Frankly, I believe the most pressing issue facing divorced and separated women is the financial pressure encountered when the tie is severed. Many will have already lived with financial pressure for years because of a spouse's lack of financial order. By the time that divorce is the only remedy, the finances are already wrecked, and, going it alone rarely makes things easier. As a financial advisor to thousands, I've observed that most divorces involve an element of "financial disorder" as a significant contributor to the failed relationship. When choosing your next partner, don't just choose someone with a fat bank account, select a partner who is personally committed to financial security and long term planning. Before you agree to marry again, show him a copy of your credit bureau and make him show you his. If he's flush with debt, think carefully before saying yes. If he has significant and long term delinquency, he's failed to make good on his promises to others. Unless this was caused by fraud or by a former out of control spouse, it is a signal that his financial house is in disarray and that he's not trustworthy, so be smart - you might have to consider walking away.
I'm sorry, but I think it is way too hard to pick one thing that would make someone marry again. And, I really hope that there are not women out there who truly regard a bank account as the most popular reason.
Ladies, we sell ourselves out too much. When are we going to stand on our own two feet, take responsibility for our own finances, and really, truly align our spending and financial goals with our values.
I am no money saint, as I have some credit card debt from the divorce and from a few months of shopping therapy. But in the mean time, I have continued a deep personal growth path that has opened me up to amazing possibilities, in which my perception of money and its role in my life is dramatically changing.
I have started my own business that is starting off well, I have a plan to pay of my student loan ($17,500), my car loan ($25,000), and my personal credit card debt ($10,000) in one year! I am talking about a total of $52,000. Sounds like a lot? Well, it is! But I am just wasting time if I cry that it is too hard, or that it is my ex-husband's fault, or that I will never make enough money.
It is time to wake up, ladies. No one is going to rescue you! One of my primary goals before I commit to someone again is that I am not only going to be debt free other than my mortgage, but that I have learned along the way to value my money for the experiences and freedom is can provide, not the material things and image. It is a work in progress, but slowly I am emerging into the type of woman I wanted to be before I was even married and that I now have the power to be now that I am divorce.
I think any divorced woman would find a lot of help with changing their perception (and their spending) of money by reading the book "Money & Happiness." It does not equate happiness as the result of having money. Rather, it discusses the true reasons why you spend like you do and to shift the role money plays in your life so that you can pursue your dreams knowing that your finances are in alignment with them. Also, watch Suzie Orman's PBS special "Women and Money," as this will also change your life!
Good luck to all of you. I know finances are scary, but we have just as much intelligence, guts, and perserverence as men to prosper financially. And, if done right, I know that we can have a lot more fun doing it and create more change in the world along the way.
P.S. Check out www.ladieswholaunch.com. It is what inspired me to start my own business and "re-launch" my life!
I "sold myself" on love, looks, intelligence etc before and it's not working out. Money will definitely help in many regards ~ it's as worthy a qualification as any. And marriage isn't just about sex/love etc - it's a life long financial commitment too.
No, 2nd marriage will be to someone who first, has the bank account and second, hopefully all the rest too.
Delicious
Digg
Reddit
Google
Yahoo
Technorati
What Others Have Shared ()
wow!
who would've thought :)
?
I'm shocked too!
I'm not surprised...
Frankly, I believe the most pressing issue facing divorced and separated women is the financial pressure encountered when the tie is severed. Many will have already lived with financial pressure for years because of a spouse's lack of financial order. By the time that divorce is the only remedy, the finances are already wrecked, and, going it alone rarely makes things easier. As a financial advisor to thousands, I've observed that most divorces involve an element of "financial disorder" as a significant contributor to the failed relationship. When choosing your next partner, don't just choose someone with a fat bank account, select a partner who is personally committed to financial security and long term planning. Before you agree to marry again, show him a copy of your credit bureau and make him show you his. If he's flush with debt, think carefully before saying yes. If he has significant and long term delinquency, he's failed to make good on his promises to others. Unless this was caused by fraud or by a former out of control spouse, it is a signal that his financial house is in disarray and that he's not trustworthy, so be smart - you might have to consider walking away.
Please tell me it is not true!
I'm sorry, but I think it is way too hard to pick one thing that would make someone marry again. And, I really hope that there are not women out there who truly regard a bank account as the most popular reason.
Ladies, we sell ourselves out too much. When are we going to stand on our own two feet, take responsibility for our own finances, and really, truly align our spending and financial goals with our values.
I am no money saint, as I have some credit card debt from the divorce and from a few months of shopping therapy. But in the mean time, I have continued a deep personal growth path that has opened me up to amazing possibilities, in which my perception of money and its role in my life is dramatically changing.
I have started my own business that is starting off well, I have a plan to pay of my student loan ($17,500), my car loan ($25,000), and my personal credit card debt ($10,000) in one year! I am talking about a total of $52,000. Sounds like a lot? Well, it is! But I am just wasting time if I cry that it is too hard, or that it is my ex-husband's fault, or that I will never make enough money.
It is time to wake up, ladies. No one is going to rescue you! One of my primary goals before I commit to someone again is that I am not only going to be debt free other than my mortgage, but that I have learned along the way to value my money for the experiences and freedom is can provide, not the material things and image. It is a work in progress, but slowly I am emerging into the type of woman I wanted to be before I was even married and that I now have the power to be now that I am divorce.
I think any divorced woman would find a lot of help with changing their perception (and their spending) of money by reading the book "Money & Happiness." It does not equate happiness as the result of having money. Rather, it discusses the true reasons why you spend like you do and to shift the role money plays in your life so that you can pursue your dreams knowing that your finances are in alignment with them. Also, watch Suzie Orman's PBS special "Women and Money," as this will also change your life!
Good luck to all of you. I know finances are scary, but we have just as much intelligence, guts, and perserverence as men to prosper financially. And, if done right, I know that we can have a lot more fun doing it and create more change in the world along the way.
P.S. Check out www.ladieswholaunch.com. It is what inspired me to start my own business and "re-launch" my life!
Why not?