a divorce in a day.

Wow.

What do you suppose our divorce rate would be if we made a law like that?

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Here's a news flash: Divorce can ruin your credit rating.

We've post numerous entries here at FWW about this topic. But it seems the more we look around the Web, the more stories we find warning divorcing couples that they've got to really be on their toes to maintain their financial well-being. One such story I read the other day came from Dow Jones' MarketWatch and had all of the major points covered pretty well.

You have to separate your joint accounts, both checking/savings and your credit cards. If you don't, one person can really screw the other out of a whole lot of money.

And then you have to figure out what to do with big-ticket possessions, like houses and cars. For many couples, selling these off is the only financially feasible step to take. If one person can't handle the mortgage, both of you end up better off if you sell the place and end up with cash in your pockets. Of course, with the housing market the way it's been the last year or two, that may be easier said than done.

All of this is great, common-sense stuff. The problem — which the piece acknowledges, to its credit — is that most people aren't thinking straight when a divorce happens. The writer suggests planning all of this financial reorganization starting six months to a year before you file for divorce.

Sure, and right after I get done with that, I'll get to work on paying next year's taxes and buying Christmas presents for 2010, too.

If you thought marriage was bad here, you should see what's going on in apparently not-so-merry-old England.

According to a survey conducted by a group of lawyers, 59 percent of British wives would divorce immediately if they knew they would not have to worry about their post-divorce financial security. Many — 37 percent — said they were staying in their marriages for the sake of their children, 12 percent said they were in loveless marriages, and 35 percent said they believed their marriages would end up that way.

Now, I'm not sure what to make of these numbers, considering the source. Apparently the law firm that conducted this survey did so after the rash of new divorce cases earlier this month. That, of course, is an annual trend, as many couples wait until the holidays are over before actually going forward with their plans to split up. But my healthy skepticism of the legal profession aside, I don't doubt that these numbers are reflective of the poor state of marriages.

The statistics confirm what many of us who have been through divorce know — money matters are a big deal when you're splitting up. And no doubt there are women and men alike who stay put because they're concerned about not being able to make ends meet on their own.

But perhaps the most startling statistic was that 60 percent were not aware of mediation options that can make the process easier to navigate and cost less. On one hand, you can see the law firm trying to sell its services with that number. But again, it's probably accurate. People get intimidated by the costs and the idea of dealing with the legal system, so they don't pursue a divorce, even if it's what they want to do.

A woman who works in the Miami-Dade County Clerk of the Courts office has been charged with 52 felony counts after using her position to expedite divorces for people who didn't have attorneys.

She charged couples $670. Of that amount, $364 was used to pay the required fees. And she pocketed the rest of it.

As one official said in a story about this case, the people who work in the courthouse need to operate with the utmost integrity. And this woman is going to be appropriately punished for her dishonesty.

But I think this situation underscores what a burden the legal process involved in divorce can be. I'm not sure I blame any of the couples involved in this situation for wanting to take the quick and easy way out, or for taking advantage of an opportunity that was presented to them.

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